Well I set up this group, so I should post an intro.

I've been fighting being more gay than straight since I first became sexually aware. It's been apparent to me from a very early age that I fancied boys a lot more than girls, though I put a lot of this down to being in all male environments (boarding school etc.) and so only getting an opportunity to form same sex emotional connections. Raised (by a Catholic mother) with the belief that if you could be a practising heterosexual, that's what you should be, I never thought I was gay enough to go down that route. Though I once made a crush on a male friend rather too obvious in my early twenties (while I was still living at my mother's) and got "I'm not having any of that shit under my roof."

So I knuckled down and started dating women. Met one. Bought a house together. Got married. Had a child. The sex didn't work properly almost from day one. Two passive people in one bed? It was probably never going to. Sex was a rarity, but we both put that down to her low libido. While that was the primary cause, I think the fact that I just don't function properly in the typical male sexual role was a problem, too. (Not in the sense of physical function, but in the sense of not feeling comfortable instigating the seduction process.) I was willing to stick with the relationship 'for better or for worse', but she decided to end it. I'd already figured most of this out by then, so I grabbed the opportunity to be myself.

Fast-forward, and I'm just more comfortable in the feminine role than the masculine one these days. How I got here is perhaps a story for another day. It started out sexual, and still occasionally is, but it mostly just feels comfortable. I have a great social life built around the transgender scene in Manchester and Leeds and I've made a lot more friends than I've lost to the coming out process. I could possibly go full time with a suitably supportive partner, but I worry that the whole thing might become a chore.

I am a clothing non-conformist at heart. I've been a naturist for about 15 years, and wear kilts a lot in male mode. I don't like wearing anything with a crotch. I ideally don't like anything around my waist. If men could get away with wearing dresses, I'd do it in 'bloke mode.' As it stands, I only feel comfortable going out if I've shaved and applied makeup too.

Definitely a practising homosexual, since I haven't been with anyone female in over 5 years. My underlying sexuality isn't the kind of gay that finds the idea of being intimate with someone female revolting. I just don't find it particularly appealing either. I'd much rather be intimate with a male. Gender identity-wise? I'm still figuring it out. I quite like the term 'gender atheist', though given that my thoughts on the matter tend to fluctuate over time, I think 'genderfluid' probably sums me up best.