Just be yourself. This sentence is one of the pieces of advice whose literal implementation should be avoided. In the bouquet of character traits of every human being there are not only fragrant, lovely flowers, but also prickly plants, crooked grasses and poisonous herbs. For example, in a job interview, it's probably not a good idea to really be yourself and also show off these less applaudable components of your character bouquet.

Those who show off their less endearing personality traits usually claim afterwards that they have not been themselves. People only feel authentic when they can present their best sides and conceal their weaknesses. The ideal self is considered the true self and not the self that is actually in harmony with personal values, attitudes and character traits. This is what psychologists around Corey Guenther report in a study. Authenticity has little to do with self-awareness and a lot to do with self-exaltation, the researchers write in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin . Most people think of themselves as rational beings who act morally. One's own character is evaluated on the basis of personal great moments, that of others on the basis of their misdeeds. The self-image is thus positively distorted: What one considers one's true self is actually a wishful image that shines and sparkles as if it had been polished up by an Instagram filter.

Thus, socially desirable behavior in particular triggers the feeling of acting authentically. The true self seems to reveal itself in situations where one appears friendly, extroverted, conscientious, emotionally stable and open-hearted. Whether this is an exception or not does not matter for the self-assessment. Apparently, even self-promoters actually perceive themselves as authentic persons who act in harmony with the core of their being.
The thing about the true self is paradoxical: In order to feel authentic, people have to pretend and hide some of their real selves - from everyone else and especially from themselves.