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Do you split the bill when you go on a date?

Redcupcoffee 7 May 28
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81 comments (51 - 75)

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3

I'm good with whatever is decided. I always ask how she'd like to handle it, but am always ready to get it.

3

Past experience has taught me to always be prepared and willing to pay for everything. If that's not what ends up happening, that's fine, too.

3

It depends on the relationship. If someone asks me out on a date I guess I expect them to pay but I usually reciprocate at a future point. If I'm actually in a relationship it seems more fluid to share expenses. It has made me think though of situations when I do things with friends and it is always a pay for yourself thing and if one person is driving, either someone else pays tolls, parking, helps with gas, etc. I guess the whole guy always pays for dates goes back to the days when women didn't have money.

@AmelieMatisse as I have explained in other thread, I don't split or expect woman to pay the bill ever. That's how I was raised (My Mom taught me well ) but I have to say that you brought an interesting point that I never thought about....the days when woman didn't have any money. I think you are right and this little detail is probably overlooked most of the time. Interesting.

@IamNobody yeah there is still a disparity in wages between the genders but there are women who may make the same or more than the man they are dating. And also money is power so a man footing the bill all the time may go back to the time when men had more power over women. Whatever it signifies it most assuredly is representative of how culture used to be

@AmelieMatisse yes, it can be analyzed in so many different ways. My thought process always have been that if I am inviting then why does the woman have to pay....... Even on the exception (the story about the bar owner), I offer to pay and fought for it until she did put me in my place !! Ha ha..its one of my treasured memories.

@IamNobody I remember reading that one. Personally I think she was foolish as it would have been more $ in her cash register. But who knows, maybe some guy called her out for accepting.
I remember back a long time ago when I was a single mom with a minimum wage job, I sure couldn't pay my way let alone pay for both myself and a date for anything more than an ice cream cone. Anyone not ever experiencing that phenomenon in their life would have a hard time understanding those dynamics. Life experience help to form you into who you become, which can be good or bad for your emotional and mental well being.

3

I always offer to pay my own way

3

I offer to pay for both of us if it's the first date, especially if I was the one who invited. If there are more dates along the way, I'd prefer to split, taking the bill just occasionally.

2

1st date when I ASKED THEM out I cover it all we can workout how we pay in the following encounters

See that's a good rule right there. The inviting party should pay for suggested activities. The economy can be rough for some out there lately, but it bloody rude to frame a date around "how is your budget for entertainment this week".

If you invite to dinner or a movie, you should be ready to pony up, man or woman.

Exactly, I always pay for the first time out. From there on i have no problem her paying or splitting.

2

I always go with the intention to pay. I play it by ear and don't put up a fight if she tries to split.

2

Whether to split the bill is determined by who does the inviting and what understanding was reached before the fact. If everyone/the other person just shows up, there's a potential problem. Generally, body language in such a situation is a good indicator as to expectations about who should pay.

2

I split the bill when I feel there is no future in it.

Dates are so depressing lol

2

Normally I just pay the bill. There are a few times when I’ve split it with someone else, and it makes me feel good when it’s mutual. Hate to anyone to split the bill. Guess I’m old school that way.

If it’s a double date or group of people, I’d rather pay just my portion (my date and I).

2

I always offer to pay part of the bill when invited and refuse to accept money if I did the inviting.
If they want to help pay the bill, I'll have them leave the tip. I've discovered you can learn a lot about a person by the amount they tip on a free meal. If they don't leave at least 25%, I won't be paying for their meal ever again.

Interesting. I agree that the amount tipped speaks to how generous someone is in life.

2

I've always paid, but obviously, I need a better dating strategy.

JimG Level 8 May 28, 2018
2

Yes, I split my date.

That could hurt...

2

I always offer, but i like to talk about that beforehand so there isn’t any misunderstandings.

2

No.

Coldo Level 8 May 28, 2018
2

Unless there's a big wealth disparity I'll usually pay the first time but would look for some reciprocity in the long term.

2

I pay for what I eat. Why would I expect someone to pay for my food?

At movies I will usually go in and get popcorn and drinks when date is getting tickets since that price and the line is about te same and time is saved.

2

Absolutely. I believe in equal partnerships and that includes everything. I don't want anyone thinking that I owe them anything but my companionship.

1

Of course.

1

Yes if she makes as much money as I do. Or we treat each other every other time.

1

Absolutely not if it is a date. If it is on outing that falls into the grey area I go along with however she wants to do it. I offer, but don’t argue. I’d say relative incomes also factor in.

1

I always pay for the first date. Usually after that it's separate checks or one person pays and the other provides the tip. For things like birthdays or other celebratory outings, I'll just pick it up.

1

Ha!
No. We've the same credit card.
🙂

1

Depends on the origin of the date. If I ask and she accepts, it's between her and me. I feel if I asked, I should pick up the tab. If the request was not as intimate as a date, and a discussion preceded the agreement, then going "dutch" would fine unless a different agreement was reached. I've had friends and I pay alternately for a light dinner before a movie and go dutch on tickets. Worked out fine. Things change when either romance or desire enter into the picture and hopefully would be apparent to both partup

Sorry, parties understand each other the nature of the relationship between them and how such things as money are accepted.

1

I'd never go for a meal on a date, until we are a couple.

But I always offer to pay for drinks on a date (if I've asked her out). If she insists that she pays for a round occasionally then this is one tick in the box.

If she gets all shirty about me insisting on paying for a drink then I know she is going to be a problem, and I'll bail.

KenG Level 6 May 28, 2018

Shirty? That made me laugh.

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