It's after midnight here, and so it is officially my birthday. Normally, I would not make an announcement to anyone about it, and there have been times I have forgotten it because I don't like a big fuss. However, this past year has been rough. 43 was not kind to me. It has been one of the most stressful years of my life. I was reflecting back on this past year and trying to decide exactly where I wanted to go with my life. I was thinking about making healthier choices and taking care of myself for the first time ever. I went to shut off my work phone, and I realized that I had an email from my supervisor. She told me that she knew that I had today off, but would I please do xyz before I shut everything down for the three day weekend. Yes, she sent me an email at 10:30 pm the evening before my birthday asking me to do something on my birthday, a day in which I took off. And, you know what I did? I turned on my work computer, and logged in and fixed what she wanted me to fix, and then sent her an email back letting her know that I had fixed it. I shut my computer down and thought, why in the hell did I just do that? It was not imperative that it be done right then. It could have waited until Monday. I had just gotten home from a 15 hour shift. I didn't get home until 11:20 pm. I missed spending time with my husband and my son. My dogs were all upset that I wasn't home, and quite frankly I am exhausted. I decided that I am not doing it anymore. I am not putting everyone else's needs before my own. I will not allow my job to affect my home life again.I have spent my entire life putting everyone and everything before myself, and it is going to kill me if I continue on this path. So, for the first time in my life I am going to celebrate me and use my birthday as a new beginning. Happy birthday to me!
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33 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.- Happy birthday
- Your supervisor is a bitch
- Keep that fire, stick to your commitment, change your life. You new life starts today.
Rugglesby
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
7
Thank you. I actually like my supervisor. lol Our entire team is fantastic; we are just in a bad situation. I have already started working on my commitment by moving all of my work things out of sight. I will not touch any of it until Monday morning.
Alrighty! Happy birthday! Hey there! Im sure sorry for your crappy day of 15.5 work day. I turned down a salary job because of the 24 hour call to work. I hear you about the overtime pressure. They pressured a buddy of mine to take a salary job. He lost 30 thousand by going hourly to salary. Hmmm. Good luck out there. Its rough being sentimental when your out there trying to make a buck... i have been in that boat all my life...
BucketlistBob
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
5
Thank you. I am salary non-exempt so I do get paid overtime. I just don't want nor need it.
@Browneyedlady. Whew! They make going salary so tempting. Ive supervised so many jobs till i was almost seeing things. I was living off coffee and sugar. Running my ass off. It was one project after another. I was working 14 hour days all the time. 16 hour days too. I remember waking up in my office the following day with my computer waiting for that last report. My boss telling me he wasnt paying me for sleeping. My wife wondering where im at. I saw how i was being groomed to be one of the next mechanical shift foreman. You get stuck in that job and go nowhere till you retire. I feel your pain. You become salary and they own you. You end up kissing ass till you die...ugh.
Happy Birthday, Browneyedlady and good for you. This is THE best gift you could have given to yourself. I wish you the best. 
Betty
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
5
Thank you. It is past time to take care of me.
Happy Birthday! Don't you hate it when you let other people use you?
You do what they ask and then you feel even worse.
So enjoy your day, and I hope it is filled with love and happiness!
ebdb
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
6
Thank you. I have been allowing people to walk all over me my entire life and I am done with it. So far, my day has started off pretty good. All of these messages have really warmed my heart, and my husband brought me donuts this morning.
You Americans need some worker's rights!
Amisja
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
5
Isn't that the truth.
I was fine with it until it upset your dogs. 
Many happy returns.
Gareth
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
5
Me too. My poor pups. My twelve year old dog spent nearly 5 hours crying for me. It broke my heart. My husband tried everything to make him feel better, but he was not okay until I got home.
HBD to you !!! Here is your cake ? your coffee 
and most importantly lots of booze ?????so pick your poison and celebrate the hell out of this very well deserved day to do as you please !!! Cheers !!!
IamNobody
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
5
I will definitely have some cake today. Thanks
Oh happy birthday sweetie...here have a guilt free day of lounging about, eating crap and drinking wine on me. You have strict instructions from me to do nothing for anyone else except you!
Amisja
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
4
Thank you. I started my morning by eating the donuts my husband brought me. I plan on spending my day with my dogs relaxing.
@Browneyedlady Sounds perfect and you deserve it..much love
Happy Birthday! It sounds like your post shold go to your boss. I must say that I know the feeling. You paint yourself into a corner by being loyal and trying to please. But unless you set limits and speak up for yourself, no one will do it for you. It's a takers world. If you want yours you have to take it.
Tompain1
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
4
Thank you. Last night I realized that I need to be the change I seek. My reaction to these situations needs to be different. I am sure it will take some time, but I already feel better making the choice to change.
Have a great birthday and take care of yourself! Life needs attention.
AmelieMatisse
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
4
Thank you.
