It's striking how much more we care about them (christianists) than they care about us.

Politely say thank you. Then mention we are agnostic but appreciate the sympathy from your beliefs. This is what I have always said in circumstances as such. With an added, in case I'm wrong it can't hurt when it comes to a mention of prayer to lighten the tension. Sometimes the best case scenario is to just blow it off though, because there's bound to be a certain few who take it personal. Hypocritical gossip behind your back.

Most sorry for your impending loss. Just chatted with a friend that is a hospice nurse and she confirmed, as noted earlier, hospice workers are trained in "Cultural Awareness" so if you express discomfort with their asserted Christian mysticism, they should respect your position.

My friend (who I helped de-convert into an atheist) also went on to express her anger towards the young nurse she was training last week as this nurse (strong Catholic) blanket asserted her "naive" Christian superiority world-view at every opportunity. i.e. not all hospice nurses are the same.

I went through this when my husband passed away. I told everyone at his celebration of life that Richard and I were not believers and that while I appreciated their concern and love for us both, I didn't want to hear about their religious beliefs. I asked for everyone to please respect my feelings and to simply tell me what it was that they loved about Richard.

We had a VA honor guard at the gathering, and they were quite understanding and very compassionate to my feelings. There were no prayers only music that Richard loved while they folded the flag for me.

It is important for us non believers to speak our truth to others. I know that these christians are mostly trying to be kind in their religious way. However, they need to be reminded that not everyone believes as they do. I wish you the best in a difficult situation.

IU am surprised to read that you haven't yet learned to ignore those comments, They are not important nor should bother you. Talk to your husband about was is going onright now. Even though he is not able to respond, he deserves to know about it. Ensure him that he matters to you above everything else. It will put both of you in a better state.

I'm so sorry to hear this. IMO, Take it easy, they're talking in their language, and I don't think they can do any better with yours. Their good intention and empathy matter.

Speak up and tell them that your grief is overwhelming and be honest about the fact that you are agnostic. If they know how to comfort you without the religious tones, they will. If not, at least they can think on it and comfort you better next time they see you in a more humanistic way.

Some people just are not taught to express themselves human to human without invoking religious figures. It won't hurt their feelings to know how they can better help you. Your feelings are more important than theirs in these moments. They might appreciate your honesty and may help them get in touch better with their own feelings when it comes their time to grieve.

Hospice workers ARE trained to speak with you in your level of spiritual comfort - but they won't know if you don't speak up. This will not only help you, but will help others they seek to comfort in the future.

Sometimes telling the chaplain the situation will get the message spread, it depends on the hosp and the chaplain.

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. Please know that this is one of those times where it's imperative that you put the needs of you and your husband first - and that should be the focus of everyone around you as well, so don't worry about hurting their feelings. You don't have to explain anything. You probably only need mention it to a close friend or hospice worker and they'll take care of running interference for you with other people. Take care of yourself.

We have been shielding their feelings for far too long as evidenced by your concern for their feelings but their disregard for yours with their presumption of religiosity. You and your husband are the priority now, you have enough going on without worrying about everyone else. Free yourself of how they've enslaved us by handling things whatever way is most comfortable for you, you're calling the shots now. My very best wishes to you!

Thy are trained to respect the wishes of both the patient and their families....just quietly let their leader (or whatever they call themselves) that you do not want to hear that, say your religion is "other" if you have to ( but you should not have to! Would you put up with this if you were Muslim, for example?) and all should be well just about instantly....you cannot expect them to read your mind.......

When my first husband was taken for emergency surgery, he was expected to die and the staff wanted to comfort me. I held up my hand and told them I was barely keeping myself together so please back off before I loose it. That worked.

I understand what you are going through. Don't be afraid to tell them to back off. Your emotions, not theirs, you get to deal with them as you see fit.

You will find out that you are stronger than you thought you could ever be.

If you need to vent, you will find willing listeners. Stay strong.

You may have to tell them that all that god talk upsets you to no end. Take care.

There won’t be no hurting their feelings. But if you want to shut them up in a hurry, tell them you’re a Muslim.
Very sorry for your loss.

"Please allow me to grieve in my own humanist way". They should get the message.

Sorry for your situation. You accidentally double-posted, BTW. Otherwise, I echo what Diaco said above.