If you have a will, make it clear that anyone who ignores your wishes will be cut out of any inheritance. That might make a difference. If you have made pre-arrangements, make sure the funeral home knows of your wishes and that you are adamant that there be no religious connotations whatsoever.
Beyond that, all you can do is say what you want to happen. Can't really do too much to control what other people are going to do.

well like a friend of mine I am not having a service at all. so much cheaper and no bullshit. if I had my way we would be recycled into fertiliser. the moment I hear of someone I know dying I feel how I'm going to feel right then.as the law in England stands to be put anywhere but a graveyard which is a waste of space you got to be cremated. I planted a couple of weeping willow trees a while back near a river I played at as a child. I'm going to get just one person to sprinkle my ashes around the trees so I directly help nature.if I have anything of value it will go to help animals too.

Interesting. Maybe I should put in my will that if one prayer or bible verse is uttered, every cent will go to the Church of Satan.

We have a funeral director here on this site . I'm sure she could give you the details . Look her up under @Funeralgirl .

My family knows I don't want any of that shit. I want to be creamated and then an open house with my fav music playing. That's it.

I really like the idea of attending my own funeral. Screw saving goodbyes for after the time has come, my old ass is going to want to party like it's 1994!

I think we call them wakes. No religion. No magic saving of a "soul" after death.

I dunno. I don't even believe in funerals.
Why not do cremation, turn the ashes into jewelry, etc., then throw a party to celebrate the person's life?

Even better, have the party before the person dies, if the end is near and they feel up to it.

In the UK you can have a totally secular/non religious funeral if you so choose. You have a celebrant who conducts the event and it includes what you want. I guess a relative could try and totally change things but you can leave clear instructions that nobody has the authority to change anything. I would hope that nobody would interfere and add anything religious to my funeral as this would make any celebration totally meaningless

I've thought about this too. I think the short answer is there's nothing you can do about it. All of it is for those left behind.

About 10 years ago, I was attending a funeral that was projecting lots of photos. Well it got me thinking. I can envision my pre-death filming, talking to members of my family, reminding them of all the great times in our lives, cracking a few jokes, (like the last laugh).
So...
If I wanted to be very specific about what I wanted and didn't want in my funeral, this would be the perfect place.

I wouldn't expend any time or emotion worrying about it. People who need a religion/placebo to get through their day are coping. I can feel sorry for them.
For me, needing to cope, isn't religion.

Well, I suppose the best part of one's own funeral is that you won't know. You are dead. You are gone. You will never know.

You could do as I have done and signed the necessary documents leaving your remains to science ....,no funeral at all. Not that I,ll care much anyway.

You need to appoint someone as your executor that you TRUST. Ive seen the wishes of the deceased go out the window after death because the dead have no rights. Make a will, and make the executor of that will, someone who won't be swayed by anything or anyone. Pre arrange with the local funeral home as well. You can Pre pay for the service of your choice ( Basic cremation with NO memorial service is the way to go) This way, its paid for and if the family want to do something on their own, they are literally "on their own" You can even designate who gets your ashes, put that in your will. Your executor (choose wisely, I would choose a lawyer) will follow your wishes. if you want the ashes put in a cemetery, (an earth burial of the ashes, or in a niche (in a place in a wall) pay for that in advance with the cemetery, and have the ashes interred by the cemetery immediately after cremation. Set this all up, start with the funeral home, they will be able to advise you on all of it.

I'm not planning on have a body left over to bury/cremate so no funeral at all. It's going to medical research - if it's in good enough nick anyway. I've done the forms & it's in my will.
But maybe there'll be a celebration of my short time here - maybe not. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

Easy to fix. Include in your will that if religion is infused into your funeral all of your assets go to your favorite charity. I bet no one would deny your wishes then.

I know a family who lost a loved one. He knew he was doing and told his wife what he wanted. His mother decided that he should have a religious memorial anyway. I don't know how you can guarantee your wishes will be fulfilled.

I might just have the kids tell folk that my chance of making it through the pearly gates was scuppered by the short attention span of a lady on the 901 bus. She started the conversation by commenting on the shine of my shoes. So I knew she was a discriminating person. She then said that she would tell me the answers to all the questions that St. Peter will ask. Unfortunately, she got distracted and didn't return to crucial topic before we reached my stop.

Will everything to a cat* charity if anyone utters anything religious at the ceremony.

• insert oddball charity of choice

And I don't see why a properly witnessed will couldn't be enforced (in the UK at least)

honestly no. It is always going to depend on what the living decide. No funeral director wants to deal with some crazed relative harassing him because he didnt let a bible passage be recited. How would he even enforce it? Kick people out?

Sorry, but look on the bright side: it is not like you will know if it happens.

Maybe hold funeral in a place that would be offensive to most religious people.

I am hoping my death wont' even have a funeral.

The thing you can do is to have an executor of your last wishes with full power to deny and remove what is not deemed appropriate. According to your wishes... make a tape for the service and edit or redo as often you feel the need. Make a tape for those handling your affairs, so there is no margin for error or wrong interpretation of what you want included and what you don't want.