Have any of you been able to maintain a close friendship with anyone who is still actively a part of your former religion/church?
Friendly, yes. I have few friends and none are, or have been, believers.
Pareto's rule gets applied to everything with me. 20% of the people I know give me 80% of my social headaches in life. I find out what is consistent between those people and remove it from my life. Oddly enough, it isn't religiosity that is the common factor. It's a lack of respect for my autonomy. Sometimes, those people are religious - sometimes not.
I wouldn't say I am super close but I have stayed in touch with 2 people from back in my fundie evangelical days. They are just 2 beautiful people we had kids at the same, so we have a bit of a connection.
Yes, I guess I have, however, the relationships have become much more shallow.
Not unexpected, given that while we were going through our transition away from a religion-focused worldview we retreated from church attendance for a year and a half before we started talking (somewhat) openly about our doubts and lack of beliefs, but we have attempted to reconnect with some former close church friends a couple of times and usually get the “we’re busy then but let’s see if we can try again soon” treatment. Frustrating but ultimately it’s their choice, and they have been trained to try to avoid spending too much time with unbelievers so their beliefs aren’t challenged too much.