You are not alone.........she is with you..

I love you so much right now!

Dude! You are not alone. Isolated childhood, estranged broken family, poorly socialized, imprinted by males, bonded to animals, urban alienation. A square peg in a round world. Peace.

Join the club-have a mother and sister that I am estranged from. Have 2 grown daughters. Have my own world tolive in-don't need anyone's approval. Nothing to keep me here- free spirit.

I understand your fears. I have my son, friends and my critters. Period. Both you and your potential in-laws have so much to gain! Most importantly, they want their child to be happy and loved. If you become part of their life, everyone's richer. You are intelligent and compassionate. Just be you. Take it slow. You are more than enough.

That made me tear up. I like the way you expressed those thoughts and feelings.

"Leaf in the In the Wind" nicely put. I haven't got family either and also feel slightly terrified when I get introduced to others'. You are not alone.

On the upside, you don't have to worry that your family will not "approve" of the lady of your choice.
That was always a problem with me, I got on better with my mother in law than I didn with my own family though. She always regarded me as the son they never had, long after I left their daughter.
Hope you find something similar, it was "nice" to experience some normality in regard to family life. My youngest brother left our family for his wife's when he was very young. He made the right move they are also great.

If she is a good woman who understands you, her family is likely to fall into the same category. And if her relatives are squirrelly, she will be the first to admit that to you. Don't think of it as having to share her with other people; think of it as finding a new family, albeit one that you don't share years of memories with. I'm single and alone and I would LOVE to find a man with a big family to have over for Christmas dinner; and then see them once a month the rest of the year.

After my divorce , when I began dating , a man once asked me what I was looking for . I told him , an orphan , because I didn't want to compete .

You're not alone in this. My family were abusive and even now, decades after I escaped, I'm still terribly uncomfortable around other people's relatives.

I must say, I felt so sad reading your post. I was uncertain as to what exactly you were attempting to tell us. It seems that you have an ache in your heart for someone to be with, but at the same time, you were not sure that you would be excepted by the people that would come along with your love relationship? If I am right on this...this seems way beyond anyone's imagination? The love that is waiting for you could be an orphan, herself! It seems that you are inviting more sad possibilities into your life? My thinking on this matter, if I have understood it correctly...is that you need to work on your healing, now. Don't wait for some special person to come and save you...from what you must save yourself from. It sounds like you have a lot of losses that need to be grieved...so that you can move with strength and confidence toward your better good and into the arms of someone that loves you for the man that you are! You are not...all the things that you don't have...you are a man with unlimited possibilities, some may as yet to be realized! In other words you are a work in progress! Isn't that what we all are? Maybe you could be more specific, with what you want and need?

Oh hon, I’m in the same boat. My very tiny family is across the globe and I feel your pain. I have subsided on rent-a-family for many years and what you feel resonates deeply. I have hard times understanding how easily people erase others from their lives, but I have lived through it....hugs! That’s all I can offer. For now. ????

However you interact with the family of others the big thing will be the family you choose as well as respecting loyalties other people have. The reasons for those may be things to consider but it won't be up to you to expect an instafamily and I imagine anyone who gets to seriously know you will respect that you don't have the same ties no matter how much (or how little) you may want them.

That you are trying to understand them may give you hope that they will be trying to understand you, even as they accept you and care for you.

Hugs.