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How would you judge a married man or woman

What would you say a married man or woman who are attracted towards opposite sex just after there two years of marriage.

Dushyant 4 July 22
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18 comments

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0

Why would I judge ?

0

I wouldn't judge them. I'd say it's pretty normal.

1

I had the opinion when I was married that if he didn't notice other women, that's when I'd worry. My thought was if he was fooling around with another woman, then he wouldn't notice or do a double take at a random woman in public.

For me it was whether he acted on it or not. Also I thought it was hilarious if I caught him check a woman out because he'd get so flustered. I was always like, dude, I notice hot men too. No big deal, we're married, not dead.

0

Getting married doesn't automatically render you asexual towards everyone but your spouse. Mentally, of course, we try to disassociate from our sexuality in all other contexts, with varying degrees of success, because there are certainly places you shouldn't go, even mentally, when you have made an exclusive life commitment to someone.

Personally I've had very little difficulty with it. But that doesn't mean I'm not aware at some level that some woman I happen upon is sexually attractive. As the saying goes, you can't prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. In other words, being a neutral observer of an idea doesn't mean you have to indulge it.

I think that some people are prone to "buyer's remorse" when some aspect of their relationship is less than perfect. If they are unwise, it's easy for them to imagine that this perfection is available in people other than their spouse, when on an overall basis, it's likely their spouse is no better or worse than any other person they could have chosen. The mature, committed response is to work on the relationship, to openly discuss and negotiate a better relationship. The immature, lazy response is to cheat -- mentally or outright.

0

Nothing wrong with attraction unless it leads to lying.

1

I would judge them at about a 6.2, or if they consentually act on it maybe a 8.7. Would be a 9.5, if they show a little more creativity and get a threesome with some same sex action goin on. To get a perfect 10 theyve gotta incorporate props and really stick the dismount.

1

Attraction to others doesn’t end just by putting a ring on it. Unless they are both ok with a poly relationship they need to commit to each other or separate.

If this is your situation please don’t have kids before sorting this out. 🙂

antman Level 7 July 23, 2018

Nice advise btw

0

well monogamy isn't for everybody besides it isn't like they're a robot. Being married doesn't stop you from being attracted to other people. i am a little confused by the context of this too. Is this a gay couple and one of them is possibly bi or something? because being attracted to the opposite sex is straight people. so besides the cheating what does it matter what the gender the other person is. ijs

0

I'd say if you love your spouse, stay far away from your attraction..it can't end good. Focus on the fella already in your life and try to move forward. He's worth it!

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I have been attracted to the opposite sex since l was 5, so who am l to judge?

0

You mean if they don't turn gay? Most men married to women and vice versa are attracted to the opposite sex. Marriage usually involves a commitment not to act on it with others.

MsAl Level 8 July 23, 2018
2

None of my or anybody else's business!!! "Judge"???????? Not happening!

0

I would judge them harshly. But that's me.

2

If they are married to someone of the opposite sex, then I sure hope they are attracted to people of the opposite sex or they wouldn't be attracted to their own spouse.

What exactly are you asking? People can be attracted to other people and admire the beauty, strength, grace...etc. of the human body without it being anything sordid or immoral.

@jlynn37 Reading comprehension is your friend. It very obviously says "People can be attracted to other people and admire the beauty, strength, grace...etc. of the human body without it being anything sordid or immoral."

OTHER PEOPLE. No gender designated.

My first sentence deals with the original question asked by the poster about someone attracted to the opposite sex/gender. If they are married to someone of the opposite sex/gender, then it is a good thing they are attracted to the opposite sex/gender.

Please don't put words in my mouth or make assumptions that aren't true. I have been an activist in the LGBT movement since the 1990s and even was the program director for an LGBT organization.

When people don't take the time to read and comprehend what is actually written, it leads to false claims and lies being propagated. Don't start drama.

@jlynn37 I didn't get that at all in her comment. I interpreted that being attracted is perfectly okay and normal, but that attraction doesn't necessarily mean the person attracted has cheating (the sordid and immoral) in mind.

@jlynn37, @SkotlandSkye I think it was an honest mistake. He is arguably the least [intentionally] offensive and drama seeking member we have.

@BlueWave he may be...but in this case, he didn't take the time to read/comprehend before he made assumptions and attacked my basic character. That is totally not cool.

@jlynn37 your implication that I am in someway against same sex relationships was indeed an attack on who I am...attempting to characterize me in such a manner was indeed offensive. I'm glad you have taken the time to read what I actually wrote now. Apology accepted for that.

1

I would say absolutely nothing as it would be none of my business and of no concern of mine. You do you, I do me and let's strive to do or cause no harm.

3

I wouldn't "judge" either. For one thing, I have no idea what's going on within their relationship, and any attempt to judge would be completely wrong.
Further, being attracted to the opposite sex means nothing. Being married doesn't prevent further "attraction". Believing it does, or should, is unrealistic.

3

Observations mean nothing to me. We are ALL human and there are plenty of fine-ass humans out there of which to be attracted.

The intent and/or action that may or may not follow the observation is what makes the difference.

I like your "fine-ass humans" comment.

2

nothing not my place besides we are all attracted to different people whether we are married or single

weeman Level 7 July 23, 2018
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