Things are frequently most intense in the beginning. That includes questions.

It is possible that had you waited, the person would be upset that you were dishonest or not forthcoming, and the result could have been worse.

There is also a good chance that timing would not have mattered and this person is just not for you. That said, a gut spill is rarely the way to go, especially at the beginning. Spoon feed the weirdest and worst about yourself.

It depends on how you feel. I share more with some and less with others. I share more with those I like more.

First, don't lie BUT don't offer too much either. Think of it as an exercise in patience. No details, stick to generalities until your intimacy grows into a real relationship, then as things come up you can be more forthcoming.

Example: Instead of telling a list of detailed abuses... say, "I was abused in the past but am working on recovering from that experience. " If they ask for details be honest and say you're not yet ready to share that but if your relationship develops you will of course be open about it.

Your past is your business and unless you want to open up and think they are ready for it you are well within your rights to be discrete. Over sharing at the wrong time can be deal breaker. Good luck!

Additionally, beware... some people who are control freaks or narcissists are looking for what they perceive as "damaged" people. It's so much easier to take over someone's life if they have a history.

One cannot establish a truly close relationship without revealing our real selves. As we come to trust and care for a person, we begin to trust and then begin to make ourselves vulnerable by revealing more, including our mistakes.

Yes. Next time just say "none of your business" and if the questions are creepy, add the adjective "damned."

Instead of looking at them as "mistakes".... look at them as "lessons" or "experiences".

Learn from your errors.
Put little investment i n online interactions.
Reveal your pain when you are far more along in your relationship.
Predators are out there so protect yourself.
Reveal to a counselor not a stranger online.

Unless someone is holding s gun to your head, or the thumb screw is being tightened beyond endurance - you have control over what comes out of your mouth.

My feeling is , people can ask me whatever they'd like - but I'm under no obligation to answer - unless I want to. As relationships form and grow, it's not uncommon to peel away layers. Some may be appropriate to share, and some might never be, and that's ok.

I once heard someone say, "Never admit to anyone that you are no good...let them find out for themselves."

An attempt at humor...don't take it seriously.

However, I am (was), the type of guy who wanted to hear about all the skeletons in her closet so that if I found that she had involvement with something that I could not deal with, I could dump her...but as an Asperger's, Syndrome person, I pretty much operate from a logical perspective, not emotional.

Truth be told, I did a lot of dumping of girl friends in the old days. It is also notable, the most of those girls I dated were not forth coming with the things I considered deal breakers.

"Yes, I forgive you...but I am leaving you anyway."

Everything will eventually come to light if the relationship lasts long enough, you can be sure of that. You need to balance the impact your revelations will have immediately before things are that serious vs. how much damage it will cause if you don't reveal it till later. I can't say what's best for you. I personally prefer to get that stuff out as soon as possible, both mine and my potential partner's, but that's just me. Lots of equally valid approaches in the other comments. Good luck! I hope you and your sweetie find harmony.

Answer every question with a question.

Unload all your baggage up front. If they can’t take it, then they can’t take you. It’s better than developing feelings and then being ghosted because of what made you, well you!!

I hope this all works out for you!!!

The flipside is that if the guy doesn't ask, the woman assumes the guy does not care. Our past is what makes us who we are today. So....I think you should know going back into the dating world to be somewhat prepared.
Somewhat prepared? Yes, I don't think all of this has to or can be answered in one big gush. You will continue to sort these things out. And continually re-frame your answers to unexpected questions. There are a lot of good answers here from the previous posters. They are all over the place.....And I agree with just about every one of them.

Just found this link that may interest you.
[facebook.com]

Three words... Always Be Honest! However... in a new relationship it can be a shock to hear too much too soon. The whole point is to develop over time. Too much info too soon can be scary... But if it is something you feel the need to get out then you should.

Probably not a good idea to tell anyone everything. It takes away the mystery.

I'd be wary of sharing too much too early, in case you share things that could make you vulnerable to abuse or embarrassment if your history was repeated.

There are are some in the dating world who seek out those who have been abused, and/or show a tendency toward too much trust, and they take advantage of that.

I used to want to share everything right out front, but guys I dated never really cared, so that was a waste. I'm wiser now, but I'm not sure I'll ever find someone with whom I could feel a strong trust, before I share my innermost secrets.

That’s a great question. I’ve found that very few prospective friends/dates read your profile. Recently had a guy contact me and chatted for like 3 days, with him telling me how much he liked me, etc. I even asked him if the non religious thing bothered him. He denied that it did. After more chatting, and during a period of non chatting, I suddenly got a from him saying not to contact him anymore, quoting a section of my profile where I referred to religious people as delusional. I guess it depends on what the reveal is.

Why would that be necessary?