Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate it

Lost my best friend late 2016. I think dealing with grief is the only advantage the religious have over us. They can theorize “they’re in a better place “ while we have to deal with the reality of loss. I try to reflect on the good times to dampen the sorrow. It’s does get better with time, grief is natural and don’t try to suppress it. Letting it out, talking, crying and getting hugs help.

It was surreal for a long time after dad died (back in December of 2012). Things that I'd never associated with him before - such as certain songs or even playing some video games (he was never a gamer) - would bring a wave of remembrance and grief.

After the initial discovery of his death, surrounded by my immediate family and a small group of friends, I preferred to do all of my grieving in private. It was months before I started to feel somewhat "normal" as I adjusted to the reality that he was gone for good.

These days, I still think about what life would be like if he was still around and I wish we could have had more time - but overall the pain is mostly a dull ache

Someone said 'grief is just love with nowhere to go'. Like all losses we feel the hole. We can stand around staring at it, or we can move on. How long we sit staring at it is up to us. Its ok to let go of the pain though. Letting go of the pain does not mean that we let go of the person. They stay with us.

Such a hard thing... You miss them, think about them and wish things were different. That said, I try hard not to live in the past (too sad) or the future (too scary without him) but right here, right now in the present. It works somewhat... Sorry if you are hurting.

One must walk thru it. One must immerse oneself into it until the healing begins to nullify the intensity. One must go into the flames of dispair. Then permit the healing to wrap the wound in acceptance.

I lost my wife of 27 years to lung cancer from diagnoisis to death was just over a year and one month's time in Sept 2017. She was a smoker,quitting maye 36 years ago,but probably too late,there's a support group out of a company in Springfield where we lived,called "Lost and Found",it helped a lot with the greiving process,I still tear up on seeing her pictures, and other pieces of jewelery I've bought her over the years. Greif come in waves,one moment you are OK then a song plays or places you went to eat is close by and you turn into a waterfall,going through handkerchiefs.

For me it has been the worst pain l have ever felt. Everyone has to find their own way to deal with it. ?

I've lost many. I internalize everything. I'm hoping to explode one day.

Yes. I think the important thing is to allow yourself to grieve and not let people push you to "get over it." Be kind to yourself. And don't expect TO "get over it" - often grief comes with a big and unwelcome change in your life, you can learn to live with it and carry it, and the pain will lessen in time, but there's no going back to the way things were. You will have ups and downs, and that's OK. I don't know your specific situation but there's a blog I follow that you may find helpful, it's called "What's your grief" [whatsyourgrief.com]

You bet. At the age of 50 I was on the top of the world. Financially set, kids grown, then boom! My wife was struck down with an incurable, malignant brain tumor. She was in perfect health. The surgery that saved her life left her an invalid and I was a care-giver for 3 years until she died. We lost everything, my career, most of our net worth, our health insurance, most of our friends, everything. You just have to move on. Thoughts and prayers were no help at all.

Yes, I try and remember the good times. Remember to care of myself (for them), and to try and, 'do them proud'. I believe they still live on in what they taught you, what they added to your life. I'd add a song I like that's relevant but it may be too poignant at this time. Try this article instead: [hellogrief.org] Sending you best wishes.