This god you speak of does not exist. You might want to look into getting some therapy to help with the obvious depression you are going through. This god you speak of is a Man-made construct that needs to be retired to the same place Santa Claus and the Easter bunny resides.

God doesn't hate you nor does he love you, he's a fiction. So since God isn't a thing you have to look at the issues that plague you as problems that life has randomly thrown at you. You have to look at them pragmatically and strategize a way to deal with them as best as you can. You might succeed at overcoming them or you might fail.

We all have to deal with whatever life hits us with and life can suck in so many different ways for so many people but there's no God involved, just individual circumstances and simple dumb luck or the lack of it.

My advice is stop blaming everything that is wrong in your life on a non-existent god and I believe you will find things will immediately improve. Take responsibility for your own life, nobody put you here for a grand purpose, you were born the same way as the rest of us, our parents gave us life because they were in a sexual union...it’s purely biology. When you realise that your destiny and happiness are in your own hands, then you will be in a much better position to improve things.

Your relationship with your husband seems shaky, you seem insecure and resentful of him, something you need to sit down and have a frank discussion about. If you are estranged or feeling ignored by your wider family, that too should be faced and discussed, in order to sort your concerns out. You have the ability to act in your own best interest by going out with a positive attitude to make friends, by joining in an activity or volunteering for a local charity.

I don’t mean to dismiss your fears, loneliness is a scourge, and if none of the changes needed to improve things work...then I urge you to seek professional counselling. Good luck and best wishes for the future..but remember you have the power within you to make life better!

Perhaps a good exercise here would be to replace the word "God" in all of your questions with the name of some god that you don't believe in at all. Maybe Zeus?

So, why does Zeus not love you? Why does Zeus seem oblivious to your pain? If Zeus was looking out for you, you would not feel isolation and loneliness.

How silly does that sound to you? But, in the same way that you can disregard Zeus, you can also disregard God. Both are equally ineffective, yes? In both scenarios, you are on your own.

But this is good news! You are on your own! You have the power to affect change, without being beholden to the whims of Zeus or God. Zeus ain't gonna fix your marriage, but YOU can try to do so. Zeus ain't gonna make friends for you, but YOU can reach out to people. And Zeus ain't gonna help you with depression, but YOU can take that first step and find yourself a counselor.

Forget about Zeus. Drop him like a bad boyfriend. YOU have more power than him.

"God" has absolutely Nothing to do with anything, it is an imaginary idea & wasting your time thinking about it does Nothing to improve your life. You are waiting for a bus that will never arrive!
See a counselor( you can find free orlow cost ones!)
Start depending on what You can do for yourself! It is totally up to you to make your life what you want it to be!

God is created by man to control others, mostly women. God isn't real he can't love you, want you, or know you. If you are unhappy in your marriage look into fixing it. If your family is not healthy for you, cut ties. If you need a purpose in life help others. That is the secret to happiness.

[suicidepreventionlifeline.org]

They have both a telephone and a chat line.

You might want to ask about being set up with a counselor in your area - it sounds like you need to find some solutions for some heavy questions. And that you are struggling with some major life issues.

We also have a group here: "Mental Health Support "

Also this one: "Recovering from Religion"

Please see a therapist.

One of the great things about becoming an atheist is that I was able to let go of any questions like this. I no longer have to worry about why god would do, or not do, this or that. Life just is. Things just happen. Sometimes they are good, sometimes horrible. But, when it comes down to it, there is no reason to think there is a god, or any supernatural force, causing any of it.

I never set out to become an atheist. My journey from leaving organized religion to becoming an atheist took over a decade. It was an anxiety ridden time for me; but, when I came out the other side, there was a peace I had never known as a believer.

My hope for you is that you find some peace. And, if you have deep feelings of depression, I hope you are able to seek help from a doctor or counselor.

I feel that there is a time when everyone comes to a point where they start to ask questions. It is not that God has abandoned you or anything like that. I have no idea how you interact with your world, that is for you and no one else.

I went through a time like this, it was at the same time I was just starting to think of writing a story. I started to tell story when I would put my kids to bed. It is a science fiction story that I made up as I went.

Anyway, I started to think what would happen if we were actually visited by another species from space. I wondered what they would think of our God. I came to the realization that they would necessarily have to have some other belief system probably based on Science, after all they got here. This allowed me to think that perhaps our concept has a problem. More on this at some other time. What happens if God disappears, for me?

For me it meant that I was responsible for all the decisions that got me to the place where I now found myself. I was not in a good place by any stretch of the imagination. I started thinking, well how did I arrive where I am, in the situation I am in, if I made the best decisions I could at the time. I felt that there was something else working against me. Perhaps I was in the best place I could be. Will I ever get out of this mess and have things better, live in a way that brings more satisfaction, more success, what ever that is for me.