Happy birthday!????
Sticks48
Level 9
Apr 27, 2018
4
Thank you
@Browneyedlady You're Welcome. ☺
You go girl! Many happy returns!
Flyingsaucesir
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
3
Thank you
Happy birthday!! Enjoy it this year
Fulishsage
Level 6
Apr 27, 2018
3
Thank you.
Happy Birthday!
Howitstarts23
Level 6
Apr 27, 2018
3
Thank you.
This is a new you, so when I wish you a very merry birthday!!! I mean it.
Holysocks
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
3
Thank you.
@Browneyedlady You are most welcome. Enjoy!!!
Happy Birthday! As a present to yourself...set limits!
phxbillcee
Level 10
Apr 27, 2018
3
Thank you. I am going to have to work at setting limits. It will be a process.
Sounds like a song. Your handle would work better if it was brown eyed girl
lbusche
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
1
My dad used to call me his brown eyed girl, but I think I will keep it the way it is, because I am not a girl anymore. Lady fits.
Good for you. Eventually, most of us have this epiphany and learn to put up firm boundaries.
birdingnut
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
2
Thanks. It has been coming for a long time.
Ok, I read your whole post now and... I have a different take.
I say you were being a good employee and responsive to the needs of others. I don't see the need to beat yourself up.
No, I don't know the whole situation, only this one.
Questions: are you really hurt, damaged, by doing the work for your boss? If so, then you might consider a new job as this one is doing things it should not. If, on the other hand, the only pain is a decision to work late
then, well, as you said, you could've put it off until tomorrow. Your boss didn't say it had to be done now, just that it should be done before the three day weekend (which I would take to mean tomorrow would be fine). Yes, that would be during your day off, but, again, is there real hurt here?
Which is the real question, what damage has been caused here? Is your husband not supportive? I don't know how many times I've had to work late, nor my wife, but we each supported each other in every way we could when it happened. I'd bring her cookies I'd just baked (she worked from home mostly) and she'd listen to me about my day when I came home... and once, held me as I cried about my boss (she was a real... ahem, and we knew at that point that I needed to move on from my career). Long and short is that I never felt that I was putting her out and I worked, and hope I succeeded, to make sure she wasn't put out. Hell, I went in one a day of vacation. We had time before catching out flight and I had a few things to do... and the advantage of it being a vacation day was that no one pestered me while I was working (which was nice, I got some real work done in short order). yeah, it was odd and maybe even wrong but... it's who I am.
Is any of this the right answer for you? Maybe not. I have just gotten to a point where I try to ponder my feelings and try to find where they are really coming from and something about this post makes me think that your feelings are deeper than just work and being tired, and working during a break. My hope is that by asking questions,and offering up similar memories of mine, you might find the real crux of your issues.
For the record, if it IS work, if you ARE at that point I was at... this may just be that final signal that it's time to find new work. I am going through that struggle now. Need to figure out my next step and having great difficulty deciding where to place that next footstep...
Oh, and: Happy Birthday. I know, I certainly hope, that things will get better.
Gnarloc
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
2
My entire issue is that I try to be the best at everything I do. I am a great employee. I do whatever is asked of me and I go above and beyond what I am asked. I take accountability when things don't go well, and I do my best to help support my fellow coworkers (especially my teammates) I love what I do, but right now we are so swamped with cases that we cannot keep above water. I have double my mandated amount of cases, and because of that I cannot do my job the way I want to do my job. I cannot do my job in a 40 hour work week. The 15 hour work day has become more of the norm, and it is beginning to affect my health and my relationships. I keep getting told that more workers are going to be hired and that this is just a temporary situation, but this is what I have been hearing for over 6 months now, and things are getting worse.
All that being said, I don't know that I want a different job. I have thought about it and have even sent my resume to a few different places. I was given a job offer a week ago that I turned down, because it just wasn't the work that I really wanted to do. I want to do this work, but like I said before something has to change. So while the request probably should not have been a big deal, it was the tipping point. Something has to change, and the work is not going to, so that change has to be in me. From now on my phone will be turned off in the evening and on weekends unless I am on call, and I think I am going to leave my computer in the office. . It is a start at least.
Happy Birthday!
Me? My birthday is just another day of the year, so, no, I don't celebrate (per se).
Gnarloc
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
2
Thank you. Generally mine is as well.
Happy birthday! Hope this year is better
josh23452
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
2
Thank you.
Happy Birthday and good on you!
OpposingOpposum
Level 9
Apr 27, 2018
0
Thank you
Happy birthday!! Take your own advice. Take this year to put yourself, family, and needs before other nonsense. See how it works out. I feel you. I sacrifice much to help others and don't quite understand why. Just shows ur an awesome person. So yes, take this year and show them who's boss, haha.
Proto
Level 6
Apr 27, 2018
1
Thank you. I am definitely going to try to change things.
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