One thing I've always had is a personal code of what I won't tolerate or do.
I've had to alter it very little. It has cost some but my internal integrity is more important than what anyone may think, say, or do in response.

I don't have a problem setting my boundaries anymore - it's enforcing them that sometimes is the problem. It is healthier to remove the negative people from your life, but it's not easy when that person has been in your life for quite some time. I had to go no-contact with my former best friend because he just couldn't keep my boundaries and his behavior was becoming controlling. It was hard because he could be nice and we had some good times; but his behavior towards me was not healthy. When I meet new people, especially on dating websites, I don't have a problem setting boundaries. Some men don't like that - I think they have a problem with a strong woman. They say I have too many "rules" - I say I'm not willing to settle.

I am usually awful I run around after everybody but there is a man in my sheltered acconnodation scheme who really needles me, he is often drunk and always in charge of the handset for the communal T.V. watching the racing- he probably has a form of alzheimers and he shouts quite loudly and is always giving me orders - like ' put your shoes on ! Dont do that!
I stopped talking to him and interestingly its working.

Treat me nice and l will treat you nice. That is it for me.

My boundaries are firmly in place, it took me about 50 years until I got to teh point where I will tell someone when they are approaching one.

At the moment I feel it would be in my best interests to relax my boundaries with someone who literally holds my health and welfare in her hands.

This situation can't end soon enough for me. When it does, I'll be able to set myself free.

I often find it an opportunity to express my opposing views. There are indeed though, many times that I choose not to engage. JW's came to my door recently, and I just took their free liturature politely (I like to read - it was an invitation to their "Jesus died for your sins" lecture, with a promise of no asking for donations). I declined to watch their 2 minute presentation on their tablet device as I was pretty grubby answering the door unexpectedly. I might have traded worldviews with them, but the next door neighbors are JW's, and they're really sweet people with adorable kids. Not sure if they'd forbid their kids to interact with me if they knew of my own atheism. I just let pass the things the kids say that show that they're being groomed in the faith. Things like not celebrating holidays and the like. The little boy once even said to me that I should join, LOL. I simply told him that I have a different way of looking at the world and left it at that.

Marriage and family therapist Michael Morgan says teaching people how to treat us is a process that involves teaching them “what is acceptable and unacceptable". It is knowing what we need and want and being able to communicate it effectively to others.” Knowing you own needs is the key. Last week I ended a 40+ year relationship with my best female friend because she sold me out in favor of my ex-wife whom she has only known for eight years. Much of this came about because the ex-friend lives in a very small world, and is incapable of viewing life in a 'Big Picture' kind of way...a world I do not want to live in. I've known her husband, who is my best male friend, for 59yrs, but if he chooses to walk in lockstep with his wife which is what will probably happen, he's out too, and not only for this reason... he's a drunk. Bottom line is this: I've been relentless about doing the painstaking work to become the highest functioning and best Earthling I can be since my diagnosis with a mood disorder. All of this effort is to get me into the mode...and keep me in the lifestyle...of peace. Any one -no matter who it is- that isn't assisting me in this endevour isn't part of the solution. They're part of the problem, so I simply stamp 'Toxic' on their foreheads...and go about my business without their drama or negative opinions. Its like taking a 90lb sack of sand off my shoulders, and throwing it down. At this stage of my life the relief I feel about dropping the drama is more beneficial to me than hanging around and listening to babble that hasn't changed one iota since the 70's.

I once met an attractive lady for dinner. She obiviously had money and lived well. Afterward, she sent me a letter inviting me to spend the weekend with her at her house. There were things about her that caused me concern. So, in spite of the probability of a sexy weekend, I declined and simply told her that I felt we were headed in different directions. I know what I want and don't want.

Boundaries, boundaries... you can almost say I don't have any and yet I recognize and respect the existance for a healthy relation. So to Boundaries this dude abides.

I am so glad someone posted this topic. Boundaries are so, so important and yet people frequently ignore this aspect of their lives and relationships. Until about a year and a half ago I did not impose boundaries or practice mindfulness and thinking and living in the present moment, both of which are extremely important to our mental health.

I always set mine early..except in the bedroom..cuz I love to explore..?

Y’all are a lot better at adulting than I am, here I am in mid 40’s and am just being exposed to more mature relationship thinking, romance/friend/ acquaintance/etc.

I've toughened up enough to not to put to much thought into others hangups. I have a drink every now and then even though I'm in AA. I don't explain a reason to them and don't bring it up. My wife has a drink 4 times a week and she's in AA. I say what the hell as long it's in moderation. I don't mind others because they don't mind me. I step outside to smoke and stay clear of others. I don't throw out that I'm agnostic when the Jesus stuff comes up. My reasoning is control. I walk away if it gets to deep. We all got our own hangup. So I do my own thing. My wife thinks I'm cool. She's a catch for me too. My motto is to just go with or slowly back away with respect. It's just wonderful out there in our little world and loving others is what its all about for me. Allow people to be themselves without our 2 cents is a cool way of treating people.

People tend to be taken aback by the clear, simple, and direct way I make my boundaries known. It weirds them out and they distance themselves from me, or try to shame me for being so "harsh".

I don't need emotionally incestuous co-dependents or dominators in my life. Good riddance.

At my age, I don't worry about it much. I'm pretty careful when things start going in the wrong direction to just let folks exactly where I am.

I have revised my boundaries since visiting fellow member and seeing we were incompatible.

1. No tobacco smokers - I cough/wheeze and can't be around it.
2. No one will control me - where I go, what I eat/drink be it alcohol, how I wash dishes.
3. No one will tell me when to book a return ticket. Never book an open ticket.
4. There will always be a couch I can sleep on.