we all have secrets that we never let anyone else discover.

I was married for 27 years, secrets she kept finally came out and destroyed the marriage. You can not keep secrets from someone that close for that long. They will come out eventually.

Open communication leads to trust, which leads to a great relationship.

EVERYONE keeps secrets.

Depends on the "secret".
For the most part, everyone keeps some secrets.
There are things that may be in your spouse's past that are absolutely none of
your business (general 'you' ).

I think secrets undermine relationships and drive in wedges the move people away from each other.

No. No secrets ever! What good can come from that? If you’re not open and honest what kind of relationship do you have? Not one built on a foundation of trust that’s for sure.

Depends on the secret

You are not one person, you are two separate people in a close relationship.

You need to have your own activities and your own thoughts to stay healthy.

Nothing wrong with not being an open book.

There is nothing inherently unethical about maintaining a degree of privacy, even in the closest of mutually trusting relationships. However, in my married and divorced experience, marriages work better when nothing is intentionally hidden. If my ex and I had been more open about our fears, worries, and needs, we would have had a better relationship.

Shutting the door when you're in the bathroom doesn't mean that you're doing anything in there that you shouldn't

My experience is when one is keeping secrets, it is all about to end.
4 out of 4. 100% accuracy for me.

Why would i want to know all my wifes business? Every now and then she asks me if i remember her talking about a guy friend from the past and tells me what she finds out on Facebook. I just listen... i don't really care. I have no secret lover. If she does i can't do anything about it. Shes not showing signs of secrecy.

What's a secret? Is it anything that you don't tell your partner? Do you think you need to inform them of what you've had for lunch, who you talked to at work, why you've thrown out that particular pair of underwear? Big life events need to be shared since they've shaped who you are. There are plenty of things I don't think about, or remember. If it's important, that should definitely be shared.

The word secret implies something negative. I have thoughts I don’t feel compelled to share with anyone.

The question is moot. They all do.

My wife and I have a polyamurs relationship. Basically I trust her that I don't really care to know things. She has her stuff like I have mine. Our rules are pretty simple if one of us has a date with both meet them, and we share location info for safety reasons.
Past the relationship part the only other secrets she has is what ever engineering project she is working. So basically I don't worry about what I don't know.

Voted no but think some secrets of previous experiences would be okay. In my 2 marriages both kept certain secrets of their current behavior which eventually ended the marriages. Eventually the lies to keep the secrets catch up to you.

I was married once and no secrets are okay. Eventually they will surface, no matter how big or small. Plus if you have a conscience it will eat you up.

The oldest trick question in the book. It will be nice if you could narrow it down to a more specific area. If I did something wrong that will affect my partner and I don't say anything then that qualifies as keeping a secrect. On the other hand, if I envision something that has never happened and I don't say anything, is that keeping a secret? What are we talking about here?

Yes. People who insist on knowing secrets are not showing respect to the person's right to privacy. What is in the mind of another person is in their locus of property and rightful control, and it is not right that society demands people to share their secrets, or suffer the consequence of losing the relationship.

Also, some of us are not likely to even remember our secrets. So for there to be a demand for telling secrets is misguided.

Depends.
Want to be an accomplice to criminal activities ? Or shall they remain secret.

Generally no secrets, but depends on what it is I think.

No. Keeping secrets is not ok. That being said, there are lines you do not cross. Questions you don't ask because it's none of your business.

For example, are you STD free is a perfectly acceptable question to ask. Who are your former sex partners and what did you do with them in bed, is not.

I am not one to with hold..It eats me up. I told my kids when they were teenager I really put our 16 yr old dog to sleep before we moved he didnt swim out to sea so died doing what he loved..my daughter was mad I told her..but said I didn't want to wait to tell them on my death bed
I do however wish my ex could have kept all the secrets he had for 17 years at the time we got divorced...it was a lot to hear in a day.