Now's the time to picket churches with signs that say, "Where's your messiah now?"
Stupid fuckers.
(All I can hear is Edward G. Robinson's voice saying that.)
 KKGator
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    KKGator
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....your twisted...I admire the HELL out of that.
In my bad old days I volunteered for a local church. We told the priest we were out of 'holy water' so he said to bring him the official pitcher. He filled it with tap water and did some mumbo jumbo over it and presto holy water.
 JackPedigo
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    JackPedigo
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        LOL! I love this site. The comments are brilliant!!
 silverotter11
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    silverotter11
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Good. So holy water isn't that holy, is it?
 LiterateHiker
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    LiterateHiker
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Not covered under the Power Train Warranty...Customer Abuse.  
They'll probably start 'blessing' sani-wipes and sell them three for a buck.
 Silver1wun
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 10, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    Silver1wun
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 10, 2020                                            
                                        Duh! Don't you know holy water only works against vampires and demons. I expect a demon outbreak any day now.
 GeorgeRocheleau
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    GeorgeRocheleau
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Look for it to start in D.C.
@phoenixone1 we already have one sitting in the W.H..
This is absolutely hilarious. The irony is palpable. Who’s praying for you now.  I’m probably going to hell for this but  the virus can’t live in heat; I think 
 
 DiThor
                                                
                                                Level 6
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    DiThor
                                                
                                                Level 6
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        LMAO!!
It's just an unfounded rumor that the COVID-19 virus cannot survive the heat of summer. COVID-19 is unlike any virus we've seen to date.
Flu cases may decrease during the summer when people get outdoors. But flu illness rares up even stronger in the fall.
Hopefully it will hate the SE
@LiterateHiker
It has just been reported today that heat does help with virus. Also if you have a dry cough and a runny nose you do not have the virus. I had to laugh when I read that advice from some medical professional. So I’m thinking lots of hot baths...maybe even with a special friend. 
 we have to try to find the bright side of this. 
Seems logical to do so...not that logic is usually their strongest reason for doing something!
 Marionville
                                                
                                                Level 10
                                                Mar 10, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    Marionville
                                                
                                                Level 10
                                                Mar 10, 2020                                            
                                        Looks like their magic is working! I'm talking about Penn and Teller....
 TheGreatShadow
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    TheGreatShadow
                                                
                                                Level 9
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Oh, what a weak god they have, who can't even cleanse a bit of water! 
 BestWithoutGods
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 10, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    BestWithoutGods
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 10, 2020                                            
                                        Don't they know that blessing the water removes all of the sickness demons? Even if they wipe asses the old fashioned way followed by rinsing fingers, the gods have them covered. Where is their faith?? Jesus saves; especially on toilet paper! Glory!!
 Silver1wun
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 10, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    Silver1wun
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 10, 2020                                            
                                        this reminds me of the three young women who went to confession. You've probably heard it. The first one is told to wash your hands in the holy water, and the second one is told to gargle with it. Meanwhile, without being told, the third one sits in
 BitFlipper
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 10, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    BitFlipper
                                                
                                                Level 8
                                                Mar 10, 2020                                            
                                        Yes, that's an old one, although I must confess when I heard it, the 1st girl, based on her confession, was told to wash her hands in holy water, while the 2nd was directed to wash her breasts. As the two were busy washing, the 3rd showed up saying, 'move over girls, I have to gargle.' At least that is what I remember from decades past.
@p-nullifidian that's how it is with jokes.
I'm not so familiar with the Catholic faith, does that mean absolution is fucking totally out of the question?
 Archeus_Lore
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    Archeus_Lore
                                                
                                                Level 7
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Nope
The standard reply to that would of course be..."IT'S ALL PART OF GODS PLAN".
not the donation basket ? Haha
 coregonz4
                                                
                                                Level 3
                                                Mar 9, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    coregonz4
                                                
                                                Level 3
                                                Mar 9, 2020                                            
                                        Oh Noooooooo...that NEVER gets cut off...
@phoenixone1 god needs a damn accountant.
@TattedIrishXx needs a bigger bank and more tax loopholes...and another Jet for the minister...a mink stole for the wife...a new Lexus for the Mistress...I could go on forever...I hate the con artist bastards...
I guess it must not be as holy as it should be....LOL
 Smitty6810
                                                
                                                Level 3
                                                Mar 11, 2020
                                            
                                                
                                                    Smitty6810
                                                
                                                Level 3
                                                Mar 11, 2020