Sorry I am late, I didn't want to come.

The British rail network has some the best reasons for delays;
Leaves on the line
The wrong type of snow

The the prize goes to an Indian airline
We apologize for your delayed flight. This is due to the pilot being eaten by a tiger

Late to biz meeting in another state went into meeting with approximately 200 people in the room. Pres ask why we were late
.
Alien abduction

Everybody laughed and we got away with it.

Just recently, on the way out the door, pushed a large glass bottle of olive oil onto the tile floor. To make it worse, I have dogs that would have licked up the oily shards.
Truly the worst mess Ever, and dangerously slippery too. Oh, and the grout sucking up the oil was So helpful!

"I am late for a liver transplant" he told the officer who stopped him for speeding. The problem is, it was true. I wasn't an excuse.

I can never think of these things on the spot. Not really sure of any crazy excuses I've heard, I'm sure I've given a few though! XD

A freak accident involving a toaster, hippo, and a bag of frozen peas. You don't want to know the details.

I was looking after my friends sons hamster, whilst they were all away on holiday. The hamster got loose and chewed though the wire of my alarm clock and electrocuted itself. I then had to go to a pet shop and find a lookalike replacement for the hamster.

I was at the shopping mall and forgot where my car was.

"Yeah but I'm still early for tomorrow"

I got high

<Smug mode>
I've worked from home for myself for 15 years now. Never late as I manage my own time.
</Smug mode>

Two of them from the same friend--after a massive flood she sent her boss a photo of the street, which was under chest-high water. And after a huge snowfall she sent the same boss a photo of her car, buried under several feet of snow, with a small bit cleared off and the note 'This took an hour and a half.'

"Sorry, I was in Poland this morning" was a memorable one from a junior colleague recently.

The flying saucer that kidnapped me ran out of gas…

i had to kill a blind rabbit said i to my boss

Ship ran aground, Sir.

Someone smashed my car window and I had to file a police report and get the window fixed.

"It was dark, so instead of taking my blood pressure medication I took an opana."

He didn't last very long.

I'm not above calling out from the parking lot. But if I'm late I usually don't give an excuse. What's done is done.

I was late to work once becaise a cop rear ended me at a stop light... then he wanted me to just buff it out instead of calling his seargent which I was having none of.

My goat is kidding & I'm covered in goo.

Went to get a quick hike in!

I had said more than once.... if somebody was going to be late, it has to be me. I was never good at dates, I will get dress and hope she call and cancel so I will go somewhere else. I liked the Freedom to hunt more than the best date ever. That was me. I got caught a few times after breaking up a date... life in the hunting grounds.

I drank too much last night