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How do you deal with mixed signals?

bleurowz 8 Mar 18
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22 comments

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11

Heroically.

10

I jiggle the antenna..of course.

6

Mixed signals are simply someone who hasn't made up their mind. Help them make up their mind (or make yours up) for them. Maybe just let them know you're walking away for now to give them space and let them come back to you if and when they realize they're missing something good.

Yes, I like that. Makes a lot of sense.

6
4

Mixed signals? I assume the worst.

4

I walk away. Too old for bullshit games. I got too old for that crap in my 30's.

3

I don't do well with normal blunt signals at times. Mixed signals just confuse me even more. The only way I know to deal with them is to assume my receiver is in error and try to play it down.

Again though, unless they are blunt, "I am interested" I may not even notice. But I can actually call out several times in my life in which some very attractive women have said more than that and it totally escaped me.

2
2

My autism tendencies mean missing subtle cues, but mixed signals from the opposite sex seem clear. It's best to walk away from the relationship, because the other person is having difficulty delivering a message. Best to let them escape without the indignity of telling you to get lost. If they were ambibuous for some other reason, it is their responsibility to make you feel wanted.

On the other hand, one must be careful not to confuse "playing hard to get" with mixed signals, which is not necessarily easy. Based on what I've heard about hook-ups, younger women are more direct than when I was young. Some things change, but human nature has not.

2

I have a lot of patience with people who send mixed signals but I wouldn't waste my time being involved with that at 53. I just disengaged with an on and off artist bf of 13y. It was nice to have him hovering while I was focused on other things: raising my son, going back to school. I was widowed and I wasn't ready to settle. But now my life IS settled and I'm empty nesting. I can finally sit back and enjoy my hard work. I want to focus on other things than the mixed signals of uncertainty: art, politics, nature, music, yoga, writing, drawing. Mixed Signal Artist had a pattern: whenever we were hot and heavy, he'd have all kinds of excuses why committment was not appropriate for his Artist lifestyle and when disengaged all kinds of reasons why we were perfect for one another.

13y of my life were spent engaged with mixed signals and it was by and large extremely enjoyable, wink-wink-nudge-nudge. I didn't want committment, either.

Now I'm in a new phase and I don't want to guess.

If you are faced with this right now: Do some soul-searching, bleu. Figure out where you are in your life. Follow your gut and I hope you'll share what you find as you choose your path.

2

What kind of mixed signals, and in reference to what?

Not knowing what people want or mean, even if you ask them or tell them where you are.

2

I'm so crap at all of this stuff the fact that signals are mixed just adds texture to what is already going on in my head lol

2

The walk beats the talk hands down.

2

In terms of relationships, I'm of the opinion that there really are no mixed signals. Someone is either totally into you, positively and enthusiastically, or they're not.

2

Awkwardly, usually in an attempt to get some clarity. That usually kills whatever may have been there so problem solved, I guess

2

Go by your gut. Time will reveal true intentions

Makes sense.

2

It varies.

1

Some people are not clear with giving them. On your end, keep your boundaries clear and to the point. You can't change or control what others say or do. All you can control is yourself and your own words.

1

Open, honest, frank discussion.

1

When we were out together my wife had to tell me when a woman was flirting with me so I could invite her home. She was the best wing man ever.

1

I err on the side of caution.

1

Do you mean romantic signals between possible romantic partners?

In my case, if the person initiating flirt signals is male, it's likely I will miss them. Men usually have to be bold and confident to make friends with me despite my discouraging lack of interest.

I pick up on women's flirt signals more easily..usually becoming instantly aware of interest. Maybe because I have a slightly higher percentage of male brain mapping.

But I'm demisexual, so don't experience sexual attraction for anyone except after more than a year of close association.

I don't feel it right away, either. I may feel a connection with someone, but I don't feel an attraction until I get to know them better. And then I have to know they feel the same way.

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