Self-acceptance of my homosexuality is the hardest thing to accomplish. So many overt and covert negative messaging from the society that it is hard to block out. I am glad I live in Canada, however, we still have a long way to go. I can't imagine living in a country that would put me in jail or worse, kill me just because of who I am attracted to physically and emotionally. Anxiety and depression are the by-products. Still striving for pride and self-acceptance every day.
Self-acceptance is always the hardest part. I was always supportive to my gay friends, and never negative about their sexuality, but always pressed myself to be a practising heterosexual, no matter how clear it became that same sex was by far my stronger preference.
Then again, my mum was the same. Lots of gay friends (she worked in publishing and television) and they were just faaaaaaabulous! Would she accept it in me? No. Possibly because that meant (to her) that she'd failed as a parent. Largely, I think, because since she was Catholic, my being gay brought shame to the whole family.
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