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Sometimes I feel weird.

I just recently discovered I was truly Bi. I've been coming out to a fair number of friends, but I certainly have not made it public on forums like Facebook.
The other night, I told a married couple who are friends. I made sure to tell them when their adult son was out of the room. I sensed he might be bothered by the news. The husband took it in stride. The wife took it okay, but not quite as well.
It makes me feel weird, though. I enjoy telling most people and feel good about myself. But I am still afraid of some reactions.
Has anyone here gone though sometime similar? Are there still some people you'd never come out to?

MrLizard 8 July 22
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11 comments

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0

Hi—I came out as bi at age 57, and I have found it to be quite a lovely experience.

UUNJ Level 8 Aug 2, 2018
2

I came out in two separate ways, many years apart. I first came out as bi in grad school, as I was marrying my wife. She accepted it in theory, ...just so long as I was monogamous. I joined the campus gay et al alliance, even became group treasurer for two years. Went to the '93 March on Washington (it was AWESOME!), made great "family" friends. But soon enough I settled into an utterly hetero lifestyle for years and years. Turned to gay porn as a rather limited outlet. I came out all over again as gay in 2014. Amicable split from wife. She and my son are both progressive and cool with it. I guess I am what you could call a 70/30 gay.
Labels are often inadequate to describe us. I think that adds to our fear of coming out. To tell people "I am this or that" seems to risk misunderstanding them jumping to erroneous conclusions, and judgment. For all those years after I came out as bi, which technically is what my orientation is, I told very few people. I had labeled myself as bi, was living a hetero life, and increasingly simply felt gay. What a mess. Now I am a gay guy who could imagine being seduced by a woman under the right circumstances. lol
BTW, I am generally out, now, to anyone who cares to ask, plus many who haven't asked, some co-workers, a few clients, even, and casual friends I have made in social clubs. But I don't wear a button to announce it to the world, or anything. Some situations just are not appropriate for bringing it up without a direct provocation.

0

I never came out per se, I just started posting pride stuff on FB and linking to different pro-LGBT articles. I think people figured it out. If they wanted to talk about it, I would, otherwise I just acted like...whatever, it is what it is. Easier that way.

K_M_C Level 4 July 23, 2018
0

My first wife divorced me over it, my second wife was ok with it.

LouisD61 Level 7 July 23, 2018
4

I applaud you for your braveness in telling your friends. I'm out to my friends, but I don't think I will ever tell my two bosses. And that's okay -- to keep it private in certain circumstances. Do what makes you feel comfortable. And your feeling weird -- well, it's still a tough topic sometimes to broach.

3

Nope. Couldn't care any less regarding opinions of my sexuality.

MollyBell Level 7 July 23, 2018
1

Yes, I had to come out in stages as well. Even still I will never let my grandparents know as I know they will not take it well. Just go at your own pace.

Katrik Level 7 July 22, 2018
0

I think you should fully come out and live your life freely without worrying if they will find out themselves unless you don't want to take the chance of losing their friendship, up to you.

sellinger Level 7 July 22, 2018

@MrLizard well, like I said, it's up to you. I've had friends tell me they were gay in the past and I told them I already knew that.

"who told you" he asked.
Nobody told, I just had a suspicion...

So they might already know but are not sure. Know what I mean?

@MrLizard but I'm not gay haha

1

Grandparents probably. They’re old and they have a fairly hostile attitude towards LGBT issues. Students because it’s none of their business. Other than that I’m fairly open about it.

Prescott Level 5 July 22, 2018

@MrLizard

8

I more or less grew up bi...or pan...if someone appealed to me and was willing, game was on....had a long talk before marriage with my fiance..Explained that I would continue to have safe sex, with one man, not wild party stuff and if she would not handle it, we would not marry...but she would have the freedom to have a boyfriend or boyfriends, depending on her needs, since we both were VERY sexually active before marriage, long story short, we married, we had friends, we had sex, the best part was WE NEVER HAD TO LIE...

NormCastle Level 7 July 22, 2018
1

Most of my friends don't know I'm bi. I live in a very conservative area... and it hasn't really come up either. I will make comments like, she's hot..but that's it.

Sirena Level 7 July 22, 2018

Oh, a lot don't even know I'm atheist.

@Sirena what do you think would evoke a more negative reaction, bisexual or atheist?

@Prescott that's a great question! My area is highly populated with Christians, so I just try to say "I respect other's beliefs and prefer to not discuss". All my friends are liberal minded, so I know they are open to gay rights.. but they are probably equally taboo here.

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