For my fellow gay men, does this bother you too? Alright, a lot of people tend to think that just because I am a gay male, I'm somehow supposed to be effeminate and mincing. Like I have to fit a stereotype of what they expect homosexual men to be like. I'm a metalhead, not a pop music aficionado. I'm a smoker and I drink beer and like football. I hate it whenever someone thinks that to fit in the community, they have to be all femme. Personally, I am attracted to maleness, so why would I want to act like a female, or want a man who does?
HAHAHAHA...i hear ya there buddy, i'm not gay, i'm bi. Although i'm not into football...NOBODY would ever guess i love TO SUCK COCK EITHER. ALL MAN here...on the outside...but when i meet a guy i like...i become a different man in bed. i CAN'T be feminine...I SEE guys like that...but THAT is IN THEM. i can IMITATE THEM, but that would be more like making fun of somebody i can't be...not that i try to be. I'm just me...just a guy...I like fast cars, i love westerns, war movie, comedies, i'm a writer, a singer, musician. I'm an artist...NOT PAINTING or anything like that...but...that...is just who i am. I NEVER fit the MOLD at all.
I'm a female, and I often don't act like a female. I don't identify as butch or femme. Doesn't it suck that people make so many assumptions?
I hate when people think I love drag race and that I’m good at dressing, I mean I’m in my fav x men t shirt when I can! Same time, I hate being judge cause of how I talk, I sound gay and some people think I’m girly cause of it. The assumptions gah and straight people make, is amazing!
Surely it's only gay bottoms that are effeminate and mince. It's okay for gay tops to be manly men.
Nonsense, of course (I've dated a guy who was very camp, but also exclusively top.) I just wanted to illustrate that the clichés exist within the gay community, too. Lots of people make assumptions about your sexual role, based on whether or not you project Alpha Male sufficiently well. Female homosexuality doesn't fare any better. You're either a 'lipstick lesbian' or a 'diesel dyke.'
Good old gender stereotypes, eh? The whole thing's a load of nonsense, if you ask me. Something to be played with and subverted. Which is one of the reasons why I identify as agender and present as situationally genderfluid these days.
In 'bloke mode', there's nothing remotely obvious about my sexuality, other than the wristbands that I wear 24/7/365. And I'm not about to start affecting the whole camp/mincing thing just to make it obvious. I sometimes wonder how many do, though.
I'm not a gay man, but this does bother me too. I used to visit a local gay bar quite often (because Thursday night gay bingo was hilarious, and they stayed open until 3am) where I became friendly with a couple who worked on building sites. They were both over six feet tall and looked like they were built of the same concrete and bricks they worked with - in other words, about as effeminate as a battle tank that injects itself with testosterone - and it used to really annoy them when people wouldn't believe they were gay. (I used to know a very typically feminine woman - petite, blonde, very attractive, liked to wear floral summer dresses and heels) - who got annoyed that many people wouldn't believe she was really a lesbian, too.)
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