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Is it harder for non-believers to find love?

Ronaldo 3 Nov 19
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38 comments

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1

it has always been hard for me to find love -- until i did, that is! but religion or lack thereof was never a issue at all. i suppose it depends on your life situation, where you live, what if any religious background you have, all that. i couldn't generalize. i doubt anyone is in a position to answer this question accurately other than for themselves.

g

11

It depends on how tolerant you are to theists. If you choose to date non believers, the pool is smaller. I meet many people but they end being theists and/or trumpsters. I’m not going down either of those paths.

10

Absolutely! In my experience believers tend to begin relationships that they might not be fully confident in simply because they believe it is a "good match" i.e. pleasing to their church community or to god. Also, their dating pool is considerably larger to behind with. So we have fewer people to work with and higher standards; which has to translate to diminished opportunity.

Ambir Level 3 Nov 19, 2018

Unfortunately true

9

Yes. I believe it is. Our culture is so mired in religiosity that even those who identify as Christian but do not consider themselves religious distrust us heathens.

So true. I am shocked by many people who call themselves "Christians" or religious. And they are shocked that I am not!

7

No matter what they say, they're all non-believers.
If they really believed the Bible and obeyed it, they'd stone their kids for talking back, stone family members for picking up anything on Saturday, all the women would wear veils, not talk in church, and stay home obeying their husbands, LOL!

Also if "God" is really "controlling" everything, why should they lock their cars, pay insurance, or go to the doctor, since they wouldn't want to thwart "God's will."

Mostly, religious people attend church out of fear of hell, or disapproval. They feel forced to "love God" or they think they might burn in hell.

7

It probably depends upon where you live.

7

Well, nonbelivers are less likely to delude themselves about things that aren't real. I am nto sayign love is nto real, because love is real. I am sayign that a lot of peopel delude themselves about the person they want to love, giving them (in their minds) attributes which are not real.

So, yes love is harder to find for nonbelievers, but when it is found, it is based more on realities than self delucions.

Agreed

7

For me as mature lady is difficult to find a romance with a mature man. Because of my expectations of a romantic relationship. Religious men approached to me but I don't have the patience to deal with their religion. So I'm still searching for that special human being.

How true

Hang on in there, girl! Don’t sell yourself short. It’s not worth it. Better to be alone on your own than alone with someone else!

After many years of searching I found that perfect love, the love of me!!!
This is what was missing in my search, Not knowing who I really am allowed me to compromise on some very bad decisions. Now I know what it is and perhaps will find it.

Ditto!

5

In my life, I have had a loving relationship with 7 men. Only 1 of them shared my view regarding religion. I think overcoming serious political differences would prove more difficult. I have never found myself falling for someone with a conservative point of view - no foundation for friendship there...

ledj Level 4 Dec 6, 2018
5

Real love or the type of love that last until we find the truth? AS an atheist a real love is one where we share our lives and have very similar values. Falling in love with a spiritual ideology is just temporary

EMC2 Level 8 Nov 28, 2018
5

The dating pool is smaller so in my opinion, yes

not everyone finds love via dating (much less a dating site). i didn't. i found it quite by accident!

g

4

I think that depends on where you live. I can honestly count on one hand, the number of people with whom I work and live that express any sort of religious beliefs. Canada is a very secular country compared to the US. There are regional exceptions of course, but we would have no problems electing an atheist head of state, in fact I have no idea what -if any - religious affiliation our current PM may have.

4

One thing usually follows another. I find religious men are also rather conservative / traditional men that would be turned off by a free thinker/ atheist or agnostic.

4

Well yeah dating can be hard as a non believer , it all depends on where you are really. Smaller towns have less freethinkers I assume , bigger town will probably lead to better results.

I agree. I live in a small town. Majority of Life revolves around church and the local school

4

From what I hear about the religious, I gather they have a much easier time to get married. Real love, though, that's different.

