I'd end up bothered by guys. I put up my 'sexual preference label' for a reason.

... and you're here...

Men with options go for looks above all else initially. Women have more complicated attraction switches. We each imagine our opposite gender works the way we do: hence all the confusion.

That's a lot of questions and there is a LOT that goes into "attraction" including genetic make up, parental figures, role models, experiences during childhood, and more. The on/off switch for everyone is multifaceted even if they say they like one thing in particular.

Well for me looks are the first trigger when thinking about a romantic partner and yes as krass as it may seem within the first 5 seconds of seeing a girl all the biological gears tick: we’re all organisms here and I’m not ashamed of it.

However, looks alone aren’t enough to sustain the attraction. She needs to show interest in me and I mean beyond saying something like “you’re hot” or something like that. Showing a caring attitude and spending quality time together and sharing our stories with each other is pretty good bonding time. I also have to develop a deep sense of trust with a girl: of course this is also true of all of my friends which is why I don’t have that many friends, but the ones I do have I know they have my back.

This is very different from me 10 years ago where I just cared about how girls looked and solely wanted a plethora of sex. I still do want a plethora of sex, but now there are more requirements than just being a pretty face and being down to do it.

Sense of humor.
Similar sentiments on existence.