No you ain't being a drama queen, someone you trusted fucked you over, so bitch away gorgeous..

Well fuck! Ain't that the shits. You've got a place to vent here, for sure. Reminds me of my Dad, he worked for years in center city Philadelphia, took the bus to work 5 days a week. Every morning there was a disabled man he passed on the walk from the bus to the shop. He always dropped a few quarters in his cup. The other thing he did every work day was bring a sandwich from home for lunch. One day he was running late and had no time to make the sandwich so at lunch he went to the deli for a sandwich. Guess who he saw walking into the deli? The disabled man who now is not disabled and dressed rather nice. He stopped droppin' a few quarters in the man's cup and gave some serious thought to settin' up a side gig panhandlin' on a Philly street corner. I loved my Dad's sense of humor.

She fucked up! I would answer her but I wouldn't give her any money. Just get an update about her and her life, keep it cordial, try to talk to her about turning in the computer. Who knows though she might have already pawned it or sold it for money for her and her husband's drug's. I just hope everyone's information is safe! She might not have internet access, who knows! What a difficult situation!

You can only help someone so much before they have to take care of their own selves. Don't doubt your instincts to help, but be aware that some will take you for a ride. Sounds like Rita came under a bad influence when she was very vulnerable. You shouldn't judge, but neither should you enable. And when you say you are not nice, I for one don't believe you. ❤

I’m really sorry to read that story Pralina, it makes me angry to know that your kind-heartedness - and yes that’s what it is…has been taken advantage of.

This lady has made her own choices and now must suffer whatever the consequences. My advice is to keep your distance from her now and cut your losses, or you will be forever sucked into her problems and you’ll end up drip feeding money to her because of your compassionate nature. Knowing she has your personal details is clearly a worry, but just keep an on eye bank accounts etc., and try to put this down to experience.

Whatever you do, don’t change from being the caring, loving person you are just because this time your trust was abused.

Aahhhhhh yes......its the old "no good deed goes unpunished". We've all been there, done that....bought the T-shirt. Some people are just naturally born "givers".....and other people are just naturally born "takers". When those two intersect - this is exactly what happens. Don't try to figure it out or rationalize it -- just move past it. But next time you feel the need to save someone (from themselves) --- take a beat and do a little sleuthing first.
Please do take precautions about sensitive info that her dirtbag of a husband might try to hack into or compromise in some way. Cause I'd hate to have to bring Vinnie up there to do some sanitation work.

Whether you want to hear it or not, don't punish yourself. Your heart, and yes you do have one, was and is in the right place. You did what you did for all of the right reasons. That is all l will say about this.

This is amazing.

If you fit nowhere, you are exactly as you should be. The world would be better off with more people like you.

You are an amazing person, to help people basically because that is what you do, that is who you are. You cannot be responsible for what other people do even if they are your friends. Do not worry about this person as they are going to do what they do. Helping them just might help destroy them, you are not responsible for that. Care for yourself, take care of yourself, you are a keeper.

Just let it go and know that you did your best.

Move on.
ASAP.

I think there is a basic goodness in people no matter how much they get caught up in drugs or other things. I'd say to trust your instincts, not your fears and whatever she does is a reflection of who she is. Don't let your nature be changed by the actions of another. Keep being who you are, trusting, kind, generous.

Oh Pralina1, you have morals and values that you show while living your life, and one of the ways you do that are trying to help a fellow human. No one could fault you for that. We just never know sometimes if we are helping or enabling someone. This woman may have many Issues that you or her other co worker’s just never knew about. The world certainly needs more kind and empathetic people like you, so don’t let this get you down. I think it might be a good idea to look into some kind of service that protects your information, and can alert you if someone is trying to use your info for their benefit. It’s sad that we all have to be concerned about this, but it’s our reality unfortunately.

Oh, I like ET, I have a frog that travels with me sometimes, when I need the humor and the company. Froggie is a great comedian.

Whatever ET is munching on sure looks yummy!!

I think you might be my soul mate!?!🥰

You said her partner passed away, maybe this is her coping with that? It's definitely a bad way to do it, but drugs and other bad decisions are very tempting for a lot of people when their hearts hurt. Just a thought.

I'm not sure what can be done about the access to info that she has, other than maybe turning her in for stolen property. It's technically not her laptop, right? I can tell that you care about her, at least in some capacity. It's hard to know what to do when you don't want to hurt them, but it might be the only option.

You have a good heart

Am I understanding this correctly, you now have reason to be concerned about what Rita and her apparently scuzbag boyfriend might be trying to dig-up on you information and personal details wise? Anything specific, just bank accounts etc or really bad stuff like cyber attacks? If you don't wish to answer that, I fully understand. Just hope the panic attacks don't wrack your nerves too much, they're no fun to experience.

On a side note, can't say I believe you when you say you aren't a nice person, we both know you are... and then some (emphasis on word some, more like alot).

Thank you for sharing. That’s a lot to digest and I fully agree with your analysis and concerns. Yea, not good. I’d say your response is warranted. I’d guess as long as your guard is up, there may be easier victims for her hubby to use then you in your community. Sadly, it sounds like Rita was destine or (if you believe in free will) has chosen a dark path. Even the most insightful person burdened with limited information can not predict such outcomes. I think we all have been deceived by less then honest people. Her lack of honesty in keeping you in the loop during her decent from a potentially stable life (if such an outcome was plausible) into a world that will likely be riddled with bad outcomes fully merits a red flag of severe apprehension. Based on Rita’s acquisition of her cancerous appendage, sounds like ghosting her may be the most prudent course of action as her parasite is likely setting her downward vector of destruction over production; thus placing her in a position to seek out benefactors to feed her parasite.

