My step dad sexually assaulted me for years. At first I was too young to understand, but when I did I started by telling him to stop, then physically moving his hands off, then leaving the room. Eventually when he kept persisting I continued to increase my responses. He started pinning me, which I wasn't strong enough to fight off, so I progressed to causing him pain until he would back off. Even the last thing I did when it happened was bite his finger and only gradually increase the pressure until he stopped, so my defense never took it farther than was necessary. But I shouldn't have had to keep increasing my response because he kept repeating and increasing his.

Culturally, we send and perpetuate a message that men can take liberties with female bodies, and if at first they say no, then rather than respecting that, men should persevere and are free to do whatever the female doesn't stop. Then the victims are blamed for overreacting because they don't feel safe and that a less severe response will be respected/enough.

Of course, a girl defends herself against sexual assault and gets charged with a crime in the process...

That is a shame. Self defense, HE should be charged not her.