I'm sorry for your loss.
I've made my "When I die" plans known to everyone. I can only hope that they respect my wishes. It's not like I'll be able to do a damn thing about it otherwise.

My condolences on your loss. Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living & a rite to help the living at the beginning stage of grieving. Recently, a friend died who was adamant that he wanted to be cremated & have a secular service. A werk later he passed & had not communicated his wishes to his family. He had not had time to make arrangements...considering he was 42, he probably thought he had time. His mother is devoutly religious, elderly & very ill. The service reflected her devout religious beliefs. Friends were appalled & angry. I had to remind them that D is gone, he did not make his wishes known & this dog & pony show is what his mom needed to give her comfort in her loss. Friends were not happy but they got it. We had a separate "service" as he had wished.

My family is aware of my wishes. Cremation & a bonfire memorial under a full harvest moon with adult libations for all.

Once I am dead I have no say, but if they do as I ask there will be no religious aspect to my funeral at all.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

My mother was a feminist, atheist psychologist. At her funeral I invited my wife’s cousin Hillary who is a female episcopal priest to help put together a service. She helped my 4 siblings and I to pull our thoughts together. Hillary is strong, kind, progressive and open minded yet grounds herself in the study of her spiritual/religious tradition. She never pushed beliefs on anybody. I am agnostic, one brother is an atheist, one is a Buddhist and one is a convenient Christian. My sister is a devout Christian. It turned out really nice.

I’m not going to plan my funeral. I will let those in mourning find their own way.

Sorry for your loss.
I don’t think anyone in my family would do that. That being said, if they did, and it made them feel better, I know I won’t mind... I’ll be gone...
Personally I would love to be left in the desert to feed the wildlife... buzzards love some dead meat!

I always find myself a little torn about these kinds of ceremonies. I personally would love a Tibetan sky funeral, as the issue is still also a practical one beyond its sociological function. But from the social perspective, funerals are...not really FOR the deceased. Yes, they are the center of focus and attention and conversation, but for all practical purposes they are not in attendance, strictly speaking. The ceremony is to assist the bereaved in feeling some sense of closure through collective empathy and visual symbolism. Having said all that, this sounds like a case where people took that concept and ran it all the way across town, and honestly I bet it's pretty representative of your friend's relationship with them in life and that makes me sad, because 'what would this person say if they were here for this' should be important, and especially in the case of those who are lost early on, the people who are left with the responsibility of making the practical arrangements (assuming none were made before hand) are having to do so through a viscous soupy fog of loss and shock and pain and grief on a time crunch. It's relatively safe to assume that those people are going to stick to their comfort zone, and try to provide as comforting and (at least neutral if not) positive environment for those who will be in attendance, and if the religious disagreement was something that caused actual relationship issues for the family, it is better for them (the attendees) to be in an environment that removes that, which may help ensure more people will show up to add their voice and their stories because it's supposed to be about the love people had for the person who is gone, not about differences that might make people too uncomfortable to show up (which is selfish, but people in pain are often a little selfish.) It's all a really unfortunate balancing act.

I am sorry for your loss. Your experience is food for thought. Thanks for sharing.

I'll be dead. I won't care. Memorial services are for the living. Not the dead. Let them have what ever kind of service brings them comfort.

It's already planned. My son died at age 21 in 2000. I've spoken to the cemetery and they will allow my urn to be buried with him so I have made arrangements. Told my daughter I just want the cheapest box the crematorium gives her for my ashes. And then let the cemetery bury me and be done with it. No service

My preference would to be donated to science, specifically the forensics program at Texas State.

But, the service isn't for me. It's for my friends and family. I really don't care.

That said, I've thought of taping a monologue. I want people to remember how we laughed.

I’m sorry that you lost your friend, but funerals aren’t for the dead. They’re for the living. It’s a way of processing grief. As for me, there’s no real way to ensure that I get the ceremony that I want and I’m not really sure that I care. What i’m concerned about is how my daughter deals with my loss. The easier it is for her, the better. So, if it will help her psychologically, then she should give me whatever ceremony that makes her feel better.

I'm going to have mine planned out. There is no need to bring religion into my funeral. I'm going to leave this world the same way I entered it alone.

Funerals are for the living. Whoever loves me should do whatever brings them comfort when I am dead. I don't believe there will be any of me left anywhere to give a fuck. Everybody who matters knows that I wish to be cremated and have my ashes spread someplace beautiful. Whatever else they do or say to mark my passing is up to them. My husband is an anti-theist so if I die first, he will drink some beers and smoke some pot and leave my ashes somewhere I would have loved to hike. My mother will believe I went to a better place. My children are undecided skeptics and will probably find comfort from their tangible, still living loved ones.

Sorry for your loss. Yeah that kinda sucks. I want my ashes to be spread around my fruit trees. I would rather be Buried in my food forest so my decayed body can feed the forest but don’t think Florida law allows that. But it really doesn’t matter I will be dead and won’t care one way or the other.

My kids all know where I stand religiously, and they mostly agree but not to the point where they would declare it as I have. That's fine with me. I don't really think they could stand up to the scrutiny that I have. They have the right to be anonymous about it. It's always been my view that funeral services are for the loved ones left behind and not the deceased. But at the same time I would not want to be misrepresented at my own funeral. So I'm not sure what you do except arrange your funeral in advance or make sure your will spells out what is acceptable and what isn't.

I’m going to be creamated and I don’t care for a funeral. If they want to have a party, to celebrate that’s fine.

Nope, already taken care of.

I wanted to get DNR tattooed on my chest after my father's wishes were ignored for several days. His wife was just a completed idiot and had no sense about her. We were finally able to find the DNR he signed and removed him from the machine.
His poor health had made that discussion a frequent occurrence. He absolutely didn't want to be kept alive via a machine and told anyone who'd listen.
Family members can be such assess!

There won't be a service for me.
Once dead there are only two people anyone will call.
Both will say "not our body - not our problem"

I'm sorry to hear that they passed away. I've lost a few friends and family members.

I am sorry for your loss. Funerals are for the living. Your friend's family may have found comfort in the religious aspects of the service. If you thought it bizarre, you may find a more comfortable way to honor your friend's passing--some small, private ceremony that has meaning for you.
I encourage my large family to plan a funeral that works for them, to ease the pain of my passing and celebrate the joy of the life we shared. In my 80th year, that stop sign in the one way road of life is close.

Once I die it won't matter what they do with my leftovers or how they choose to say goodbye.