My family was not overly religious to begin with, my dad was an atheist (I didn’t actually know this until much later, after I had realized I was), my mom was very much a cafeteria Christian, in the United Church of Canada. Even with this, they had some issues when I first became outspoken as an atheist, which surprised me.

Yes, both of my grand fathers were ministers. I have a cousin who is a minister and one who is married to a minister. My dad was a church elder my mom sang in the choir. I told my dad that I no longer believed and went through all my reasons how I came to my atheism. He said he was sad but that he understood and that he brought be up to make my own mind. I asked what the rest of the family would say. He said they will be sad but they will always love me. I guess I was lucky.

I came out as an atheist slowly, I was lucky enough that during that time, my parents lived with me in my house. They had to somewhat put up with me and they eventually saw that deep down I was still that “good” person they raised. They still hope that I’ll come around. In regards to extended family and friends, some know and some still don’t. I’m actually meeting up with the pastor from the church I used to attend tomorrow. It’s most likely because he hasn’t seen me in attendance since christmas. I still don’t know how I should steer the conversation.

Yes. I told my extremely religious, conservative and repressed mother years ago that I don't believe in 'god,' deities or any spirituality. Her answer? "I'll pray for you." She was the toxic matron of a very dysfunctional family unit and took every opportunity she had to invalidate everyone else's feelings, so a big part of the reason I spoke so openly and bluntly about my philosophy with her was mostly to shock and alienate her. I didn't say it in a particularly challenging tone of voice, to indicate I was offering a challenge in any way. I just said it very matter-of-factly, as if to convey, "this is how it is for me; you can argue against me, put me down, invalidate my feelings as much as you want, but it won't make a difference this time." At the time I shared my philosophy with her, I was also mostly past the age of arguing back against everything she said. I brought it up to shock and alienate, but that was the end of it for me. I had no intention of arguing about it or discussing it further, as I might have done in younger years. I simply made my statement, let her say what she wanted to say about it and moved on.

In subsequent years, whenever I'd make the mistake of trying to share my feelings with her about something stressing me at work, school, or a personal issue causing anxiety, she'd usually respond with "I'll pray for you." To which I'd matter-of-factly state, "mom, you know I don't believe in god," which I know she hated to hear. But it was my way of maintaining boundaries from her emotional abuse, protecting myself ...with the added benefit of pissing her off. She'd sometimes try to argue about it, tell me I'm going to hell, to which I'd respond, "well, I don't believe in that stuff, so it doesn't affect me," and leave it at that. I wouldn't argue further, just maintained my point, and eventually she stopped trying to press my buttons as much and rile me into an argument. It wasn't fun for her if I didn't argue, so I tried to sidestep that pattern.

Yes but my story won’t help you come out really. I’d already had serious problems with both of them to the point that I’ve been in court against both of them and I’m not a litigious person. So I’m pretty sure I told them both during an argument, at which time (and ever since) I haven’t given a rusty fuck what they think about it. I don’t really like either one of them and our relationship is complicated in many more fucked up ways than the fracture in belief, but I love them n they me. Don’t have to like your family just have to love em. Assuming your relationship with your folks is a little more conventional just try to be kind but honest and make a stand when you feel ready and it’s necessary.

I did, years ago, and it was quite a shock to them, especially since I had been a model believer and wanted to be a minister.

I informed them one evening while sitting in the living room. I pointed out some conflicts between various bible stories and history. Mom cried and cried. Dad never said much. My girlfriend was also there. I was in my 20s and had been living away from home for about 3 years.

I was convinced their love would be stronger than any negative feelings, and that did prove to be true. We had plenty of arguments over the subsequent years. Mom did mellow some with time, because she knew I knew far more than she did, and she was never able to rebut anything I ever said. We can still have occasional arguments, but overall love remains the strongest emotion in our family.

One of my 3 brothers also stopped believing, but he is not as vocal.

I also created a web site where I posted many of my reasons for leaving the faith, and I shared it with mom, although she didn’t seem interested in processing it.

It helped one of my brothers.

There are real social consequences to coming out. I am very aware that I am treated differently by people who used to know me. But I believed it was something I needed to do.

I still hope more people will do so over time, and atheism will become normalized, lose its stigma, and eventually become more popular than theism, but I don’t know how long that will take.

For the more outwardly religious family and friends I just ripped off the metaphorical bandaid and told them. Everyone else I just hint at it.

I think most of us have at some point. It takes some hard statements. The part that get me is when they see you don't do any religious things for 40 years or more than how can they not know you don't believe as they do. We have no contact now, but not because of religious values, I could not accept her values and disrespect.

Did it last year, when I was coming out as Bisexual. Not sure which was more of a lead balloon.

I don't have the heart to. It would ruin my relationship with my mom so I just chose not to tell her.

From Italian Catholic family, alter boy, studied bible to be a priest, then found science around 16yo. My questions to my church were not only unanswered, but seemed to be ignored. Was in my 20's when I said f#ck it and realized thru many different disciplines that the buy bull was exactly that. Chose not to tell my mom before she died. My dad found out, and was furious! To be honest... IDGAF!
I prefer my clarity to that delusion, regardless of the hurt feelings or subsequent pressure to give Jesus another chance. Almost sounds comical, if not pathetic at this point in my life..?

