Ms Brown's boys

Forgot to mention in TRUE British style and being an actor. I have filmed the first TWO SCENES of my own comedy 'Ivan's guide to mother russia'

To demonstrate I will provide a few Extracts from the scripts that creep out form my warped and Diseased imagination

I have also dropped some nice easter eggs into the script -sending up popular films

Please be aware I have to compose some parts of the script in Pigeon English so my actors can get the accent correct.

IVAN’S GUIDE TO MOTHER RUSSIA
BRATVA CAPTAIN- SCENE FOUR

BRATVA Captain
“No Mr Blonde we expect you to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
(Bratva Captain turns to his other henchman and says
“Komrad Fluffy, Release the dark-Sukha-bitch-vixen-mistress of hell cats .......... SPASEEBOH”
Komrad Fluffy
”But Senior... komrad, we have no need for extreme measures, he will talk.....eventually. “
“Personally I would rather be water boarded by a rabid-horny octopus, whilst Russian Spy Anna
Chapman smears peanut butter on my balls and ice-skating fire ants dance the bolero on my hot erect
nipples..............................”
Komrad Fluffy looks off into the distance whilst smiling at the thought of the scene he just spoke
of...........
He suddenly turns around and notices everyone looking at him (as though to say what the hell)-even
the prisoner Mr Blonde......He then shakes his head to clear the fantasy going on there.
Errrrm.........
“Release the dark Sukha-bitch-vixen-mistress of hell-cats!!”

Bratva captain picks up the phone.
Bratva Captain
““Pre-vee-et this is Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanov enterprises; wodka, mind-altering airwaves
and election fixing Russian hackers a specialty how may I assist?”
Note to director the screen splits in half showing two callers speaking with each
other on the phone.
Samara from the RING
“Seven Seconds”
Bratva Captain
“What?”
Samara from the RING
“Seven Seconds”
Bratva Captain
“....But it used to be seven days”
Samara from the RING
“Budget Cutbacks and problems with the Unions you know the score”

moving on in the script

The Bratva Captain’s wife presses play on the tape recorder. All one hears at this
point is weird sounds as though it is the ring and then suddenly RICK Astley plays
from the recorder singing NEVER going to give you up.........
All of a sudden Mr Blonde Starts screaming as blood starts running from his noseeyes
nostrils and mostly his ears. He screams:
Mr Blonde
“NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Camera then focuses on the heart monitor which slows down and then flat lines
...(erstwhile the music is still playing)
Here it shows wife, bratva captain, hell-vixen, Komrad Cuddles and Fluffy all
dancing to Rick Astleyand smiling as they cannot hear anything
Mr Cuddles shouts out loud in the most CAMP voice ever!
Komrad Cuddles
“Work it baby…………..WORK IIIIIIIT!!!”
Camera then focuses entirely on the Bratva captain and all we hear in the
background is a very loud wet squelch as though Mr Blonde’s head has just
exploded.
All of sudden a great big gout of blood covers the Bratva captain’s face and upper
shoulders and he stands there still with eyes closed in shock.
Camera pulls out to a medium shot of Captain and wife
Bratva captain’s wife reaches over and presses’ stop on the stereo player, whilst
looking nervously at her husband.
Camera closes upon Bratva captain as he slowly wipes the bloody from one eye (but
keeps it closed) then does the same to the other. He then tastes blood in his mouth
and slowly exclaims
Bratva Captain
“Needs more salt”
He then opens his eyes, looks wildly to his left and right then centre a few times and
all he sees a kaleidoscope of images of everyone laughing at him complete with his
8
mother screaming.....” THEY ARE All going to laugh at you they are all going to
laugh at you” (Carrie piss take here)
Camera then focuses onto the Bratva Captain’s wife as she wipes off a splash of
blood from her top on the breast area.
Bratva Captain’s Wife
“I think I have some of Mr Blonde on my Dirty pillows”
EVERYONE apart from Bratva Captain and Wife
Everyone then shouts
“They are called Breasts Momma……. Breasts!!”
All of a sudden the door opens and in walk the Bratva captain’s mother dressed in a
cleaning outfit. She walks in and sees the blood all over the place
Bratva Captain’s mother
“Oh you boys....... you are so messy and untidy I have no clue on what to do with
you”
She then pulls out a feather duster and a bottle of pledge and tried to polish the
blood away with her feather duster.................
Scene fades to black...........

