... Brace yourself... gonna tell a bad joke. What’s the difference between a wedding and a funeral? ....................................................................................The Cake!......................................

I attend several weddings per month, since I perform weddings for a living. Mine are usually of the simple short sweet variety, usually a few laughs, a few tears, toes in the sand.

Last night's was a pair of deaf girls from Europe, who didn't speak much English, but everything was conveyed with lots of emotion and it was a beautiful event, with just the two of them, me and a photographer on a gorgeous beach at sunset.

Glad I don't involve myself with sophisticated weddings with lots of pomp and circumstance, but it's interesting to see the contrast between a royal wedding and what I do, both achieving the same result! Two lives being promised to each other, for better or worse.

I hate weddings.

The last wedding I went to, I was 19-years-old.

The last wedding I went to, I was 19-years-old.

Hmmmm.....

Specially if I didn't have to pay for it !!!! ??

I love any fancy wedding I can watch in my jammies.

Good Attitude!!

"How come you're not married?" he asked. "Just lucky I guess" she said.

Couldn't give a toss about the this Royal Wedding or any others really, as for others only my friends weddings would mean anything

Once took photos as ‘my gift’ at family & friends weddings. Never a dull moment.. Can’t remember the last one I attended now. Shit, I’d say 80% of those first ended long ago … but I’ve got the negatives

(Starts quietly cancelling the dress, the reception and the cake)

There is thrifty Scots blood in my heritage and I look at modern weddings and smh. The "average" wedding is well over $10,000. The average wedding gown costs over $2000. I used to watch "Say Yes to The Dress." Why do people spend so much money on a dress that will be worn once and for part of ONE DAY? $40,000 would be a nice down payment for a house that will last you the rest of your life. What are our priorities? I will never marry again. But if I did it would be a quick ceremony in front of a judge followed by a cocktail party type reception. Nice dress maybe but nothing over $200. And if the whole party costs more than $3000 something is horribly wrong.

I attend weddings when invited but have no interest in any that I am not invited nor one of my own.