It's the only way that makes sense! People rush into artificial intimacy not because they are in love with the other person, but because they are trying to use the person to fill an unmet need, usually validation. Sex is just sex and easily found, but a real connection takes time.

It seems like now-a-days, (that makes me feel old) relationships feel rushed. You're not crazy at all. Do what you gotta do.

No. This is actually the sound and rational way to proceed with a relationship.

Speaking from my own personal experience, I’ve found that women I’ve been involved with who were roughly between the ages of 35 and 45 were usually those most predisposed to rushing a relationship because they sensed a rapidly narrowing window in which to be able to have children.

After the children come, however, it’s a toss up as to whether or not such an impetuous affair would be able to endure in light of more practical considerations.

Sure, I guess you should be flattered if a woman would want to rush into a relationship with, of all people, you; however, proceed with both eyes open and realize that biological factors may be at play here which even she might not be fully aware of.

Lastly: To thine own self be true. You have to do what’s best for you.

I'm in a situation like that right now. Met someone a few months ago and we're taking it very slow: no idea where it's going to go but I like where we are and enjoying the experience. I know there's an attraction there and hope to see it grow.

That is honestly the best method I've had experience with in my life. Rushing screws it all up. Take your time to get to know someone. Let that appreciation, intimacy and beauty grow.

I dated my wife for five years. We have been married for forty four years. I say,"take it easy"

That's called respect.

Nope you aren't crazy.

Nothing wrong with how you think it should happen.

I would say that life is balance. If you go too slow, you could lose it. If you go too fast, then you could mess it up. If you're using the term "organically" as something that just falls into place, I don't think that's possible. In fact, the fact that you're taking it "slow" means you're cultivating it, even now. So I would try and strike a balance, make sure that your partner is tracking, otherwise, the point could be mute.

No, I feel that you fall in lust but grow love.

No-everyone is different.

Absolutely, you are not alone. I feel if a person is in a hurry, he can find someone else. Quality is worth waiting for and giving it your all. We live in a world of instant gratification and it seems so wrong. I compare this scenario to buying a book that you've heard great reviews about, but instead of reading the book starting at the beginning, you rush to the end and lose out on the best part which is the book in its totality.

Why would you ask it that way? Are you getting pushback from the other person, or are you concerned because of some other feeling of pressure? Maybe the best way is just to listen both to yourself (your feelings and reactions) and to the other person, and not worry about how fast or slow it actually is.

....but then there's chemistry

I’m the same way.

A good question. Years ago I ran across a study that defined a successful marriage as one that lasted 20 years or longer. They researchers studied many marriages and plotted how long a couple were in a relationship before getting married versus 20 year outcome of relationship. The result were a bell-curve with seven years being the optimal success rate. Less then six months and more then 14 years were equally bad. (I think 1.5% successful) I can’t find that study anywhere and that was many years ago so I am not sure of it’s accuracy as I did not check the source when I ran across the article.

Not at all. I have come to feel that someone whose top priority is a committed relationship from the get-go is likely not truly interested in me as a person, but only the parts of me that serve their goal and their ideal of what a relationship should be. Friendship is not a stepping-stone to a relationship or the lesser of two, it is everything. All of the most precious and worthwhile things in a relationship, the things that spark and sustain our faith in one another and the desire to keep spending time together can be found in true friendship--empathy, trust, loyalty, fun and humor, support for one another's passions, honoring one another's autonomy. Most of these things take serious time to grow strong and that should be honored. No shame in having mad feelings for each other, btw, just don't put the cart before the horse in terms of actions.

Not at all

That seems like a logical approach to

No, that's how I am. If I can't connect with the person I just feel like an object.

U sound afraid

Thank you all so very much. Well, most of you. Lol. I am not in a relationship at this moment but I've found since becoming single again that the women I attract are by and large holding an expectation of the speed of things. Either that it will disappoint me if it doesn't happen or it disappoints them and makes them think I'm disinterested. My last breakup, despite happening upon my will and decision, hurt me drastically. I'm just now after many months feeling as though I could start again. The abject failures in the interim certainly did not help though. I really liked one of those girls in question. She was pushing the issue silently with body language and moods. Our dates never allowed us time to get to know one another though. And due to that I wasn't interested in it. And if I forged on anyway it would have been disappointing on both ends. The first time sets the tone IMO. It should be incredible. And if you really start caring for someone in that way, let alone feel unlovable as I have, it will be incredible. That previous relationship ended with a fizzle due to me not taking the hint. I wouldn't do it over however. F***ing is for the young. In my mind I've always been an old man. I only have time for love making at this point in my life.

I would not think so. I do not see how they form without. One may have endless connections, mental and physical they would hardly qualify as relationships.

Unless your relationship is with an inflatable doll, it's all organic fast or slow.