Trump Tweets Rudy Giuliani Has Tested Positive for Coronavirus

President Trump has just tweeted that his personal lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani, who has been the main point man in the President’s bid to overturn the November election, has tested positive for the coronavirus.

Geez, don’t tell me yet another Republican coronavirus denier, has now tested positive for the virus? Why, who could’ve thunk it? My word, the Republican Party is working like a well-designed, self-cleaning oven. Now, my question is, does anyone know if Beano can cure Covid-19? Otherwise, Rudy’ll soon be farting Hydroxychloroquine. Now, on a positive note for Rudy, most of those hospital gowns are backless.

But, come on! Who could have possibly imagined that meeting with hundreds and hundreds of people, without social distancing or wearing a face mask - while you’re trying to undermine the basic foundations of our democracy, could make you vulnerable to contracting this horrible disease - other than just about every single health professional on Earth?

Oddly, some are arguing that Rudy didn’t actually get the virus by close social contact, but are instead claiming he got it by drinking other people’s blood. And, while we can’t confirm that, we can pretty much confirm that Rudy’s now so thoroughly trashed his reputation that, even if he does pull through - about the only job offers he’ll ever get from here on out - will be Mr. Pillow commercials.

[johnnyrobish.medium.com]