Anyway to prove I'm not having you on or blowing smoke up your bums (as you folks say over the pond) here are some photos of me being PHOTOBOMBED by Samara (the ring paraody part of the script)

Well most of our comedy is good, after all it is one of our exports haha
The It crowd, black adder and Red Dwarf are awesome.

Benny Hill, Fawlty Towers, the orginal Hitchhikers Guide tv series..AbFab..that's not all, just can't remember them all..

Now look, I came here for an ARGUMENT!
This is just contradiction!

Where do I start.... Allo Allo Allo, Absolutely Fabulous, Monty Python, The Young Ones, The Office, The Inbetweeners, Miranda, can't forget Mr Bean...

Is anyone else a fan of "Are You Being Served"?

I have enjoyed most English comedians but for a laugh a second, [ with no subjects or swearing barred ! ] ............Try the Australian Jim Jefferies.

Loved coupling and IT People, given work, it probably hits closer to home.

An old one but a goody: Mrs. Brown's Boys. You can find them on Youtube. Hilarious!!

If you can, give "Detectorists" a go - it's very British and absolute genius.

It's 3:22 AM. Just heard a series of bangs . I think they're gunshots , to the west of my home . Not real close . I'd guess several blocks away , minimum . Just heard 43 more ,"shots.." What's going on ? I know this isn't the place to post this , it just happened to be where I was , when the , "shots ," started .

Mr. Bean

Father Brown , Red Dwarf , Robot Battles , Dr Who ,

Doc Martin is hilarious!

Monty Python and the holy grail .
Fawlty Towers.
Benny Hill.
Father Ted
Vicar of Dibley
Jasper carrott.
The Lavender HIll Mob
Kind Hearts and Coronets.

There is a new contender for dark comedy: Norway. There is a TV series that is filmed with both an English and a Norwegian soundtrack called Norsemen in the English speaking version. Many of the same crew were also in Lillyhammer which was mixed English and Norwegian. It is available on Netflix.

Going to be honest a lot of it is as bad as US sit coms, despite PBS acting so smug. Python, Fawity Towers were some of the greatest TV ever made and spoiled us. Things like Black Adder were almost as good and the final scene was stunning. most of it is ok. They replaced Chef with open all night again and I was starting to like Ch

Going to be honest a lot of it is as bad as US sit coms, despite PBS acting so smug. Python, Fawity Towers were some of the greatest TV ever made and spoiled us. Things like Black Adder were almost as good and the final scene was stunning. most of it is ok. They replaced Chef with open all night again and I was starting to like Ch

I LOVE them! Mrs. Brown's Boys, Keeping Up Appearances, Are You Being Served, the Catherine Tate show. I could go on and on.

Besides British comedy, they do the news well also. I liked, Are you being served, Waiting for God, Last of the summer wine.... But there are American comedies, maybe not presented in the British style, that are "funny": Barny Miller, Night Court. Yes, there are some American 'comedies' that lack 'any' humour and that grind on the nerves. There is the laugh tape though; it comes on for the convenience of the unindoctrinated, so they will know that they were supposed to laugh at the last mindless blurt.

"Coupling" is one of my favorite britcoms of all time. I tell friends all the time it's everything "Friends" should have been.

"Black Books" is another great one. My only complaint was that it wasn't longer.

Dave Allen at Large. One race joke & PBS pulled the show. Liberal left wing tyranny.
Canada & The UK have the best shows & I am proudly biased in their favor. Less explosions, less manly men doing manly things to other men ie explosions. Better dialog. Words matter. Sentence structure matters. Costumes. Less explosions. Ranging from silly to sophisticated, the Brits are masters. What is wrong with the US? Our men are fascinated by Explosions!!!!

its the best but maybe I'm biased as im English. love married with children.

There will never be an equal to Monte Python for humor outside the Trump administration.