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Is there such a thing as "toxic masculinity"?

... and if Yes: what is it and what would "healthy masculinity" look like?

Thibaud70 7 Mar 12
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7 comments

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1

I never see the word "masculinity" used without being preceded by "toxic". Contemporary society believes there is no other kind of masculinity.

1

There is both a social component (aggression, misogeny, etc) AND personal component, according to most definitions, which requires males to repress their emotions and to be exclusively self reliant.

I hope that both my XX and XY genotypic children get to embrace their HUMANITY, while having regard for others.

Zster Level 8 Mar 12, 2023
4

Be a PERSON first, treat others as People first, forget all that 'should' Crap you were taught.

You mean like. I saw a coat, ideal for riding my bike in, the other day. It is a ladies coat, buttons up the wrong way. Is that going to worry me ? Nah.

2

I agree with the comments below, but I will add that, just like almost everything else these days, it seems like there may be a bit of over-correction on this. I've been accused of mansplaining when it was simply just a case of explaining something that was being misunderstood. The other situation has also happened where a female doctor who can't get enough of calling out mansplaining (which to be fair, she has probably encountered a lot of discrimination) doctorsplained something to me that as a veteran nurse of almost 20 years was a very elementary task. The sex/gender of the person giving and receiving the X-plaining is largely irrelevant. Either you're being a rude asshole or you're not, so to label it as a sex/gender thing is silly in my opinion.

Well, 'mansplaining' is a minor offense, IMHO. I wonder if any sane, reasonable person would consider this 'toxic masculinity' ? What I've in mind is gang violence, rape culture, 'honor killings' etc...

4

Yes. My future wife experienced toxic masculinity at the hands of her boyfriend of the time.

Healthy masculinity looks like having a supreme regard for the needs, fears and mistakes of the partner.

10

Based on the simple fact that almost anything can be toxic in excess, or in the wrong circumstances.

Of course.

Though I suspect, a lot of so called masculinity, especially the toxic sort, is not masculinity at all, but merely immaturity trying to pose as masculinity. Healthy masculinity therefore would be the opposite of that, and would not show the self centered habits and narcissism, which you associate with youth.

yes, that, what he said.

1

No, it is a myth, intended to explain away complex behaviors and emotions. From Medium, which is a left-leaning site...
Toxic Masculinity Is A Myth-
[medium.com]

We need more strong and independent men in society who lead by example, the kind of men who seek to protect and fight for women's individual rights instead of trying to deny them such and taking advantage of them. In the end, masculinity is whatever an individual man lets it be, and such emotions could be used for both positive and negative purposes. I'm a decent example of one who's comfortable in his masculinity, as I can be both a rough and tumble gun owner, and I can also be a sexual male exotic entertainer for women, both rough and soft sides which in turn strike a balance in life. Such balance is missing in the lives of many men these days, but that is an individual (each man that is) problem and not a collective one (aka, the toxic masculinity theory).

I'm sure that toxic masculinity exists. It's raw, untamed masculinity, like we see it in gangs (just look at gang violence in Latin America!), or now in the war in Ukraine (excessive violence, torture, rape...), or in all societies where men consider women and girls to be their property (and if this property misbehaves, men have the right, even the duty, to punish females: slaps in the face, rape, mutilation, 'honor killings...)

@Thibaud70 That sounds like a personal issue(s) though and not directly anything to do with masculinity itself. Same could conceivably apply to feminism, I don't think feminism unto itself is or ever was a problem, even though there are women out there who are abusive towards others and feel entitled. Human emotions are a complex thing.

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