He wished her well
And upgraded her cell
After she assured his lawyer
That she'll never, ever tell

Jeffrey had his hard-on
And Don, his five-iron
All Geslain is asking for
Is an itsy, bitsy pardon

But her victims are outraged
They want her ass caged
And the MAGA base suspects
Jeffrey's suicide was staged

The base voted for this crook
Who signed a bawdy birthday book
And who, about Epstein's crimes
At least knew if not partook

With a White House full of scaly reptiles
And the country falling behind by many miles
There's just one thing that bothers MAGA
They want to see the god-damned files!