I just wrecked your BMW, it is totaled!!!

Eat shit and die!!!

Fuck you!!!

You can go fuck yourself!!!

You first asshole rat fucker!!!

Oddly enough, I’ve had that very conversation on more than one occasion with power tools…..and I’m from the shit hole US!?
Must be I’m bilingual?!

What is it with the British? They seem to use the F word so much it often even comes up in 'polite' talk.

I grew up with a number of variations of these phrases.

#1 Shit a brick she's gunna be a stinker! (ooh it's going to be hot)
#2 TFE me old cob, got a goonie chilling in the kamikaze esky. (Too fucking easy my friend, I have cask wine in the foam cooler)

#1 Geeze, lucky there's no low flying ducks around!! (I'm hungry)
#2 Lets go for a mung at Lumpy dacks, better chips than Kentucky chuck or macca's. (Lets go eat at Hungry Jacks (Burger King everywhere else but Oz), they have better french fries than KFC or McDonalds)

If someone starts boasting too much or is being pretentious, you tell either sex to "get their hand off it". eg self pleasuring a bit much.

Aussie

Or in the North of England

"If you fall down and break your leg...Don't come running to me for help"

"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!"

"I'll make you smile on the other side of your face"

"Come on get off"

"Hang on, listen, can you smell something funny"

"Listen buddy, you're no friend of mine, but that old bastard he's my best mate"

"it's old news that he's pretty ugly but for an old boy, but well a nods as good as a wink to a black cat in a coal cellar with the lights off and snow on the roof doesn't mean no fire in the grate, if you know what I mean"

Ist Irishman: (answering a knock at his door) Oh hello Micheal
2nd Irishman: Are you at home or is this not your house?
1st Irishman: 'tis my house
2nd Irishman: Well then It's no wonder that you are the spitting image of yourself. I've come to the wrong house
1st Irishman: Ah that'll be the case, do you have time for a drink?
2nd Irishman: I do that
1st Irishman: then you've not come to the wrong house.
Some time and half a bottle of Jameson's later
1st Irishman: Where was it you were wanting to be anyway
2nd Irishman: I was want to visit old O'leary, he's awful poorly, in bed under the doctor with his leg they say. Would you know how I get there
1st Irishman: Oh that's a long ways off, and I'll tell you this, you don't want to be starting from here!
2nd Irishman: Oh right then, I'll head home and try again in the morning.