Damn only one...never smoke ciggs really...

Visit your mother's ancestors in Norway and don't come back.

Remember when you were more interested on basketball than piano lessons? Never mind that one... Remember the poem dedicated to your favorite kitten? Your wife going to find it and you won't be around to defend yourself, so while you are at sea, she will be talking to lawyers. Destroy all copies in Crete... NOW!!! Hold on, hold on because of the legal separation you will take orders to Germany there you will have an Arian girlfriend 3 inches taller than you... and your favorite kitten will visit you from Denmark and then you will divorce, give her the house and retire and dance around all Baltimore and DC and there will be the Russian, The Ukrainian and the Gringa Salsera Miss "L", and there will be Jacksonville and Vegas and a website Agnostic.com were you will connect with your SoulMate and Witness to The Rest of Your Life... so Remember when you were more interested on basketball than piano lessons?

Take the blue pill

I would say, "You know how you keep planning to run away from home and never come back? Next time do it!"

Have fun and take it even more to the extreme. push the envelope even farther.

Don't Do It , Its a Trap!

Quit going along to get along. No one else cares.

Escape home at like 7 years old.

Don't listen to old people.

Empty out that bag of fucks. Ask her out. Dance more. Meditate daily.

Have more fun and worry less.

Don't leave Canada.

Boys have cooties.

I would go back to the time before I met my first real ex girlfriend and tell myself that I would be 300% happier with a sex flesh pocket pussy, I would have completed my 2-year after skipping my second ex.... If I really think about it, I’m just glad I’m in good health and have a beautiful little boy, I couldn’t really want to change all that.

Stay the fuck away from all women named Amy they will destroy you.

Live every day to it’s fullest; life goes by so very fast, and this life is all you will ever have.

Invest in Microsoft and avoid Enron

YOU COUNT! LISTEN TO YOURSELF FIRST! Maybe I would have held out for someone who actually loved me.

If religion must exist (generally to teach people who can't work morals out for themselves) why don't they realize they all preach the same stuff and just because their gods have different names surely they are all the same. Religious wars would cease.

Plastics.

Do not get married! Ever!

Live in the city where there are jobs, transportation and more diverse people to choose from. Don"t ever start smoking cigarettes.

Don't take out that mortgage to buy that house. Put a down payment on some land and take a house some guy no longer wants.