I often find vague similarities in our experiences. We have a teacher who a year ago finished her master’s degree but this year after her mother died she became increasingly less then happy with her hubby and ten-ish kids (ok it is down to nine-ish) as social services took one away last week) living with her so she “fell-in-love” with an unemployed drummer. She often does not make it to work and when she does, she often does not show up to work with her students and she spends nearly every minute of her time on the phone working with non-school related issues. Although a bright and nice person, many aspects of her job are better dealt with by other students as they are more involved with the students she is assigned. Today our weekly school “closing cermony” was canceled because our our principal was tied up in a meeting (annual evaluation?) with this teacher. I was told by the rumor mill the sound of shredding a (probable) evaluation form could be heard after their meeting. I am guessing she resigned and we will never see her as this teacher desire was to move back to an impoverished area over a hundred miles away and live in the house her dead mother owned with her new drummer boy friend and a bunch (he has 4) of kids. No jobs for many many miles from that house. The reason I bring up this story is her outcome, by my analysis, similar to Rita’s story, will likely be significantly less bright then it could have been if she did not find a less then productive man and showed up to work and performed her job. It was like the loss of her close mother (possibly similar to the loss of Rita’s live in friend) set into motion a downward vector that greatly exceeded any previous loss. Last year this teacher had lost (death) many friends including her best friend. She showed no change in behavior after those events. In any event, I doubt there is anything I or any of us could have done to change this teacher’s outcome. A few months ago, nobody at school would have possibly foreseen this outcome.

Last fall to help a family I dropped a large pile of cash on the father of two of my students so he could put a down on renting a house. Another teacher and her church helped him maintain rent for a short time. He had good intentions as he came to the college to get a degree and better his life to support his kids. His kids are remarkable people with fantastic abilities and my self justification for burning money was to buy them all some time with a higher standard of living. (a break from a homeless shelter) Although I hoped he would do well, his dependency on drugs caused him to loose his status as a student and later loose two different jobs. Next Friday (last day of school for our students) (assuming his daughter finishes and presents/defends her science project to multiple classes). She will have earned (first movie for the family was just for fun) another movie for her family and friends in my home theater. Although not as dire as redirecting funds to promote a cancer, only a limited-time benefit.

Perhaps I am mistaken but I think we both potentially have the ability to employ an inverse sharpshooter fallacy where it is possible to count the misses and (at times) ignore or forget the hits. It took me a very long time but I no longer lament mistakes of the past that caused me harm or past events where despite years of devoting significant resources, I was unable to positively change the trajectory of those I care about. When I reflect on the significant good you have imparted, including the bright woman who you guided to the status of physician, I see significant inner greatness and have no doubt you positively influence many lives you interact with on a daily basis. In the last few weeks I have encountered several parents who were once students. It is nice to have them recognize me and tell you how I influenced their outlook and in some instances lives. Opens a chain of similar memories from past students who came back to visit.
I am rather certain you have a more significant well of positive outcomes including many you may not be aware of; how much good you have imparted into their lives.

Two weeks ago a fellow teacher, a Republican, anti-choice, hard Catholic I’ve been working with for over 20 years lost her father. Despite me disagreeing with nearly every political and religious stance she firmly asserts, I always treat her with kindness and respect so I attended her Saturday gathering at her house where several other old teachers, her Alzheimer mother out of the nursing home for the day, her husband, her kids, grand kids, and a few of her out of town realities who were making it to town for the funeral chatted and ate goodies. The way the teacher was hurting she seemed so alone and as a result treated me, (almost a needy re-assurance) “You’ve always been such a good friend to me.” Etc. (I was also one of two teachers at our school who took time to attend the funeral) brought home the realization that even if we don’t recognize our influence on those we work with, for some, we provide a section of the foundation of perceived stability and safety on which they stand. I’d bet you provide a similar or stronger foundation to many. Although it is highly unlikely, unless you vacation north and stop by, we will run into each other, I have a greater understanding and agreement with your positions, and respect for who you are then the teacher I’ve been working with for over 20 years.

It is easy to play the conspiracy theory under such scenarios including: Was Rita’s partner of 20 years killed by her new gangsta wanna be hubby to make room for him? Was there a life insurance policy that she cashed in to settle the wanna be gangster's debt? How much of her presented life at work was a ruse? Etc. But most conspiracy theories (especially these) are baseless and are not likely worthy of serious consideration.

Most sorry for the rant. Whenever I run across your posts you almost always take me on a journey of discovery. There are a few good recommendation below this post. I’d be more concerned with potential identity theft then abduction.

Hey Ace Girl, I don't care what other people say about you behind your back, you're a good person and the world needs more like you.
Don't take it personal, I hired a lot of people that came from rough backgrounds and a lot of people who had done time, some of it serious time in the federal system. Most of those people suffered from a form of PTSD because of all the shit they had to deal with as kids and some of them got through it and some of the just couldn't and slipped back into old destructive patterns. I always offered a hand up and a way out but I never let them take my hand clean off because those few were going back to jail or worse and I wasn't about to endanger myself, my family and my extended family which were my employees. We can't help everyone, no matter how much we want to, sometimes it's just the train that they are riding to a dark place and misery loves company so don't get sucked in and wind up on that train with them.
Get yourself a security system or even just the sticker and place it prominently in the front window, just as an extra bit of deterrent in case that long shot comes through and they decide to try and do a snatch and grab on your place while you are at work. I pity the crack heads who kick in your door when you and the boys are home but still, be cautious but don't be paranoid about it, because the odds are very long that they are going to walk all the way over to your place, they don't even have a car.

Life happens, like shit happens!!!

Exciting game, where you will show the wonders of the drift hunters