Much has fallen apart in modern society because

1. Most people are unable to differentiate between what they need and what they want.
2. Many cannot be satisfied with enough.
3. People no longer think for them selves but rely on their preferred media to decide for them
4. And no one is willing to be patient and wait for something or someone or their own turn.
5. Everything is now or never, me first and everything and everyone else is not my problem

I would like to get along with everyone but my responsibility is to better society through my actions. If I see injustice I must do something, inaction is acquiescence.

food ,shelter and hope for the future

So long as there are haves and have nots, rich and poor, super wealthy and those living like animals on the streets - and all the infinite dynamic in between - there will be friction.

I'm a big believer in minding one's own business.
As long as those around me are not engaging in violence toward animals, children, the elderly, the disabled, or anyone else who isn't asking to be abused, and they aren't engaging in criminal activity, burning crosses or having hate rallies, I honestly don't think
what they do is any of my business. If they're religious, that's fine. As long as they keep it to themselves. I'm not interested in hearing about any of it.
I'll keep my dog from shitting in your yard, and you do the same.
If I see you being robbed, I'll call the police. If your house is on fire, I'll call the fire department. We can say "hi" over the fence, or wave when we see each getting the mail.
Beyond that, I do not feel compelled to know my neighbors.

Like Morgan Freeman suggested on how to be done with racism...... Stop talking about it. Period. ( I think his approach is actually very interesting and as I understand it, he is basically saying that one way to break the circle is to not get caught up in it)

You’d think.. My neighborhood’s fairly diverse, though plenty more them’s than me’s. We get along, outside of the occasional (literal) dogfight. Makes me feel, on a base level, we’re a lot alike. It’s when our perceptions are projected beyond home when the distinct differences appear to emerge. And, they magnify..

Distant, or outside forces appear to benefit or profit by division. The tremendous variation ‘my neighbors’ perceive in the greater world appears to be what divides us. If base perceptions differ to such degrees, as a nation can, I’ll assume we’re all fighting or arguing over maintaining what we value about our lives closest to home, using vastly different tools, philosophy or tactics.

United we stand, divided ~ this

I agree. A source of many arguments is now that civics is no longer taught in school. Most no longer know what government is or how it should work. Knowing how things should work will help.

You've identified the foundational and almost insurmountable issue which divides people in our societies; a consensus about what our society needs to look like to serve the interests of the majority.

It's the difference between the visions which ultimately causes the divisiveness. And the larger the population, the more difficult it gets to facilitate consensus.

Countries in Asia and South Asia have had millennia to work on the question; unfortunately, Americans have only been coping with the problem for about 250 years, and it shows.

Like life for individuals who have to go through their own baptisms of life's fires, the US is feeling it's growing pains, again. Also unfortunate, is that leaders often believe they know it all and refuse to benefit from the learning opportunities history offers those who choose to learn. So the stress goes on until the tipping point is reached where the majority agrees, or at least reaches consensus.

I do like your model though; "Politeness, courtesy and minding one's own business" seem like great criteria to start with; and i would add respect. With humans however, I would bet that we could have a long debate about what those criteria would look like in a perfect society in real life. Lol

I vote for compassion, empathy, non harming