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What do you do when you are EXPECTED to follow Christian beliefs?

For example during Xmas and Easter, my family expects me to pray before eating. I don't want to, but when company is around I just pretend to bow and pray. But, really I am lowering my head in shame for being a hypocrite. Another thing is during the Winter Solstice I always say "Happy Holidays". In addition to working full-time as a mechanic, I also took inbound orders for a company to make some extra Holiday cash. I was always polite, and would wish them Happy Holidays. After placing an order once a lady insisted that I wish her "Merry Christmas". I was hourly + commission. Just wanted to get off the phone so I could take the next order! So I did. I wanted to say something, but I'd probably get written up, or fired (legally they can't due to religious beliefs). Keep in mind these are people I don't know, and will never meet. What am I supposed to say? "Happy I-Have-No-Idea-What-Religion-You-Are and have a good one"? It is flustrating to be almost forced into obeying by their rituals.

TheGreatShadow 9 May 30
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20 comments

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0

I refuse to debase myself for someone else delusions. I attended a lengthy conference at Pepperdine University, and after every session it was 'hold hands in a big circle and pray', I simply excused myself from the room. If I find myself caught at a dinner table I will simply observe a 'moment of silence (that is I say nothing) and I don't bow my head or pretend to believe something I don't. Period.

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Be a good guest and a good host, respectful silence at their house, no prayers at mine but if you keep it to yourself I won't mention it. Criticism and attempts to convert me will be met with same.

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I don't get bent out of shape about the saying: Merry Christmas. Like someone else mentioned, it has indeed become a non-secular tradition, fueled by consumerism and greed.....
However, being expected to pray?? Screw that. That's where I draw the line.

0

I do what I want.

1

This used to bother me, but now it doesn't even make a dent. I won't participate, and if someone asks me to testify or something, I'll start with "well, as an atheist, I think that people can react to the (solstice, holiday, memorial, tribute, or novena) however they want. Good luck to all!" Or something like that. If nobody asks, I don't say a damned thing.

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I've been fluent in "doublethink" for many years now, so its easy to both believe and disbelieve almost anything. So I can bow my head in prayer and sit there praying for them all to eat shit and die, and say a hearty amen at the end. I usually say Happy Holidays to be inclusive, but if someone says Merry Christmas to me first, I'll say it back. I like to celebrate Christmas even though I know darn well if Jesus existed its not his birthday, its the winter solstice. I've observed that people automatically assume everybody believes and thinks as they do, and why "out myself" to them - my personal beliefs are none of their business anyway. I'm no longer an arrogant teen who must proclaim my differences to the world - its easier to play the chameleon and more fun and educational too, since people don't shut you out when they don't know who you really are.

1

I would have never gone along with someone trying to force me to give them a religious greeting.

"I'm not doing that. Is there anything else related to this transaction which I may assist you with?

If it is like any other call center I have worked at the calls are all recorded.

Yep. Not all are reviewed. Plus if they really wanted to fire me, they'd find a "reason". Things like that happens all the time.

0

I just go with it and close my eyes and meditate a bit. It's one example of "social lubricant" that saves me a lot of grief. If I can use it to make a friend, I might have a chance of talking about the R-Word and not making an enemy.

3

I personally just don't think it's of any great consequence to humor them. Nor is it disingenuous when what they are really asking of you is to BE disingenuous, to play along. It's no different than dressing up as a witch at Halloween; you're not "endorsing" or "promoting" or "condoning" witchcraft, you're just participating with others in playing a role and having fun. Although ironically some fundamentalists don't "do" Halloween exactly because they think that would be condoning evil and/or opening themselves up to it. I don't think atheists should have what amount to similar magical beliefs about Christmas.

I don't participate in Christmas because I'm not interested, don't have to, and have no children still at home who want to. But if I had to indulge it a bit for a customer service or sales role or to placate sensitive relatives I likely would, at least minimally, comply. It's harmless. Indeed, Christmas, let's be honest, is mostly a secular holiday anyway. It's crassly commercial and materialistic. Christians can whimper all they want about how they want to "put the Christ back in Christmas" but he long since fled the scene.

