I mostly use online dating and volunteering. I’m not into bars or clubbing. At some point, if it isn’t obvious I’ll ask about politics. I don’t care about someone else’s religious beliefs, just as long as they don’t force it down my throat.

Volunteer and be socially active. Like minded individuals usually gravitate towards like causes.

Pssh, I’m not even looking for a partner.

I hear you. I am in my late 30’s and dating for the first time in my life after divorcing someone i was with since high school. There are plenty of challenges in dating to start with, and I think that being an atheist seriously narrows the pool of potential partners. I just don’t think I could be compatible with someone who accepts blind faith over knowledge and evidence. And it’s not like that is my only criteria, either!

I'm the common denominator in all of my failed relationships. My struggle over the years has been in timing, I guess. Every time things seemed to be progressing to the point of romance (even so far as making plans to meet, in the case of some long-distance budding relationships) something would happen and she'd suddenly be dating someone new. I get it, life happens, but it happened a lot to me. I gave up trying. And now I don't really care. It's not especially important to me. If I meet someone, cool. If not, also cool.

I guess just trying to get out and do social activities is what I've been trying to do, but I'm too broke. I just usually ask basic questions like what do you do for work, favorite music, etc. I usually wouldn't ask about beliefs and politics until it I know it's going to get serious.

I think finding that person where the chemistry, and the mental repartee clicks is always a lottery. I have always been fairly outgoing and willing to start up a conversation, but still that spark is hard to come across especially when you have a few filters to get through.

I have always found it hard to a socially active person. My social contact was the bar scene, because the alcohol help to open me up. I gave up drinking, so there went that social contact. I've never thought of volunteering, I should try that. This is the first site I have ever commented on and put up a picture of myself. I have always shied away from pictures. This is a positive site for me, thank you.

Okay, I'm going to give you the Uncle Andy size-up & strategy.

You're going in ahead in points already -- The ink is a definite attractor and any guy is going to want to see the rest of the art.

Being in Eugene may make this a tough row to hoe. Have you considered carrying around a copy of Sometimes a Great Notion? A girl once steered me into picking her up at a lunch counter because we were both trying to catch the titles of the book the other one was reading.

But this gets us into selectivity; you've attracted a guy but you want to make sure he's on the same page as you. Be affirmative. Don't ask about beliefs, make positive statements about your own beliefs. Example: "Can you believe this story about :whatever preacher most recently got caught doing something stupid:? Some people are so dumb they'll believe anything as long as whoever is saying it has a good haircut and a voice-over voice and is surrounded by people who believe it already." If the guy bolts, you've saved yourself some time. If he comes back with "Yeah, there's been such a string of these idiots, I can't believe people still fall for it" then either (a) he's your man or he wants to see more ink and is willing to compromise his principles to do so. To choose which is more likely, (a) or , sprinkle your next lines with with some quotes from Wittgenstein and Kant and see how he reacts. Or better yet, if you look at him and say "Time is short" and he comes back with "the years are long" then that's a definite (a). Or go for broke -- start humming a G & S patter song, you know, out of nowhere just say "on a cloth untrue with a twisted cue and elliptical billiard balls" and see if he comes back with "The punishment fits the crime."

Now I'll let you in on some guy secrets. Lead with your positives, convince yourself you have no negatives. Guys use game theory (but most of us don't know we're doing that) to get laid. As a gamer, you can leverage that, like ju-jitsu. Guys also think getting girl is a lot like fishing. You can use that as well -- do you have the right flies? Or are you using bait? And the last secret I can share about guys without getting myself assassinated is that we never admit defeat. And you don't have to either.

Just from seeing your bio, anyone can see you have plenty to offer a clear-thinking man. Focus on that -- your great value -- and get to work. Go forth and differentiate.

go where similar people hang out. that's the hardest part, finding the connection. everything else is easy.

Maybe you are trying to hard and overthinking it.
Try not to worry about that and focus on yourself.

Higher powers? The only higher powers I recognize are in the form of exponents.
Politics: Trump’s a scumbag and needs to go the way of the dodo.

Use online dating. Find your partner around the world. Not only in your area. Don't give up. Don't ever give up. You will find your best lover and the best match sex partner. All the best!

As a gay man, growing up in a fundamentalist family, I spent most of my life in various forms of reparative therapy, so I couldn't really date in high school, college, and into my thirties... Which frustrates me as I look back because I was cute when I was younger, and guys liked me and came on to me... Now, I couldn't get laid in a bathhouse (joke, in case it didn't read that way).

There are so many people out there looking, you'd think we'd find something at some point.

Don't over think it. Stick to what you want to know them go from there

Grew up in Catholic School and then left the Catholic Church. Hypocritics and fairy tales but someone put us here.
Our political system needs a complete overhaul. Term limits , campaign financing with tax money. Popular vote only. The worst of each party gets throne out annually. They used to do that to cut down on grandstanding .

Yeah, I couldn't be with a Trump supporter, a passionately religious person, or a racist. Just found out an ex was racist (belittling "Black Lives Matter" is deliberately closed-minded, stupid, and racist), and I'm kind of appalled as he was one of the people I used to respect.

Now I have questions about how people feel about LGBTQIA+ as I've got kids in the closet and partway out, and none of it's easy. It might be easier if I were lesbian, to find someone who accepted these kids, but sadly I'm not even a little bit.

I think you should just go places you enjoy what you are doing/that make you happy and strike up conversations with whoever you meet there

Thats a very good question

In general for me i prefer to have a good time, have fun and know the person. Politics and religion will come naturally in the conversation.
And also, these 2 topics do not interfere much in most of peoples lives and day to day decisions.
Non believers in general are so diverse that the lack of a cosmic superpowerfull nany to keep us together makes any big group fail. You shouldn't use periferical traits to judge and form first impressions.

I have given up. I have accepted that he & I will never find one another. Now that the hormones, the urge to merge is less intense, it is not a priority. The effort is to great. The disappointments too frequent. I have all I want except for my aspiration to be widowed. & so I try not to dwell as a watched pot never boils. This may sound harsh but his careening towards the grim reaper is of his own doing & not mine. So I stand apart & wait.

Sure wish i had a face to look at...

I can go with the political question. More important is what do you enjoy doing, wondering if it would be in common with me.

The political situation in the presidency is so outrageous that I'm concerned that people will think the kind of lying and alienating behavior that trump has is normal.

I believe there may be an intelligence out there completely independent of any silly human religion.
This is a relatively new consideration due to a scientific article I read that indicates a symmetry in the universe that seems to indicate an intelligence.

Having been married twice (women raised in the 50's are heavily indoctrinated to feel they Must have a man) I am now , hands down, the happiest I have ever been in my entire life! Be careful what you wish for!