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Men: Serious relationship or no?

While getting ready for my aquatic physical therapy class this morning, I heard this on the radio station:


Question: Men, would you get into a serious relationship with a woman you've had sex with on your first date?


Most of the men answered, 'Yes'.

One of the men who answered 'Yes,' said he is currently going on a three-year relationship with the woman he slept with on their first date and are currently happy together.

One of the men who answered, 'No,' said so because he questioned whether or not the woman sleeps with other men on her first date. He added that he wouldn't feel "special" to her.

Another man said he got dumped by a woman because after several dates he hadn't initiated sex. She thought he was not into her, so she dumped him. He said he was "trying to be a gentleman." He admitted to having really liked her.


Personally, I think if two people feel passionate about each other, they should do what they feel right then-and-there without regret. I've not slept with a man on a first date, not because I didn't want to, but because they've all chosen to be gentlemen. I would, if he had chosen to and if I made it clear to him that I was attracted to him.

If I were to sleep with a guy on our first date, with whom I was able to build an emotional connection with prior to us having sex; (phone calls, shared common intetests, etc.) I would hope that he'd want a serious relationship with me. I do not share my most intimate feelings with just anyone. He certainly wouldn't be just anyone to me during or after sex.

If he wants to wait, ether way is fine with me.

SleeplessInTexas 8 Feb 11
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21 comments

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5

Um.............. what is sex again

I can't help you with that question as I can't remember. I do recall that there was an activity referred to as sex though.

2

I've been in relationships with women with whom I had sex on first dates 3 times. I don't see a problem with it. If she's had sex on the first date in the past; so have I.

JimG Level 8 Feb 11, 2019
2

Also don’t forget that just because we feel one way about a person it does not mean they feel the same.
I try not to over think it and go with the flow.

Take a step back and think about the guys response. It’s utter bullshit.
He’s willing to fuck her in the first date but then acts like she’s the slut totally ignoring his role in the act. He’s deferring from the fact he’s the problem not her but blames someone else to vindicate himself.

Total douche bag move
I’d be willing to bet that this same guy will call her a prude if he doesn’t get laid on the first date.

It absolutely works both ways, but this is more of a male thing.

Fucking and feelings are risky business. Do what ya want. It won’t likeky change the outcome. A guy like this is just looking for an accuse to keep fucking chicks and blame everyone e but himself as to why he’s single.

“I wouldn’t feel special”
Lolz

2

I agree. If I had already spent time getting to know her online, over multiple long conversations, then absolutely I'd have no qualms getting into a serious relationship with her.

If it was someone I had just met or barely knew then it's probably a more carnal/passion/heat of the moment thing then - and there's nothing wrong with that. But we'd still need to put in the time and effort getting to really know each other before getting serious, and if that happened great.

2

It could happen. Personally I wouldn't pursue a serious relationship until building a friendship and mutual respect. But, it is possible, especially at a mature age, that sex could come first.

2

That’s just a douche bag
Ignore his response

1

I think you have a wonderful attitude. I have always been and am still the guy that would be a gentleman and not have sex on the first date even if the woman wanted to or I was really attracted. More importantly, I would never expect sex on the first date. That's just the way I'm wired and I would not want to risk messing things up emotionally with me or the woman by jumping into bed on the first date. I'm more the shy, under-confident type about sex. So it would be more likely after a few dates at least.

1

I don't think there's any rule. Everybody is different. If a guy puts pressure on me to have sex too soon it's a deal-breaker he's done.

1

There's no set rule. I think it's different for each individual and also for each relationship. If it works for both people, that's all that matters. Personally, I need a solid connection with a man and a strong indication that it could become more serious in order to feel I could trust him enough to be physically vulnerable with him, but I would never say never to anything sooner if it felt right.

1

just go with the flow

1

The longest relationship that I've had was with a women I slept with before we ever went on together! It matters not it the least when you have sex with someone, if your into them or feel connected than it probably doesn't really matter. Will it work out in the end? It probably has just as much of a chance as any other relationship. Your going to have good times, bad times, boring times, exciting times, times when you agree, and times that you don't. The real question is how much your willing to allow for and how much your willing to work for.

1

No one size fits all. Each situation varies. Trust me, "hard and fast rules" on dating are a largely a sham. If you have chemistry, things can become physical immediately. Now if a guy bails because of that, he probably was never a candidate for a sustained relationship anyway. Sex between the sexes/partners should be on a level playing field.

1

The Gut doesn't lie~

1

If a woman wants to sleep with you she will let you know, I would not hold a first night against anyone I think, besides, electrifying sex is good for you, I have experienced this twice and did not regret a moment of it.

1

I've never understood men who don't want a relationship with a woman with whom he shared an intense physical connection on the first date. The rationale that he wouldn't feel "special" is just weird, and what's he afraid of? Once they're in an exclusive relationship, presumably she isn't with other men. Is he afraid of her cheating on him? How is waiting until the third date a better indication of fidelity in the long run? That's not to say that every physical encounter warrants a relationship; those are two very different things and have very different criteria. But it doesn't seem like it makes sense to eliminate the possibility of having a relationship on that basis, either.

1

No on both counts. I would not think about a serious relationship with a woman who was open to sex on a first date and I would not want to have sex with such a woman (I consider myself realistic not prudish). I would always be questioning her motivations and wondering if we had a disagreement where she might go.
With my late partner, we talked on the phone (a lot) for 2 months (she in TX and I in Seattle). This and for the first 1 1/2 weeks after we met sex was not discussed once. Turned out she had her reasons and I will not be the one to first bring it up. All of a sudden the barrier was crossed (but not with talk). It turned out to be the happiest and most wonderful relationship of my life. Sex is important but so are a lot of other things.

1

I say no just for the same reason that I told them women that i screwed around with during my first marriage that they’d never be my wife.

If you’re willing to give me what I want without committing to you then I’ll never trust and at some point you want trust me.

And also there’s people that you just have sex with and then there’s people that you establish a relationship with first.
Just saying that a poncho over a might be considered a form of shelter but you damn sure can’t live in it.

1

Been in a serious relationship for a year and a half now that started off with a 3-way, so you can never really rule anything out.

Sex is an important part of life and exploring that compatibility is also important.

That said, there are certainly a lot of men out there that lose respect if they're not made to work for it first. But do you really want to waste more time than necessary on those people?

1

Absolutely. It shows that she's as passionate and fearless as I am. That's exactly the kind of person I would want a long-term relationship with.

Not that I've been lucky enough to have the choice of saying yes or no, because first-date sex isn't something that's ever happened to me... but who knows what the future might bring.

0

That's a tough one. There is a perception of women who have sex on the first date as being promiscuous. A man may see that as a risk. It is our choice you know we get to have fun too. I make my own choice!

0

Thank you to everyone who answered my question.

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