One has to decide what hills one actually wants / needs to die on. I don't think the culture wars over Christmas should be one of them. If you disagree, then take a stand and make a statement, loud and proud, but I don't judge you if you don't.

As for dinner prayers, I would draw the line at making a pretense of talking to an invisible being I don't believe in, but I would have no issue bowing my head and letting a Real Christian (tm) do it so long as they don't use it as an opportunity to preach at me under the guise of prayer. I can respect the customs of others, particularly in their own homes. "No thanks, why don't you pray, Fred" or similar should do the trick.

Christians hijacked the Winter Woltice and "christified" it. Since Christmas is a tradition in my family that we all enjoy, we celebrate it. Gift giving is a lot of fun and strengthens social connections. I always say Happy Holidays so I include all beliefs no matter how much it angers people though. They need to get over it and realize that they aren't the only game in town.

0

As I am relatively new to atheism I have found myself sitting quietly in such occasions. I have tried to explain my position in the past but have been ignored. I recently found myself walking out of a funeral as I could not understand how the people at the service could sit there and be referred to as sinners. Now that I am becoming more confident in my 'beliefs' I would have no difficulty in publicly obstaining from such situations. I am now no longer concerned with people who find it difficult to understand or are unwilling to discuss in a reasonable manner my 'beliefs', or lack of them.

0

At my house, when it's time to eat. I say, "Good food, good meat, GOOD GOD, let's eat!" Sometimes we say, "Paco, Paco, thanks for the taco." Is that racist? hehe

If Paco was there and made said tacos, no lol

1

I was raised as a catholic and my family are still catholics. When praying before meals I always just sit silently. They know better than to ask me to lead a prayer. My brother-in-law is an atheist and his approach is the same as mine, although sometimes he will respond with "praise Jombie" or "mekka-lekka-hai-mekka-hai-nee-ho", which always gets a chuckle out of me.

I never interfere with anyone's "observance", but I also do not participate. There are those occasions when someone wants to insist that I participate, and then I get angry and flatly tell them that I refuse to have anything to do with their superstitious rituals.

1

I kinda take the Captain Picard meeting a weird alien species philosophy.

Be kind and follow their customs unless it truly affects you. Then take a stand. If you're in their home and they want you to bow your head before dinner do it. If they're in your home explain that doesn't happen there.

If they want to hear "Merry Christmas" just say it. It costs you nothing. If they start demanding the local priest gets to rape your kid, then fight them back.

1

Um, don't pray, because not everything is a personal attack?

3

They expect you to respect their right to believe what they think is right. Likewise, you should expect they respect your right to believe what you think is right. It's only fair.

When prayer is made at a dinner table I will sit silently. I resent being asked to join hands around a table but I reluctantly do. I like to look around for anyone else who is not praying. I refuse to be coerced into standing in a prayer circle. I'll walk away.

If someone insisted that I wish them a "merrry Xmas" I'll wish them a good day! I'm retired and don't have to go along to get along anymore.

0

I am not disruptive in any way, but I just ignore what is taking place and continue doing what I feel I need or want to do.

0

Refuse.

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This stuff never bothers me. I do "whatever's customary", within personal limits.
Example: Saudi Arabia - prayer call. I'd stand back and bow my head to show respect for their culture. But I'd never think of kneeling on a prayer rug and bowing towards Mecca with them.
Saying Grace: I'll bow my head, hold hands if everyone is doing this while a prayer is said. I won't say "amen" with everyone though.
Showing respect for other's beliefs is, to me, just good manners.

2

I don't feel shame for being expected to follow their traditions and acting as if I do so, I consider it a form of respect. I do however feel bad for people who expect me to follow their religious tradition without first asking me my beliefs. If their belief is so fragile that forcing others to act it out even just with peer pressure then I feel sorry for them as well.

If I'm at a table and someone wants to pray that is their right and they are more than free to do so. Their belief has no bearing on mine. I can accept them as a person with a regardless of my own beliefs or lack thereof.

I usually feel bad for theists before I hate them. Their mind and their belief is not their own, and that's sad because they don't even realize it.

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