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A 65-year-old woman had a heart attack. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?”.

God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn't you pull me from the path of the ambulance?"

God replied: " I didn't recognize you."

Flyingsaucesir 8 Apr 3
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3 comments

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2

This God was clearly a typical male.

Commenting on a changed female feature is fraught with risks for an ordinary bloke.

“I like your new haircut.” “Humph, that was two weeks ago.”

3

Good one. I had similar experience this morning with my middle aged widow neighbour. Since getting a live in squeeze a year or so ago she has now developed the voluptuous curves of a 25 year old & a pixie face. It took me a long time to recognise her.

Good on her.

Years ago, my sister changed her long hair to a kind of bob. It was amazing how this changed her facial structure. No one recognised her for quite a while.

@Zealandia great to see you're back.

6

At least she got out of paying for all those procedures.

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