I would say that I do have an idea as to what you are and will be going for quite a long, long time to come.
Though I lost my only child, my daughter in Jan. 2001 to Lymphatic cancer the emotions, though nowhere near as severe as they were in the first 2-5 years are still there and return almost like the aches and pains of old injuries only even more painful at times.
To TRY to get your through it all, and it is a very hard and lonely road to travel I am sorry to say, find good and trusted friends, TRY your best to stay well clear of those GREAT Pretenders, the Purveyors of Religion, trust me, they will, if they haven't all ready, come swarming around you like flies and WILL suck both the life out of you and everything else they possibly can.
Try to remember all the good timers and things, discard the bad or not so good and enjoyable, hang on to the love and memories and above all and everything else, CRY as much as you want/need, as often as YOU feel the need to do so and IF anyone looks at you as though you've lost all your marbles, just smile at them and wish the a nice day.
Though it may well sound trite, it is , by no means, meant that way, I feel for you, I have a darned good idea as where you are, where you have come from and where you will be traveling in the future, emotion-wise, TRY to stay the course, we are all here for you, at least those of who have been or are still making the same/similar journey as you are now, we are the ones who are here to encourage you to keep on going, there is light at the end of the tunnel known as Grieving and you will reach it, it just takes time.