So I recently made the decision to delete all my dating profiles. After years of an admitted addiction to searching, viewing and messaging I am fed up. I’m no (insert whatever hot actor you fancy) but in general, I have not had problems attracting women in real life. Where I currently live there aren’t many potential dates. And I don’t date married women (I get offers. It’s literally depressing) Hence the switch to online. I took me all this time to figure out why it would never work for me. Too much competition. I’ve been told that the average woman can get 50 to 100 messages DAILY. That’s just crazy. I think this marginalizes the interaction between a woman and a potential suitor. If things don’t work out with one guy who the hell cares. There are literally hundreds more beating down the door. I am the type of guy that moves slow has made few real connections in life so each one is special to me. Online dating just makes the whole experience feel cheap. Yea I know some might say I should try harder but I think I will try the old fashioned way. Oh wait that would require my introverted ass to get out the house and interact with humans. Shit… Guess I’ll start praying to the imaginary god I just made up. Because miracles happen every day right (Sarcasm)? LOL
8
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11 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.There are many that probably feel the same way you do. Who ever told you women get 50-100 messages was highly delusional & full of shit to boot. On line dating is tough but it's like anything, it all takes time. With this site, you get to know people at a more slower pace and see how they interact with others, the groups and interests they may have, & the chat rooms now helps out a lot. Moving slow is a good thing because as they say, all good things come to those who wait.
mistymoon77
Level 9
May 28, 2018
1
I love that response and I agree. I've only been on one date in my years of online dating. She wanted to meet right away but I wish I had followed my gut and waited. She ghosted me soon after. Still bummed about that one lol. Taking things slow is the only way for me from now on. Lesson learned
Those 50-100 messages a day? Mostly hit on by guys who don't know any better, who probably think if they just send a "hi" or a dick pick that they'll at least get some sort of response. Such a waste of my time. It was only that rare individual who would actually say something thoughtful who would merit a response. I'd just delete tthe other 99%.
bleurowz
Level 8
May 28, 2018
1
Wow that is just sad to me. Know we aren't all like that. I tried to be genuine and thoughtful with my messages but rarely got responses. The more I learn I am realizing it's hard for women too. Trying to build something with a complete stranger is hard! And possibly dangerous for women. I'm trying to learn and understand more so if I ever try again I will be better
@Tutankhamun Definitely, I would respond if it was a thoughtful message. There's never any guarantee of a match, but to me that's a feather in anyone's cap. I think a lot of people have the attitude -- women too, I'm sure -- of just throwing anything out to everyone and seeing what sticks. To me that's the equivalent of junk mail.
@Tutankhamun I think anyone who recognizes a thoughtful response will pick that up. If not, they're not worth it.
@SACatWalker They maybe were looking for something particular, everyone's got different criteria. And here's something interesting: if I got something I deemed thoughtful, I'd write a little something back, and then even those men, some would disappear, I guess they never expected a thoughtful response... Gosh, it's been quite a few months now since I've even been on any dating sites, it feels like a long time ago.
... Someone else must be getting my daily 50-100.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
May 27, 2018
3
I don't think I've received even 50 messages total in 13 years of being on dating sites off & on lol
I feel the same way. I am just through with the games.
JimG
Level 8
May 27, 2018
1
Agreed. Sucks ass
There's nothing more I can add. You're exactly right. Those are my assessment as well and like you, I'm getting out of the house and meeting people the organic way. Good luck to you, buddy.
jujuofthesea
Level 7
May 27, 2018
2
Thanks man same to you!
There is some one out there for you. Just do your thing and sooner or later you'll find a mate.
Trod
Level 5
May 27, 2018
1
I hear that man
I think about giving up as well. I haven't deleted any of my dating profiles, though. I just don't log onto them anymore. There's no one that lives close to me anyway, and the one or two that do, well, let's just say I'd rather stay home.
BlackDove
Level 7
May 27, 2018
2
I can relate. I saw someone call it "dating site fatigue."
Never mind potential dating site suitors, it appears from your profile pics that no-one lives near you literally lol. You're in the wilderness! (On a personal note i would love to live there ?)
I may go back eventually. One particular experience I had recently was the last straw. Realized I need to work on myself a bit
Hi, Tutank
You will earn more points and help other members get to know you better if you post a recent photo and write an informational profile since that's the first place many people look when they see a new member.
The profile should list your interests and hobbies, what you're hoping to find in a partner, etc. People are attracted to a positive attitude.
To find members near you, click on the "Meet" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and fill our your preferred search parameters.
A link to FAQ and a website tutorial is on the home page.
birdingnut
Level 8
May 27, 2018
0
Thanks for the tip. But im not really on this site to date. More a sounding board with like minded individuals.
@Tutankhamun Your post seems to indicate disappointment with your dating efforts.
@birdingnut Yes extreme disappointment. That's why i cancelled all my memberships. The truth is I was obsessing over it.Then,I finally had one date with an absolutely amazing woman. She indicated that she enjoyed it as well but for whatever reason it fizzled out. After two years of agonizing online I just had enough. I am horribly shy and have social anxiety. I'm not ashamed in any way but it does make the online dating environment a bit impossible for me. This site provides a good environment free from dating or expectations and I appreciate that.
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
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