1. You are not separated.
2. Leaving would be highly preferable to taking actions, such as pouring out his alcohol, thus intentionally triggering a "shit storm." If you were truly separated, doing this wouldn't even be an option.
3. You are tired of being a "victim," yet you stay in the same house and do things intentionally to trigger him? How does that work?
4. You want to expose him to all the people who love him ... why? To stop it? That won't stop it. That simply pulls them into the drama, and you may not like how that turns out. Just leave.

The only push you need is to push yourself to get out of the house and file for divorce. Living in the same house is NOT separated. Separated, by definition, precludes living under the same roof.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that what he is doing is okay. I don't know what else he might be doing, other than drinking. But that, in itself, is justification to leave. If he is truly abusive, that's all the more reason to stop dragging it out. As far as your daughters are concerned, leaving, standing on your own two feet, and giving them an example of a strong woman who isn't going to take any shit is far better than having them witness you putting up with the situation.

I would recommend quietly resolving the situation by getting away from it and leaving the drama off of social media. Nobody likes a drama queen, especially when the drama is partially self-inflicted.

Just my $0.02. Good luck!!

I worry about your safety @GeekLeen. You need to get him out asap. Get a restraining order. If he assaulted you press charges. Facebook should come last. Been there done that. Contact an abuse help-line.

I think I'd be cautious about making anything public. Although he probably deserves being outed as an abusive drunk, I'm unsure that will help your situation. I think the other things you're doing are good — keeping a record of what's going on, documenting evidence of his behavior — and that will serve you well if this every goes to court and you need proof of excessive drinking, abuse, and so on. But making public statements could work against you, and he could claim that you've attacked him, spread lies about him, undermined his career, poisoned his relationship with his children, etc. You definitely want to protect yourself against anything that might come back on you as an instigator or antagonistic party.

I wouldn't start a war with someone I live with. I would make a plan to get out of there. You have no idea how ugly things can get.

Get your kids and animals and clothing and food and leave to your family as soon as possible. A drunk expects a drink when they get home. You changed things up for him that he aint going to like. Leave and find an Alanon group and members to talk to. They will guide you through a process. Check for a group where your family lives.

Doing what you are indicating generally leads to an explosion and the results of explosions are rarely anything close to pretty. I suggest you settle down a bit and take careful stock of your situation. Look into what is available in health and social services in your immediate area. Check to see if there are safe houses in the area. When you are sure you can make a safe getaway, get out and don't try to contact him in any way. Just make sure all your little ducks are in a row before you do anything, because any hesitancy or overlooked detail can and will jump up to bite you.

After you're out, seek professional help/counseling and legal help. Do exactly what they tell you and do nothing on your own. Just make sure you get all the help you can possibly get first. You can set up most of this pretty fast, so get a move on.

I only have 69 ‘friends on FB. Most are family. But I only post to 18 people. (You can set up different filters to only share with who you want to) I am very open on there. I say whatever I want. Out whomever I will. It sounds like he is the one who’d be embarrassed. The truth shall (almost always) set you free.

I am not afraid to get people help. He needs help, but more importantly—you do. There are great support groups on FB. Find a couple.

Why are you still living there?

You poured his alcohol away... run... seriously, run...

I got a restraining order on an ex co-worker whom raped me. Right after I had opened up to him about my ex just having raped me. The ex co-worker violated my restraining order, so I put him in jail for 7 months. My witnesses bailed on me and his parole officer did too. He was able to walk instead of prison time. Idk where he is now? I haven't seen him in over 1 year. Good.

How about if you just move out? If you do all that you describe, you will come across as manipulative in a court. Alcoholism is considered a disease & all he would have to do to get sympathy is say, "I need help".

And do NOT fool yourselves Women can and often are Abusers of men as well. I know this for a very personal FACT.

Leave, get out, get away. Take your kids and go. Preferable where he can't find you. Here we have women's refuges and safe places for abused women to go, they are a top priority, hopefully you have access to something similar. Then by all means expose him later, preferably through the courts.

SURE DO !! the sooner these abusers are exposed the less abuse should occur in the future. How many lives have been shattered by these retards ? Some abuse occurs over a number of years before the abuser is exposed. For any person who is currently affected, ACT NOW and end the nightmare.....

You need to pack your things and leave. The abuse will never stop unless you stop it. I remember two cases that I worked back in 1990 and 1991 as a police officer. The first one, the woman kept getting abused, but refused to file charges against her husband because it would ruin his reputation. the neighbors kept calling and each time the police responded to that house, she refused to press charges. He finally killed her a few years later. The second one was the same and she refused to press charges. Finally she committed suicide rather than live in that abusive marriage. the laws were changed soon around that time, and if there was any sign of abuse, someone went to jail whether or not the victim wanted to press charges or not. Call the police so that there is a document of the abuse. it will help you in court. GET OUT OF THERE.

I believe all abusers should be expossed by the law.

I don't use Facebook much at all and when I do it's after I receive a notification by email. A lot of it has to do with my generation, I'm 68. I have no problem with people using FB. Two of my 3 children use it daily. I do believe that public humiliation among one's peers is terrible and is one of the downsides of social media. It is far to easy to have a disagreement with someone and trash them online.

The strength of righteous action is that it rights wrongs. He will need to have justice wrought upon him. Yes. He will suffer. But he will heal, as you must.

Its your choice . So long as its true and u know indeed it is him then i guess it maybe ok . But as i said only if its true. I once had someone hack my fb and i guess say somethinv racial to someone and they posted it online . I was devastated . I tried telling that person it was not me and they just assumed i was a liar. I did not even know this person. Anyone can log on to anyones fb and say they are someone they are not. So be sure it is actually them. But u say u know this person personally ? So i guess its ok . But at the end of the day what does it accomplish ? Call the police if u really want something to happen to him

Get the he...k out of the house...NOW. You don't know when he will snap all the way and kill you and the kids.
Somebody said he doesn't need "ruination" but help. Well, my dear, let somebody else help him. You come first

LEAVE NOW...!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, definitely because doing so should, hopefully, prevent some other person from becoming the next victim.

I really think that @IndySent was the best answer here. It's about being safe FIRST! That, and making sure your daughters are protected.

One of the ways I council young gay people (preteens or teens) who are living in toxic religious environments is to come out carefully. Come out to someone they trust. A friend or relative. Come out to someone who can take them in if their family erupts and they find themselves ostracized, or worse, in physical danger. Sometimes confrontation seems cathartic, but I've rarely seen it work out, and it usually leads to some significant flareups before things settle down... or worse, it backfires.

Exposing an abuser takes courage as women who have done so are criticized for doing so

Yes

Since he has a history of being abusive, you shouldn't do anything to provoke him. Find a way to get yourself and your kids away from him. Do not share your story on social media while you still live in the same house.
If you choose to share your story in the future, once you are in a safe place away from your husband and any chance of retribution has been diminished, that is your prerogative. But please be careful about it.

I kinda think it’s a bit pointless as nothing really happens to the abuser . I’d much rather the person who is getting abused get proper help from the police and get the person punished properly . Too many people are now getting exposed in social media and nothing of worth ever comes from it I.e all these celebrities just lie low for a bit then carry on with their lives as if nothing happened . Think what I’m trying to say is the authorities need to pull their finger out and do a better job at supporting victims