Depends largely on the type of talking. If he has nothing nice to say about her, I figure that someday it will be me he is trashing. Conversely if he can't stop talking about great she was, I figure he is going to be going back to her someday

It would depend on many things: How long had we been dating? How long had it been since I dated and why? My husband had been dead 5 years before I started dating and so I expected there to be conversations around exes as a natural part of getting to know each other. There were widowers and divorcees and what they said was very telling so it paid to be attentive, in order to really know what they were looking for by dating me.

Those who can't get past talking about their ex no matter what the subject may be raising a red flag that they aren't over the relationship, but as others have said, with a long-term thing like a marriage with children, you'd need to allow a lot of slack, since nearly every experience probably involved either ex or kids.

Comparisons like "I loved the way he styed his hair, you should try it that way", or "Why don't you get your nails done, she used to" need some immediate communication around them if you like the person otherwise, because this type of thing may create resentment later on.

My advice is keep your eyes and ears open as well as your mind to know what you're getting into.

I think it depends on the context

I'll let everyone know as soon as I find someone to date.

it depends on the circumstances. from previous experience it never bothered me. but those were not more than brief mention or comparisons. so that was enough for my desires.

I think it depends upon the context. If it's essentially out of the blue, and just some kind of rant, that's a red flag. Or perhaps worse, if it seems to be brought up at slightest tangential context, that's also a red flag. In both cases, it signals to me that the other person probably hasn't moved far enough beyond an ex or exes.

Certainly, there are instances when it would be acceptable, if it's directly related to the context, but even then the nature of the recollection matters as well. The only manner I can think of that would be suitable is a rather live and learn attitude.

If it's right out of the gate, there just might be an issue. If it's a lot, there just might be an issue. Over time, a little at a time, it really just isn't avoidable. There are going to be happenings that draw it out. And what better way to become informed of matters that may or may not cause a degree of discomfort in a relationship that could potentially be a benefit. If I had a partner that within our relationship never found that draw as mentioned, I'd be about as worried as the one that couldn't get out of the gate without repeated mentions.

"Out Of The Illusion " Group

I hate it to be truly honest here. It sets a person up to be your grief counselor. I do not mind helping out friends that need my advice but I will not coddle this person into thinking I am needed in that respect. People can suck the life out of you with their past ex's and maybe you could write their book for them. What I am trying to get across here is this is how the drama starts and stays there, it sometimes never leaves us and dwelling too much on one person or thing leaves us stuck.

Not my business.

Just a sec.

I found the pork in my tamale.

nom.nom.

I don't thin'k many of us are virgins.

Speaking of the before is natural.

I wouldnt want to be involved in acting like a therapist for a former relationship, At my age I hope there have been others and it would be hard to talk about this person's life without including past partners. I do pay close attention to how they are discussed though

I am OK with it. At my age everbody has a past!

If they were in a long relationship, of course they're going to have their ex in a large majority of their past experiences and important parts of their history. If you're so threatened by that, then maybe you aren't ready for a real relationship. You're not a middle schooler.

HOWEVER that said, keep the past in the past. Pasts are important. We are who we are because of everything in our past. To pretend like you never loved your ex is to deny a part of what has made you who you are. Think on it like an old childhood memory. Don't let that memory dictate today.

I'm not thrilled about it but small doses are bound to surface, so if I'm the one asking questions about the ex, then its ok. Lol

It depends on the context. I dated a lady in Denver whose ex would come hang out with us. I liked him. My ex-wifes' ex came to town and stayed with us for a couple of days to see his daughter graduate, and l liked him better than l liked her. I just don't want to hear them bitch about the ex.

Our past accounts for who we have become. Some has been edifying and some damaging. A person who loves who've they become and appreciates others for who they've also become has no difficulty sharing ANY life experiences, joyful, hurtful or teaching. Without the past included who are we?

I would be surprised to find out I'm dating someone.

We all talk about our exes to some extent. It would depend entirely on the situation in which it comes up.

Oh and she's saying his willy is bigger she's straight our the door ....

In my case - he lost his wife not even a year ago - so I expect him to have "moments", and want to talk about her. Though it can get a bit old at times ...

Exs are going to come up on conversation as in, "when i went to over there with my ex, ...." or "i realized giving up things i want to do just because my ex wasnt into it is not good for a relationship."

Now if its nothing more than a "my ex bitchfest" yeah, not so much.

Mostly, it depends on how they are talking about their ex. If it is about how lucky they were to get away. That's OK. If it's about how nasty they were and all men (women) are the same. Not OK. If it's about how they really messed up and the ex got away. That's really not OK.

I'm good with it as long as it is not negative. Not that I want them fauning about them either.

Especially at first it should be kept as a minimum. If a girl won't stop talking about their ex. No matter what it will makes me believe they are not yet over them in some fashion. Whatever the reason is it doesn't matter. The only thing you need is a friend and time to get over them. I usually never talk about exes especially when I first begin dating. I feel at that point it's like your conjuring them.

I think the past is the past - I make a point of not mentioning exes to current partners. It's not that it 'bothers' me as such - just that 'private moments' remain private even when with an ex.

I don't mind, it is all part of who they are.