I always thought kissing was an affectionate way for couples to express their love, but I recently found out something about one of my best friends. She’s 29 and she recently came out and told me that she doesn’t have a problem with doing anything else that involves showing love, but for some strange reason French kissing absolutely terrify her to do because she hates it so much and it makes her feel disgusted, but she doesn’t understand why or seem to have any memory why she’d feel this way. All she know is there is a sudden rush of disgust if a man attempts to French kiss her and she immediately starts to feel uncomfortable. Any thoughts?
I mean, it does sound like there is something tied to it, but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. It takes all types to make up the world. We also learn weird quirks because our brains aren't perfect learning machines. But, if it's not harming anyone, who cares?
It's strange. I'd guess your friend suffers from some repressed childhood trauma.
I had a girlfriend who didn't like French kissing or receiving oral sex. When I realized it wasn't going to change, I broke up with her. She was vastly incompatible with me.
I've never run across anyone who didn't like French kissing before. Ever. Or heard anyone tell me they didn't like it.
But hey, there are lots of things people like and don't like. If you find a match, great.
I know. It’s strange indeed that she wouldn’t like it or dread the time when it was time for a kiss.
Check your breath.
Ok, I’ll be sure to tell her that.
I think french kissing and other kissing is about as up close and personal as you can get and I love great kissing and great passionate sex, however, there is no such thing as normal and humans are very diverse. some people don't like even being in each others space while others indulge in everything including dead people. I guess if your both consenting adults and you aren't bothering anyone else it's entirely up to the individuals what they do.
Hmmm. I love kissing. In a lot of ways it is more of an expression of love than the happy ending part. There are a lot of people who dislike touch, or sex as well. I like all of that, a lot, however I don’t care for okra or Lima beans. It’s all a matter of taste.
Is it just french kissing or does it carry over to oral sex?
Just French kissing.
@EmeraldJewel That is really something, eh?
@Dick_Martin yes. It makes me concerned for some reason.
It seems unusual to me. I assume that she has tried with multiple people? There's nothing worse than kissing someone with poor hygiene and/or technique.
'...sudden rush of disgust if a man attempts to French kiss her and she immediately starts to feel uncomfortable.'
Ok first time around - hated French kissing - was like "Eww no!".
It improved from there. And technique is important.
That being said though I've had men who just slobbered or tried to suck your tongue down their throat and that friggin' hurts!
It definitely adds to the experience when done right.
If someone had that as a hard limit - I think I could survive just fine.
How it squicks your friend may be telling.
Could be preference - could be bad French kissers - and could be a history of sexual abuse.
Hey, my last husband disliked BJ's, despite me being damned good at them....too squeamish for sex for almost 30 years, then he leaves me for a Porn star who digs animals as well as people...not really a surprise, if you think about it.........
Some people, it might just not be their thing. Some people may have encountered a few too many french kissers who didn't know what a toothbrush or floss were. Some could have experienced some rather traumatizing things in the process of "french kissing" and maybe she just doesn't want to talk about tht with you - perhaps after a few people viewing her as "damaged goods" after revealing that, or even worse, expecting either an extra skill set or being more willing to do various kinds of kink because they had done them before, even if forced to do it.
If it's not her thing for whatever reason, respect her boundaries. If it's that big of a deal to you, find someone whose thing that is. No need to, as it looks like some others have, be disparaging, judgmental, or even jump to conclusions.
In my world, when you kiss your lover during sex or foreplay there should be some tongue involved. It shouldn't be obnoxious, but seriously... French kissing is super arousing for me! If my sexual partner didn't want to French kiss i would have to assume she didn't really have sexual compatibility with me. So, my answer to your question is, yes, it is strange that someone wouldn't like French kissing with their lover. Very strange. Then again I have read posts from men here that they don't enjoy Fellatio (what many men refer to as THE gift). That also seems strange to me, in the sense that it's atypical. I guess it's about personal space. Hopefully in your friends case her aversion to French kissing isn't really just an aversion to sexual intimacy in general.
I used to feel the same way until a few years ago, when I realized I'm partially transmale.
The next time my ex kissed me, I thought of myself as a male kissing another male, and suddenly I was really into it.
For the first time in my life.