The best couple I know are unbelievers. Met as teens, never got married, two kids, happily growing old together.
A natural, beautiful connection between equals - unstained by superstitious nonsense and archaic gender-role brainrot.

Usually the church will help find a spouse for marriage. They rarely have to be unmarried for long

3

I am currently subscribed to an online dating/matching service, and I keep finding (or are sent info regarding) interesting men. Once I discard those who do not meet my strict criteria, there really are NOT a whole lot of men available I wish to consider. My criteria includes an age-range, non-smoking, and non-religious. The non-religious aspect strikes off the majority of eligible men, interestingly enough. Yes, I think it is more difficult to find love (or even a really strong "like"!) if being a non-believer is important. And it is incredibly important to me!

Awhile back I was discussing with my daughter a man who had been emailing me... He seemed interesting (and who does not enjoy being wooed?!?), but when I mentioned that he was christian, my daughter quickly said "Oh Mother," (and I can hear her eye-roll over the phone!) "you CANNOT date him." She is correct, and I appreciated that she understands the dilemma and that she is interested in my well-being, and probably the success of the endeavor!

3

I'm old so I haven't dated in a decade but when I was dating being married seemed to be bummer number one. Between my looks or lack thereof, the count of my teeth, the subject of my art, my habits including alcoholism, atheism barely made the top ten.

3

I think so there are alot less non believers then believers . Most religions teach people that non believers are evil and work for the devil so I believe that alot of non believers wouldn't date alot of non believers

3

Many churches create opportunities for single people to meet and encourage relationships. Not sure if they find love, but it could happen. Non believers have to find their own way.

3

The love part is just like for everyone else. Depending on where you are, however, sometimes just finding each other can be a challenge.

3

I have never had a problem finding love due to my atheism.

Today nearly three-quarters of adult American men are obese or overweight (and 60 percent of women.) I want a fit, active man who shares my healthy lifestyle.

I am told that i am too skinny. I'm 60 and look 50. 40 and looking 60 seems to be the physical ideal here...LOL

@twill

All my life, I have been mocked for being "too skinny."

My middle finger is twitching.

As a caption for this photo, I wrote:

"Fit is the new sexy," Shape magazine says. I'm finally "in." Sept. 2017

@twill

You look great!

@LiterateHiker Thank you LH! I feel good too! And btw....you look great yourself. U R in shape, not too skinny at all.

@twill

Thank you! Hugs.

Your gorgeous. Keep being yourself!

3

Nobody sends me love letters through this website

2

Find someone we can love?... No.
Find someone who can love us back?.... Yes...

2

Yes, it is a little harder to find love as non believer for some people. For me it's equally hard when I was a believer and now as non believer. Non believer use there head more than fairy tales or pants. Hopefully, I will find it some day.

2

If your stuck on finding another non believer I’d say definitely yes especially here in Oklahoma as open atheist people are very rare.

I'm in Central Florida for the winter and I just don't even bother! I'll be back in Chicago in the spring where every other vehicle on the road isn't a pickup truck with a "Jesus loves the NRA" bumpersticker.

@DeStijl I’ve never saw a Jesus loves the NRA bumper sticker and I’m a life member of the NRA and also an atheist.

@Trajan61 It's called sarcasm.

@DeStijl ??? Ok

@Trajan61 I am surrounded by Evangelical Christians for whom the most important things in their lives are Jesus and their guns. And probably their extremely jacked-up pickup trucks.

@DeStijl Not all of us pickup drivers and gun owners are religous nuts. Most of the religous people I know are not the pushy type, however the ones who are, are a pain in the ass.

@Trajan61 I saw this recently in Port Orange Florida and I deemed it a pickup truck unicorn---

@DeStijl ??? Yes I supposed you could call it that.

2

It depends on where you live. I live in a large, liberal, urban city with a large state university, so it's more unusual to find someone who is a practicing believer than it is to find someone who isn't. Or, if you meet someone here who says that they are Baptist, Catholic, whatever, they 1) haven't actually gone to church since they were kids; 2) only go to church on holidays to appease their families.

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