I often mention being agnostic on my Facebook page, but so far nobody has commented. I'd already defriended any of my childhood Haiti MK (missionary kid) friends who posted racist, homophobic, pro-NRA, or pro-Trump posts on Facebook, after first warning them, then giving them dressings down in private messages for being blatant white supremacist hypocrites.

When I came out as partial transmale, and nonbinary, I simply sent a brief, casual, group email to my immediate family, explaining what I am, and what the terms mean.
I'd only recently realized what I am a few months earlier.

Yes. They had an “intervention” to find out what was going on with me and proceeded to each share their testimony (even though I was instrumental in bringing all three of them to christ). It’s taken my mom about 3 years to not be angry about it. I’ve found that the more time I spend with her equals a smoother relationship. It’s like she forgets that I’m “still me” if we don’t communicate regularly.

I'm lucky from some of the stories I've heard. My father was an atheist and still is so any kind of coming out for me was easy. I tried religion was even baptized as a Lutheran but just couldn't get past the logic or ill logic of religious Doctrine. I was worried telling my sister who was religious, a Baptist, but as it turned out that went really well too because she was also a non-believer. So hopefully in your case it wasn't so difficult.

Why should you be the one who "makes the effort"? You should be true to yourself, and not let yourself live a lie! You will feel better, stronger and your life will be simpler if you never lie and hold your head up high! Why should you live your life forever asking yourself what X and Y would think? Do X and Y ask themselves what you would think before taking their decisions?! Be free, and you will also certainly discover your true friends that way! As for your family, their frightened superstitions are their self-imposed problem. Try to talk them out of them by all means, otherwise, if their "good news" makes them satisfyingly depressed, as per their lugubrious prayers and chants, leave them to it! It may be harsh to tell you this, but if they threaten to turn their backs on you, perhaps keeping their so-called love is not worth losing your self-respect... One exception: Elderly relatives. Too late to convert them, and if they are kindly, let them go in peace!

Yes, to my ex in-laws. They are very devout Catholics. They are also the most wonderful people and I get on with them far, far better than I ever did their daughter. I still consider them more family than most other folks I know in my adopted country (Australia) They have never attempted to dispute my views and accepted my disclosure with extremely good grace. They have always treated me with the most complete and unconditional positive regard. For which, considering the mess their daughter and I made of things, I shall be forever grateful. Win/win...

I had this conversation about 6 years ago, but it contained a bit more baggage than merely, "mom, dad, I'm an atheist."

I was not yet legally divorced, I was (secretly) living with my current wife (it occurs to me I should point out that no, we are not the product of an affair... at least not one between us - it was our respective ex's cheating that put us both on the market as it were), we were now (unexpectedly) pregnant with our first child, and oh, by the way I'm also an atheist.

This was a rough conversation to have with my very religious (evangelical) family.

I am very happy to say that things between me and my family are good. Great, in fact. There have been incidents, yes, but boundaries now exist that define our relationships as being more important than our ideologies or the need to prove ones self right. That is perhaps key in the continuation of relationships.

Not allowing anger to come from yourself when having the reveal conversation is also an important factor in the preservation of relationships (if such is your goal). Anger and high emotion is expected in such a conversation, but it will be hard to protect relationships if the one doing the revealing is also unruly. Easier said than done, I know.

About 10 years ago, I told my Nigerian parents that I no longer believed in the Catholic Church. It cause a huge confrontation. My dad was so angry. Lol.

Now I no longer hide it. My family knows I'm not religious but are all uneasy about it. My mom keeps asking me to stop mentioning atheism on Facebook.

Well, for starters, I feel responsible for some of the very religious people in my family because at one point in my life I was extremely religious and proselytized many of them personally. Since coming to disavow all religions, I find myself having to explain that I am no longer a believer. This is less than well-received information to those who are still walking the religious paths. Yet, I do as you suggest, I leave them to hold the beliefs that serve them. I claim responsibility for one life, in particular, my own. While I may wish for the others to recognize the role of tradition in their belief systems, whether they arrive at the same conclusion as I have is ultimately their own choice.

I just started sharing atheist memes on Facebook LOL
...none of them talk to me about it except occasionally my mum.

Yup, 24 years ago I said, I'm dropping out of seminary bc I don't believe in God. I was their golden boy, gonna be a preacher but I think they saw it coming. A few years ago Mom asked if I believed in hell, I said no and she said OK.

We've had super chill talks about spirituality and my mom even went to meditation with me last year.

My sister stopped going to church in HS, but honestly she's harder to talk with than my devout parents.

Several Xtian friends have defriended me on FB and two sent me long letters how I used to inspire them and they'll pray for me every day.

My experiences seem atypical though, it might be best to say nothing for a few years but personally I wouldn't go to church more than 2-3X a year. GOOD LUCK!