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How do you deal with Holiday family gatherings?

We normally get together on Christmas Day, even though my family is agnostic/atheist, we like to use this time to reconnect and exchange gifts for the kids. My brother is now with someone new who doesn’t believe in family gatherings. I was just informed that they are coming Tuesday instead of Wednesday because they want to do their own thing on Wednesday. Fine, I won’t be there. I have to work and then go to a party. Thanks for changing the plans to suit your self absorbed desires.

Can you say pussy whipped?? My brother is such a freaking wimp he does everything she tells him to do. They can enjoy time with the parents, I have plans I am not willing to change. I’ll leave their gifts for them and carry on with my life.

What dysfunctional things happen with your holiday family gatherings?

helionoftroy 7 Dec 22
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35 comments

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0

just go and enjoy whoever shows up and keep your mouth shut for a day and be grateful for what you have if brother is happy be ok with that

I have other plans. That’s the point. He changed it last minute because that’s what he wants to do. I am not changing my plans for him. Plus, I’m in charge of the food for the party.

@helionoftroy id stick to my original plan changing should be mutual

4

One of my best Christmases was the one I spent alone. Friends couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to share the time with them. “You can’t be on your own at Christmas”

Yes I can! It’s my choice to.

Bless them, but it was great just to have a bit of peace!

Should be a day to do whatever ya want

4

I jiggle the keys in my pocket to remind myself I can leave.

3

oh man if you think someone changing dates is dysfunctional.... my family holiday gatherings would have you in tears or in a fetal position. 😛 Happy Holidays

Any you care to mention?

@helionoftroy Mostly just arguments between given fam members that sprawls out to criticisms against me or my sister or stress us both out we argue with each other. XD heh

@demifeministgal Why do you even go?

@Mitch07102 because if I don't they will throw a whiny bitchfest if I don't have a good reason for not coming and also, being alone on the holidays is more depressing for me. 😳

3

Do by not doing👍 werks for me.

3

I do not visit relatives for holidays. Too many of them are difficult. Too stressful to deal with them. I used to force myself to visit relatives and it was not fun. Better to be with my cats. I can be myself with my fur babies.

SKH78 Level 8 Dec 23, 2019
3

Simple . . . I don't attend them

3

Manhattans😀

3

So your own thing . Dont let it bother you!

3

I live alone so gifts do not enter the picture. Even my children know not to buy gifts for me. I tell them to buy for their children instead. Normally we have a holiday dinner at one of the daughter's homes. This year it appears that is not going to happen because of stupidity and one's work schedule. I might stay home alone OR maybe I could look for a homeless person less fortunate and try and surprise them by buying them dinner.

2

I live alone in a camper in Fort Lupton. Its temporary, Im here working and I have been here most of this year, I got to go home for a month in July then back to Colorado. I have a home on a farm in Kentucky. I went to family gatherings until about thirty years ago. Then it seemed to turn into a moral posting game. The other family members tried to out pray each other and chastize me because I had long hair, a beard and ride Harleys. They would ask me personal questions out loud then look around the room to check their appoval ratings.

  My sister asked me how was my relationship with "Jesus" I told her I hadnt seen the motherfucker since Vietnam, that he was an MP and was riding in a jeep. I went through basic training with him. His name was Jesus Lagamasino and he was a Puerto Rican

         That ended that conversation. The next loudly asked question was when are you going to find you a decent woman and settle down? I answered just as loudly back that "You can't have no fun with a decent woman" That ended that and was my last time at a holiday gathering. Maybe they had to find a replacement for the family heathen. I'll never know, and, I'll never care
2

I don't!

2

I miss them. Although I don't believe in God, specially Christmas was a day where my closest family got together. In my place, on Christmas we would just enjoy, chat and have fun. My mother used always to cook mushrooms, which I absolutely love, with lots of pepper and lemon juice. My older brother, his wife at the time and my nephew would come along and they were JW at the time. Now, my older brother is in Brazil as well as my mother, my younger brother lives in London. We would very rarely discuss religion on those occasions. Sometimes after lunch I would go to a cafe that had pool tables and play all afternoon with my older brother. Sometimes drinking beer all afternoon as well. Was I very lucky with my family?

2

We meet on the 24 and the 25 to eat, drink and be merry, AND exchange presents.

1

The FLU was a great help this year.

1

That sounds pretty functional to me. Everyone did their thing, no one got guilted into anything, no animals were harmed in the filming.

1

I enjoy the heck out of them.

Deb57 Level 8 Dec 27, 2019
1

Avoidance.

1

Remotely. My family lives in Australia, I live in the UK. It's a Skype call.

1

Arrive late ... leave early..... works great! I operate on the premise..." Relatives are like fish... after 3 hours they stink".... Mark Twain I think ...

blzjz Level 7 Dec 25, 2019
1

I have an athiest family as well, but we just get together on the holidays eat, exchange gifts and have fun. No real drama. I’m just lucky I suppose.

1

My family related to me by blood, I have not seen nor heard from them, nor do I wish to, for decades, my other 'adopted' family of good and wonderful friends, I enjoy and relish their company.

1

Having Christmas eve dinner with my ex and our daughter. We'll also open presents together in the morning. Christmas day with my girlfriend. Spend some time with my dad and stepmom on the family farm over the weekend.

The only dysfunction is the cat shitting on the floor. She's old but this is getting tedious.

1

Having a few days off work and eating nice food is good. Some years I spend a few hours at my brother’s, not the day as I get to drive and also don’t enjoy being around people, (especially my father), when they’ve have had more than a few pints.

1

None. I'm atheist, they're not, we don't talk about god. We just enjoy the time, good food, and drink together. I feel sorry for any family that doesn't have a bunch of happy drinks.

1

Divorce took care of all that for me. I used to just show up and sit on the periphery of things, just letting things happen out there in the room, watching people, and then fall asleep on any available couch.

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