At this time I would go to Powell's Books, I lived in Portland at this time, and it was the best library one could just walk through. (The books were all out in the open, not in stacks the public cannot get to) This did two things I did not realize would happen. First, I was introduced to many more people with the same problem, whole sections of books written by them, and second, this opened my world by bringing other influences into my realm. It took me out of my head, opened my eyes to other possibilities. I found a book, many times I would walk down the isles of books and one would just fall on the floor in front of me. It did not have to be answering a question, usually the title would just make a point that was like a road sign (for me, interpreted by me) that would take me somewhere not thought.

I came to realize that I was, had, allowed myself to put myself into the situation from which I was now in. I was kind of in a situation that was not working as I thought it should. I thought about this for a time and came up with the realization that if I wanted to change the way the world was presenting itself to me I had to change how I interacted with the world. I said I was at a bad place, at this time I had about $15.00 a week for incidentals of which food was one. Fortunately, Powell's wanted to sell books, they were large enough to have a particular person manage each section, and they had so many it did not really matter to them if you just sat in the isle and read them. At this time I also was in business partnership where we needed business, so being away from it was Ok.

I started by visiting different business groups, any group of people that had a different interest than I. Chamber of Commerce, Greater Portland Oregon Visitor as Association, The CIty Club of Portland, Portland Business Association. This was hard as I do not like large groups of people, being in this kind of a place gave me nightmares. I made it a point to participate as I could. The nightmares eased. Hard as it was, I started to find people who had completely different interests, who saw the world in a completely different ways. I learned that each of these people was actually doing the same thing I was, they just had a less interesting means to do it. I mean most of these people had to take this contact, like I was doing, to sell something or create some marketing plan, or some other like duty. It was their job, so for them it was not interesting, what they wanted to be doing. For them it was boring, so to talk with someone who had a different take allowed them to step out of their shoes and do something else than they thought they would be doing.

That did not matter to me, what mattered was that I was collecting a number of business cards, conversing with a number of people, and kind of doing a research project. I made many mistakes, many voyages into uncharted territory, but eventually I created a group of people that gave me something others did not have. Or perhaps they have the group but they do not use it the way I did. I created a loosely held group of people who knew me well enough I could ask questions, I could answer questions. I started to ask questions, stupid questions, I mean really stupid questions of people who I thought knew the answers. At first this was strange, I had no way to know if I was making sense. I realized I was asking the questions incorrectly, the questions were what I wanted to have answered, but I realized I did not really want the answer, I wanted help.

I started to ask for help with my business, my interests, my relationships. This was not easy as many people did not have the information I wanted the way I wanted to hear it. I had to change what I was asking, learning how to ask the question, keeping track of who knew what, of which person might help and which would not. Eventually, I had no idea of this, I created a group of people who surrounded me and from this, through little effort on their part, probably without their notice, my world changed. I went from making the best decision on a particular topic to finding a list of options and then taking from that list. All of a sudden the world opened up and from what was being presented I could choose options that would work better for me. Or I could just put off making any decision at all and see what arrived to me, which once I was brave enough to wait, always was a much better option to a much better situation.
This process was not easy, it took a lot of time(about five years to just feel good about what I was getting), a lot of effort, some money, but not much. The more I got into the process of research, the better things worked, my financial situation improved, not by much, but in reality what I was looking for was not money for anything financial. It worked to return to me what I asked.

I found that the end result was not to be getting information from people, but to know enough people with different views and ways of being in the world, that I became a resource for them,I could help them find connections that were meaningful to them. This was not my goal, at the time I did not even know it could be a goal, an option. It was the giving back that changed, that gave me answers.

I had no idea what I had to do, mentally where I was going to have to go, or what I was going to have to learn before I started this journey. I actually had no goal but to see what was out there and if I could find something else, I had no idea of what the options were, but I knew what I was capable of doing and I knew from which place I wanted to be seen (arriving?)

Had I been religious, perhaps I would state that I put myself in Gods hands, but I do not believe in God, and I realized that the hands I was putting myself in were mine and mine alone, with a lot of support. To some extent this site is a part of that vast network. The people on here have no idea what I get out of this place, some who read my posts may have an interest, I am not looking for a girl friend, I do not travel, though I would like to, something must be missing in his life that he would spend the time here and not somewhere else. The true answer is to write posts like this, to give myself some little access to authentic thought on my part, that may lead to some place yet to be determined. So thanks for the chance to rant. Thanks for everyone who makes up this site And gives me the chance for reflection. Thoughts?

Forget God and get some counseling.

If you hate God, that would make you a believer, since you must believe in it to hate it. A non-existent god cannot hate or love. Maybe you just hate one of the many god/gods concepts? Your "feelings" are then equal to the emotions you would feel watching an emotional film.

You say you are alone, yet have a husband?

You were born into this world in the same way everyone else was, sperm and egg. No magic, no heavenly music or shouting, and no god making you suffer, unless you have proof of one.

