@EdEarl

@psycheworks Of course, when I was 20, too long wasn't nearly as long.

Good on ya ya salty dog! Very pleased for you.

What difference does it make divorced or separated you were not going to marry her that night. Sounds like you weren't even helping her get the dirty water off her chest.

@FrayedBear
She was married! Besides the morality issue, I could gave been sued by her husband. I wouldn't cheat, and I won't tolerate a cheater.

@Reignmond Sued! What perverted legal system are you exposed to? Morality? What morality? Are people not allowed to change their minds? Realise that false pretences / inducements were used to get people to enter into a contract of marriage?

I can well understand your concern that if she has cheated/ lied once she will do it again but again the principle applies "who owns the body and mind?"

@FrayedBear
In the US people can sue almost anybody at any time for anything. I often explain to some of the folks I deal with that once you get dragged into a lawsuit you have already lost; now, you are just arguing about how much. Plus, several States still have "Heart Balm" laws on the books. Heart Balm suits result in 10s of millions of dollars in payouts every year. And even, where there is no Heart Balm Laws , a laws suit can still be brought for "damages". Plus, there is always the little problem that husbands that are cheated on tend to get upset...sometimes murderously so.

@FrayedBear
Cheating is immoral because it involves intentional deception, and possible endangerment and financial loss. The time to change your mind was before marriage. If you change your mind after, then you get a divorce.

@Reignmond I do not disagree with your divorce concept. However it is the annulment of a contract between two people. Once it is said it is done imo. The rest is lawyers making money gilding the lily. I was told that under Muslim law saying "I divorce you" three times in a row annuls a marriage.

@Reignmond Very true. I've just experienced for the first time the perjury of witnesses and police aided and abetted by the corruption of local magistrates who refused to examine the evidence of the perjury. I ended up having to plead guilty to a criminal charge not committed in order to stop the charade. I felt like I was in the midst of Kafka's "The Trial" and am still needing therapy. [en.m.wikipedia.org]

@FrayedBear
You seem to have missed the point that she was not divorced, or even legally separated. She was married!

@FrayedBear
I have seen "things" in the courtroom that I did not agree with.

@Reignmond IMO if she has told her husband that she is no longer married to him but sepated from him and she is practising that even if still living in the same then in my mind she is divorced. Life cannot wait for absurd laws and courts to rubber stamp a piece of paper. The marriage contract like any contract has been terminated.

@Reignmond Given your concerns with the law I would have thought that the obvious safeguard like avoiding HIV is to ask for proof before dating.
I'm quite amused when I recall a dear Catholic friend who in order to justify to her priest that it was necessary to divorce husband number 1, then number 2 (I'm not sure about 3) she felt it necessary to commit adultery. I being an agnostic was the friend with the benefit for 1 and 2!

@FrayedBear
Try that with your mortgage agreement and see what happens. Even if "legally separated" spouses are still technically married. Only a legal judgment/divorce, or death ends a marriage.

@FrayedBear Difference between Separation and Divorce.
[attorneys.com]

@Reignmond I thought that divorce did not break mortgage contract - only a settlement does that ...the divorce bit being used as the lever to settle outstanding financial and parenting obligations?

@FrayedBear I meant try saying you reject your mortgage agreement like you were saying about rejecting a marriage.

@Reignmond How is a mortgage agreement terminated? Certainly not by going to effing court being robbed blind by lawyers or judges!

Quits on dating? MrKitty you sound like a man after my own heart - just get straight into it and after saying hello ask do you want to make love now? So no date date just straight into getting to know you naked and between the sheets.

@FrayedBear Not quite. MRP are my initials, I'm a woman. Took 2 dates to decide I'm not interested in what "dating" means these days

@MrPKitty LMAO Joke on me! Egg not quite on face but what would your idea of perfect dating be? Perhaps you should set up a questionnaire? There probably will be some fascinating differences of opinion.

What went wrong Eric? Lust wear out?

@FrayedBear there's an old saying that you can never go home again.....