I have a friend that became a Mormon and moved to Utah so he could marry his "Love of my life". I counseled him at great length against, but he ignored my advice. The marriage lasted 11 months. I give you the same advice. You are who you are in your heart of hearts. You can not be anything else my friend.

The first thought that came to me after reading your post was I wonder if your girlfriend was willing to compromise. Only you know if you can live with yourself if you go ahead with her wishes.

Only you know what it is worth to you. What are the implications after you are married. What if it doesn't work, half of marriages end in divorce, and a large part of that other half stay together in spite of the fact it may not be a good relationship. The Catholic church frowns on divorce more than murder. If she won't compromise on this, what other big decisions will she not be willing to compromise on. Follow your gut.

Wedding is the smaller of the problems here . Wedding brings kids . Kids bring responsibilities to teach and provide w options and choices . If wife religious and imposing to u , an adult , what do u think will be the fate of your potential kids ?

JESUS CHRIST!!! Are you afraid of a little water? Take your baptism, laugh at the priest's sexy little boy jokes, marry your woman, stop going to services, write the pope to excommunicate you for godless heresy. You gave her her "fairy tale" wedding - now tell her that's it. Dispite your personal convictions it doesn't excuse you from human obligations/traditions, particulary when "holy ceremonies" are involved. Get it over with - it's just water, god doesn't give a damn if you belive it.

If she is Catholic and hellbent on this it would appear that you have to do it their way.

You are the bigger person by being true to who you are. A non believer. What are you bringing to the marriage? A deep dive needed here. This isn't about her- this is all you.

Good luck. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest.

relationships are attachments. attachments cause suffering. you are stronger without.

My comment got cut off. You have to decide if you feel like she is going to push farther and how far you are willing to go.

Dude I went to pre marriage counseling at my now ex wife church so we could get married there and even pretended to be a believer. Just so she could have the wedding of her dreams. The wedding is all about the bride. If you love her do what you have to in order to give her this. It won’t make you any lass a heathen Just make sure you have one hell of a bachelor party so it’s worth it you too.

If you love her then you will have to make some consesions. No, I am not saying it will be easy.

Too bad you have not been baptised yet. If that had been done before the age of consent and reason you could now be DeBaptised.
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Boy...what a tight squeeze you have put yourself in! Because, this is such a big issue (for both of you), I would put the marriage on hold for now! This relationship needs some more experience with the tension that these different life perspectives will bring on! Wouldn’t you want to know how they will work together...since they are very different! You will need skill and not just romantic love here! My best to you both!

Easy way out, get baptized. It's not a big deal to pretend.....what you really have to weight in is what else will be coming at you going forward. Will you be able and willing to handle it as well?

Love is compromise. Tell her how you are uncomfortable with it and maybe there's a different way. Maybe an outdoor wedding or something. If she blatantly refuses to even consider it and refuses to compromise then maybe it's best to not marry or break up, because then she obviously cares more about her own desires than you

You need to have confidence that she will honor your position. If she doesn't you both have a rocky road ahead. Be true to your core values or you may later resent her for nudging you away from them.

This was an incident in the old movie" I Remember Mama". If it would make her happy what is the harm? Marriage is about compromise. It is referred to as working on the marriage. But it's compromise. Now if she wanted something like a face tattoo, I might consider that very carefully.

Dude ... the religious bullshit and the ceremonial mumbo jumbo is all just that - mumbo jumbo. It all has about as much true significance as waving your hand over a hat to make a rabbit appear. If she's worth that paltry bs to you then by all means go for it. Having some happiness and the experience of love for any time makes it a no-brainer. Just remember that with attachment comes suffering. That is the price.

As someone who was raised socially Catholic I can understand her desire as Catholicism is built on ritual however I would be unwilling to go thru the process of being baptisted into any religion to make my partner happy because it would be dishonest. If having a priest officiate is important you can find some pretty progressive priests who would be willing to marry you outside the church which seems like a reasonable compromise.

Getting married in that church might have important connections for her which have nothing to do with religion. I'd find out whether it's REALLY about religion or just about satisfying her parents, etc. She should know that, as an atheist, ''conversion'' is off the table here! This is a very basic difference and you should know precisely what her agenda might be.

I was just a kid when I got married my fiance was Catholic and wanted to be married in the church but was willing to forgo it. It didn't really matter to me so I said church it is. There was no baptism involved, not sure where that idea came from. No it didn't change my feelings about religions.

You must had no friends, seeking advice of strangers?

I would refuse to be married by a potential pedophile.

I would have never done this when I was younger, but now I think its less important. I say "go for it", provided you have all discussions before hand. In particular-- will you be expected to attend church, will the children be raised religious, etc. Other than that, its just a ceremony that isn't very important.

If it was me, I'd go ahead and get baptised, since it doesn't mean anything anyway. But you should be concerned about her insistence on a religious rite. It may prove to be more problematic later down the line.