CUT AND RUN! At what point would you do it?
6
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
14 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.
Violence crosses the line.
pixiedust
Level 8
May 11, 2018
3
Absolutely! But do you mean that you hang in there come hell or high water, just so long as it doesn't become violent? (Does that include emotional violence?)
@Abbelyne Pretty much - I used to be programmed that way. I think I've changed but haven't really had an opportunity to test it.
I cut and ran on Rob, 70, after two dates. Sent him this text:
"You rushed off the phone before we could discuss this. There's such a thing as good manners. By acting so withdrawn, distant and grouchy on Sunday, you did not even show good manners.
"I stayed calm and rose above. When you said, "Thank you for putting up with my bullshit," I realized you have some awareness of your rude behavior.
"The question is whether you are willing to change your dysfunctional behavior, and work on rising above and acting like an adult.
"We agreed in advance to have fun together last weekend.
"I kicked off the party on Sunday by giving you the best blow job of your life. You chose to act distant and grumpy, in a bad mood. You reminded me of a petulant child at a party who sulks.
"If you act this bad at the beginning of our relationship, how will you act when we become more involved? Nobody wants to be around a moody, grouchy person."
LiterateHiker
Level 9
May 11, 2018
4
Hey, girl, I give the best blow jobs! Also married for 33+ years to a man who disliked blow jobs, go figure.....i admire your smarts!
@AnneWimsey Oh Dear Anne. WTAF!!!
Glad you're out of it! That's CRAZY TOWN! Jesus Fucking Christ on a Stick!!! I've always wanted to type the latter out on a forum without getting hammered & can finally do it here! LOL FFS
Your mixtape is WAAAY too FIRE FOR THAT BS @LiteratHiker !!!
@AnneWimsey, Thank you for your support and kind words. Hugs.
@Qualia, What is a "mixtape"? Still, I got the drift. Thanks for your support.
"Fire"? Are you calling me hot? Aww... gee...shucks (sound of scraping hiking boot).
@LiterateHiker Yes meant as a compliment. I find you extremely intelligent, well spoken, charming and beautiful, so yes, you're too FIRE (hot) for that crap.
Fire can also mean not a doormat. Mixtape = hot set of tunes = YOU.
Love you, Qualia! What a lovely thing to say. Thank you.
It looks as though you've got your response LH.......... but why did you need to give so much before you knew whether he had anything at all to offer you? I hope your next date has the initiative to 'kick off the party' himself and not put you through all this crap!
@AnneWimsey I'm not overly keen on receiving intensive blow jobs, but I love giving them. I love sensing the enjoyment I am giving. Am I unusual?
@Abbelyne, Sunday was the 5th day we spent together.
@LiterateHiker You're very welcome . Just my observations based on your posts & profile. You're lovely, and I mean that. 
you too. 
@Abbelyne I can't speak for LiterateHiker, but I personally, have a history of being a "sex interviewer". My rational being that while sex is still important (and I JUST discovered this ok, it wasn't a thing even 4 months ago) that my default setting has been rediscovered for the time being. If we "click" there that's a huge check mark in their favor and makes me more likely to want to explore what else is beneath the surface.
If they fail in that regard, there needs to be a whole other lot of "goodies"(personality match out the whazoo, temperament, not a bum, etc) there to make up for the shortfall or I'm out. Period.
It looks to me like this guy failed LH's "test", and I don't blame her for a hot minute.
She asked me to marry her, 17 years later she asked for divorce, 2 years later we divorced. I don't cut and run, I let her do the cut and run. I live like that.
GipsyOfNewSpain
Level 9
May 11, 2018
4
A bit off topic GoNS, but would you do anything differently next time?
why?
sassygirl3869
Level 9
May 11, 2018
2
Why what SG? Why do I want to know at what point you'd cut and run? I guess, if that's your question, the answer is because the site likes us to keep making posts so that we all keep performing by interacting.
I only cut and ran once. After 16 years he was drinking and having blackouts, getting more and more physically abusive and we had a daughter with cerebral palsy. Got my daughter and myself out of there and got an apt. He had a breakdown and sent his parents to rescue him when he was getting evicted.
@sassygirl3869 Sorry you've had such a traumatic time SG.
When the pain on the outside is up to the level of the pain inside of me.
Spinliesel
Level 9
May 11, 2018
5
Ooooh....... well I know about pain on the inside....... the pain I've experienced on the outside is physical violence......... but I make sure I'm nowhere near that these days.
When you wake up in the middle of the night and she is standing over you with a steak knife in her hand, so you ask her what she is doing and she just says 'Nothing' and walks out of the room.
Surfpirate
Level 9
May 11, 2018
8
Mon Dieu SP, please get out of there quickly!
@Abbelyne I did but not for another 8 years.
I nearly did - well I did actually - but then changed my mind. We learned to compromise.
But if compromise is impossible ....
Petter
Level 9
May 11, 2018
3
When the misery (whether emotional or physical) is past your comfort level. When their car is in your driveway and you do not feel a rush of gladness when you see it. When you feel taken for granted. When you have become someone you do not like.
All of these things May be fixable with communication and/ or counseling, but your Life is always ticking away, never to be regained.
AnneWimsey
Level 9
May 11, 2018
4
@germangirl90439 40+ years and I still flinch at sudden movements in my vicinity. On the other hand, he's dead, so the nightmares of him killing everyone stopped. I am grateful every day to be here.
@germangirl90439 Right back atcha!
Ah yes AW, I can see that you're a person who's learned the signals from experience. More power to you xxx
@germangirl90439 Ah yes, a happy relationship with a happy dog! You may have discovered the ultimate relationship GG xxx
@germangirl90439, @AnneWimsey I hope that, more than just freedom from fear, you find some real happiness AW (Maybe get a dog like GG 
)
@Abbelyne i have 2 small dogs that make me LOL every day, my Ideal family!
@AnneWimsey Perfect
Depends on a number of factors, there is an argument for delaying the decision if it effects more than two parties, but there is is also an argument for a clean cute too. Everyone's circumstances are different so what might good for one may not necessarily be good for another.
RonB
Level 5
May 11, 2018
3
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.