This seems like the perfect place to ask this question. I find I like talking to only one person, not a group. I really don't enjoy social get togethers, unless I find one person to have a good conversation with.( I really dislike small talk.) I understand.

You can ask anything. I used to have a drink, drugs and smoking problem which included depression and panic attacks. I have stopped all of it now, the last being cannabis and the first being tobacco.

I am pretty choosy about who I interact with because there are always some troublesome areas - if I am feeling strong I can let them go but sometimes it just remains as a hurt I can't get rid of - I have in my past been alcoholic and also depressive but now that I have reached seventy - my metaphorical balls seem to have dropped and I have started to not suffer fools gladly but I realise that there has to be a littl ebit of give and take none of us are perfect especially me!

I deal with depression and anxiety on a daily basis. I'm not very social. I have avoidant personality disorder, very socially awkward, and I'm a bit of an agoraphobic. I had my time with alcohol and realized it did nothing. I see no value in alcohol other than something to numb the sense. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But it numbs everything. There was an old saying, and I'm paraphrasing it, but it was something like: "every time you drink from the bottle, it drinks from you." Not sure if that helps...

Fortunately I have never done needle drugs but if you could pop, smoke or snort it, I've done it. I drink 5-7 days a week since a teenager. Right now I am drug free and only drink beer (about 6 months). I have had come and go depression most of my life, sometimes severe. I self medicate. I feel if I didn't numb the shit out of me I would have committed suicide on many occaisions. Right now I am coming out of a 2 1/2 year depression and feel pretty good and somewhat optimistic. Yes I am socially awkward too. You are not alone.

Thanks for you transparency and honesty. I love how this website fosters bare-bones raw openness.

I suffer from both to some degree. I think primal, subconscious fear is the root of all these issues. And then there's brain chemistry. For me, I can go REAL dark into a depression for absolutely no reason. Life can be good, I have no reason to fear anything, my health is good... I eventually found something that works for me in spades. So much so, my wife suggests it to her clients who suffer from depression as well.

Talk to your doc first, but there's this supplement called Rhodiola. It works kinda like St Johns Wort or Ginseng, but way better. It's my happy pill. I'm a bit of an evangelist about it cuz of how well it works.

I am often a depressed alcoholic. The depression comes and goes and these days so does the alcoholism. My days of drinking like a silly idiot are gone. I can also identify with your need to talk to people but not wanting to be around them at the same time. What that always meant in my case was my significant other and I talking and ironing things out. During those times I had little depression. That changed again when I found myself alone. It's a strange world.

Browse the groups here (click "meet" then "groups" ) There are several groups here that touch on these issues

I don't drink alcohol, because I come from a long line of alcoholism, but I do suffer from depression and anxiety, especially lately. I also have horrible social anxiety, but at the same time I want to be social and "belong." I was so excited to be invited for a party for a co-worker yesterday, and then when I got there and was around all of the people I became very anxious. I was able to keep myself from going into a panic attack, but didn't hardly talk to anyone, and left feeling sad and defeated. I really want to get out if this cycle, but it is viscious. I envy people who find social situations to be fun and relaxing.

Not depressed or a substance abuser but have similar conflicts. I think we all have social needs, as we're hypersocial creatures, even if we happen to be introverted. However, it's hard to have more than very casual relationships with people without it being a source of unwanted drama.

I have personally tended to do some variant of hanging out with people for coffee, to play cards, or some other triviality, who get together for just that modest objective and don't try to make it more complicated than that. It works well especially for men I think; you can still grouse about things that bother you, or share concerns like a cancer scare, and have people ask after you, without there being many real expectations beyond showing up or maybe calling if you go missing for a couple of times, just to make sure everything's cool.

Currently I play cards with four other men every Saturday morning (no stakes 500 rummy is the game of choice). That works well for me. Where I used to live, there were a lot of semi-retired and self employed people and there was a group of men I stumbled on who sat in a coffee shop and shot the breeze every morning of the week. On any given day, different ones would be there, but there were always at least 3 or 4 of us. I found that this met my modest social needs during a period when I was widowed and not in a relationship. I found that I needed some in-person human contact every day or I got a little stir-crazy, but not much more than that (for years I've had daily contact of mostly a business nature via email, but it just wasn't quite cutting it).

Now that I'm married again, once a week is fine, just for a change of pace and to give my wife some reliable alone-time. Even when you're with someone as amazing as me, it gets old, and the feeling's mutual

First, what kind of depression? My experience with a debilitating depression was situational. Example, when my wife of sixteen years had an affair. Fell into depression hard. Started self medicating to the point of a fifth of liquor a day, seven days a week. Then my second wife commited suicide. Alcohol and opiates were in the picture again.
Intervention for the selfing medicating with alcohol would my first priority. Medical detox if daily abuse. 30 day treatment program always good if your chemical abuse has been on going. 12 Step groups. Outpatient mental health professionals for what's behind the chemical abuse and depression. Hopefully, you have good health insurance.

I'm only social on here.

Have been depressed. Alcohol is a depressant. Not depressed - don't drink alcohol. Smoke weed instead.

Many years ago alcohol I was self-medication with alcohol to cope with social situations. I had social phobia and the only way to cope was drink to relax myself. This of course did not end well. You don't tell us much but I have found that those with social phobia love people, they just fear being judged. So when you do find recovery (whatever that means for you) you find you enjoy people so much. You're empathetic, a good listener.
Right now, the more you avoid, the more you turn to alcohol, the worse the depression gets. See a psychologist that promotes Acceptance Commitment Therapy ACT. Check out Russ Harris on You tube. I'm in a hurry so must dash. Good luck to you. I feel for you. I am many years older than you and I swear to you it does get better!. If I am off track here, let me know.

Often depressed. I've never been much of a talker. Which explains a lot. Also a curmudgeon. I'd like one or two good friends to socialize with, but mostly I like my solitude.

Really makes you want to hang with me, huh?

I have been dealing with depression for a very long time. Its never easy & I'd rather stay home with a good book than have to go out anywhere. I'm also aware that i have an addictive personallity & I cannot just let myself go. There is a hard & fast limit for my proclivities & I stick to them if & when I allow myself to indulge.

My shrink is cool. I stay on my meds & everyone is relatively happy.

i have an extreme form of social anxiety, i have a hard time dealing with large crowds, especially if i don't know them, i can't go new places alone, i will literally get so freaked out that i either throw up or pass out or both. but i also get nervous if i havent talked to or seen the people i am close to in a while. depending on the level of anxiety, a little while can be anywhere between a few days to a few minutes. had a problem with alcohol for a while but not so much anymore cuz i backed off when i almost died from it. hope your ok. if you need to talk hmu. that ish is no fun alone.

I love being social..it's the morons around me that are tiresome..