LINK Pastor: Noah’s Family Cleared Away 12 Tons of Animal Feces on the Ark Every Day | Hemant Mehta | Friendly Atheist | Patheos
Of course the story of Noah's ark is the fourth (known) incarnation of the flood story.
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Out of all the outrageous stories in the bible, this is the one that astounds me that grown people believe it.
So many things about it are just impossible.
BufftonBeotch
Level 8
Feb 3, 2021
1
So, Big Sky Daddy has a 'bad hair' day, decides to punish those naughty creations of his by flooding the planet He/She/It created, spots a 500 year old bloke with 3 sons, NO nautical/ship building knowledge at ALL, tells him to build a boat in the middle of nowhere without plans, cranes, sawmills, etc, etc, No windows/portholes, No Steering device, No sails, No anchor, No ballast or bilge pump, No oars for extra propulsion if needed, No system for navigation, fill it with animals of ALL kinds, no-one, even the animals are permitted to have sex or breed, ENOUGH food for as many days as Sky Daddy desires, until Sky Daddy can find a new and better hairdresser LOL), the predators do NOT eat the prey animals, the spiders don't spin webs and eat the insects, kangaroos, wombats, emus, penguins, sloths, etc, MAGICALLY manage to cross miles and miles of Oceans from Continents that have NOT yet been discovered to board this floating zoo, shit and crap everywhere both as they travel and on this boat live there for who knows how long.
Then, just as MAGICALLY, manage to find their own way back to the lands they came from on the first place and yet leave NO trace of themselves or their dead behind.
Yep, makes about as much sense to me as trying to dig a tunnel to China using a kitchen fork and a spoon.
Triphid
Level 9
Feb 3, 2021
2
Just because every single thing that has ever been said, written or believed about these supposedly super sky beings is a ludicrous exercise in farce, doesn't mean that we can know that there isn't a god or there is a god, or does it?
See for yourself:
[arkencounter.com]
Noah even provided eyeglasses for the giraffe.
nicestuff
Level 7
Feb 3, 2021
2
Noah’s ark was all a bunch of shit. It was approximately 400 or 500 feet long, it had no lights, no ventilation, no bilge pump, no depth finder / fish finder, no radar or Sonar. There was both sexes of each living animal on it, according to the Bible. Not to mention being in the ark for nine months. All the food needed for the animals as well as Noah’s family would have required about 6 or 7 cargo ships the size of the TITANIC to transport.
CuddyCruiser
Level 8
Feb 3, 2021
2
Given that the myth says the rains lasted for 40 days and nights, then the ark floated around aimlessly for possibly 2 - 3 weeks after that, the sum total of shit would in the vicinity of approx. 700+ tons, then the Chrustians have spreading shit and TRYING to stuff it down our throats ever since.
Is it any WONDER that religion leaves us with a shitty taste in our mouths?
Triphid
Level 9
Feb 2, 2021
2
Half of the Decalogue came from Hammurabi, too, i don't think the Bible tries to hide that it is a collection of mythologies that reveal truth the best? Start with "no actual animals in a literal ark" maybe, or How is it you did not know I was not talking about bread?
bbyrd009
Level 7
Feb 2, 2021
2
Where did they get all the food in order to make so much shit ever day!!!
Fish, Whales, and others mammals such as seals, otters, walruses.where were they or did they eat them???
Inquiring minds wheedle to know???
of-the-mountain
Level 9
Feb 2, 2021
1
wadr reading that literally makes you a believer of a sort, too?
@bbyrd009
Are you fucking nuts???
@of-the-mountain maybe, but i suggest that reading allegorically unhides the wisdom, whereas reading literally makes for good jokes, and thats about it?
Seems you have too much time on your hands without the benefit of the intelligence to abide your stupidity!!!
Haste makes waste in your case!!!
@of-the-mountain ok then, ty
have a nice day
Gives new meaning to the Bible being a load of shit!
Barnie2years
Level 8
Feb 2, 2021
7
Noah was becoming overwhelmed with all the crap on the ark and so prayed unto his god.
"Lord what should I do with all of yonder shit?"
He pleaded.
And the Lord took mercy upon Noah and commanded him thus.
"Noah, takest thou thy shovel and cast unto the west all of that crap which doth reside in thy sight, be it of bird, animal, insect, man or animal. For thus sayeth the Lord thy god in my wisdom."
So Noah did as he was bidden and called upon his sons and verily they did cast away all of the of doodoo unto the west of the ark.
And it came to pass that in 1492, Columbus did discover it again.
LenHazell53
Level 9
Feb 2, 2021
5
One of the stupidest stories ever. I have noticed that some of the catholic churches, while staying catholic, are becoming more evangelical. Thus, their stupidity level is rising - back to believing that the bible shit like Noah isnt just metaphorical.
Beowulfsfriend
Level 9
Feb 2, 2021
6
ezackly imo
big connect from RCC to Pentecostal i guess, hmm
@bbyrd009 Just look at the Kentucky catholic schools for a brief look. Then think Pennsylvania and Rick Santorum.
CuddyCruiser
Level 8
Feb 2, 2021
5
It is kind of hard to explain why after the flood the polar bears headed north and every variety of penguin all headed south. Come to think of it all bears ended up in the northern hemisphere. When compared with evolutionary theory, Noah's ark seems like a joke.
@snytiger6 That’s about it. I starting questioning that around age 11 wondering how it stayed afloat for 9 months without a bilge pump or proper ventilation.
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