You can't squeeze blood from a turnip and you can't get a non-existent god to love you. You must accept yourself, your self-rejection is evident.

If you don't have friends, ask yourself if you tend to reject others before they reject you.

To your points: there is no god; you are above average; others are scared of your thoughts. You’re at a pretty good place here, and you count.

There is no ‘reason’ for our existence ..other than some evolutionary drive to procreate. If life forms didn’t have that drive, they’re gone. So here we are … all aware of our place within a barely conceivable universe, and wondering, what now?

Seems we’ve a culture formed around fear, not much changed since we first hid from ..thunder. So we huddled together, and made more of us. I suspect there was a survival advantage to having a ‘strong male’ make some serious decisions … but that power and ‘authority’ appears addictive, especially to our less aware or educated..

Many accept that pattern, while others have no intention of giving it up. Women appear to fall in line culturally, ending up trapped. Religion is further used to ‘justify’ their subordination. Don’t know that I can suggest a painless, or safe way out… We’ve some good people around here who likely can, many having escaped themselves.

In the meantime - no shit - you count ...and sound to be evolving to another awareness.. Take it as slow and careful as necessary, know ‘it isn’t you,’ and ..plan your escape. We won’t tell

There are no gods, therefore something that does not exist can't hate or be hated, it's like getting depressed because you think that unicorns hate you. You are obviously depressed and need help, call a free hotline, they can help you. Here's a link. [psychcentral.com]

A much easier answer: don't stress, he doesn't exist. And heck - a few quick examples why, and one long one . . . zoom in on and read the Epicurean Paradox one. And ask ANY Christian to rationalize it to you (and they will cry "free will" - which that "salvation" one quickly destroys)

Pure simple logic proves, beyond a doubt, that god but is too weak and/or too much of an asshole to eliminate suffering. Or, he simply doesn't exist.

That's "god" for ya - used as a scapegoat for good and bad for gazillions of years
by thousands of cultures !

Sorry for the news - but only you are responsible for how your life goes.

Leslie, you sound like you might be very depressed. I know because I've been there many times. I hope you are seeking or getting some mental health help. It pains me to my core to hear YOUR pain. Please find someone to talk to who will listen and can offer you some help. You are not alone! You may feel that way right now, but please know there are people who care about you, even strangers. I care about you.

Hello. Sorry you are having such difficulties in life. Personally I don't believe a god has anything to do with it because I do not believe in any god. Have you tried to seek counseling? A good therapist may be able to help you sort out a few things and may be able to help you on a more satisfying like path.

You're lucky... The Great Gazoo hates me... And he is more powerful than god...

1. Do you believe in God?

2. Maybe the hate that you're feeling comes from the "control" that God has had over your life. This is a large part of religion that people have to recover from. Psychologically, religion is an anxiety inducing, controllingly abusive mess.

3. As for your other relationships, you have to find a healthy way to put yourself first. Practice some self- care and get in touch with your inner "you" again. When you put the needs of everyone else (both God and family) above your own needs, you start to forget who YOU are and what makes you the unique individual that you are. Its like when you're on an airplane and they are giving the safety speech: remember that sometimes you have to help yourself before you are able to assist others.

4. If you're feeling particularly hopeless, reach out to a professional that can help you navigate what you're feeling. You aren't alone in feeling these things; maybe it's time you gave yourself the gift of self actualization and acceptance. You'll be amazed at how stable you'll feel when you are able to sort through these feelings. Future You will thank Present You for the choices you make right now.

Wrong site. Find a site full of believers. There is no god.

Leslie, you are not alone. Look at all the replies to your post. These are all people that care about you. We've never met you, but care enough about your existence to try and help. Use the site to try and make connections

Someone mentioned finding a hobby. Cooking and baking is something you can do 'for your husband', but can really be for you. Something you can take pride in as you learn and progress. There's tons of site all over the internet to help you.

Also your Hudgens sounds abusive. If not physically then emotionally, and controlling. He's determining your self worth. If that's the case, you need to separate yourself from that.

Wishing you the best,
David

Leslie, you do have someone, you have you!! Out of kindness, and having been there, please, reach out for counseling. For you, not your husband, for you!! You need to love yourself first, take care of your self, you need You! Please, talk with someone.

Why does God not want you? Most likely answer--because God doesn't exist. I think there are only three other possibilities: God created us but does not involve itself in our lives at all, God's power is limited, or God is malevolent. An all-powerful creator god that cares about and loves us is logically impossible if evil and suffering exist.

Regardless, your hatred toward God is wasted energy. There are things worth hating, but why hate something that can't even be shown to exist? Even if there is such a thing as God, your hatred of it is hurting you more than it ever could hurt God. Save your hatred for things you know are real and that you are able to impact, even if only slightly.

Why do you think something that doesn't exist, could hate you, or anything else??